Combat Baby, Comeback Baby!
by 00 BodySnatcher
Summary: Piper lost everything. And she's not only dealing with that, but surviving after it all is pretty tough too - so here she is, at the school, trying to solve the mystery that has become her life. And Logan's gonna help. But why? LoganOC
1. No One Sleeps When I'm Awake

Disclaimer: I own no X-men or any of the characters, nor do I own the original Surge.

Summary: Piper, or Surge, seeks shelter at the School for Gifted Youngsters, but maybe a home as well. She wasn't expecting to find herself falling hard for one of the mutants there, or that she could function properly in a relationship at all. But that's the trick, isn't it?

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"_We lead our lives like water flowing down a hill, going more or less in one direction until we splash into something that forces us to find a new course." – Memoirs Of A Geisha_

Piper Isabella Kirby is my full name, and I can't recall half my life. OK, well, that's not true. I just like to be dramatic sometimes, and I figure I might as well spice it up; hell it's a story, isn't it? You're supposed to be entertained. But I guess I'll start with honesty and try to stick with it. Where was I?

Ah, the memories! Well, there aren't many. It may not be half my life, but in all honesty, I don't remember anything before age 10. My earliest memory is…well I don't have a specific one, but there's a huge gap in my life where my childhood should be.

So the story goes, when I was 10 my daddy came home mad as hell. He was a drinker, and he had a pistol tucked away in the bedroom drawer. I'm told he found out that my mommy had been cheating on him with someone else and he didn't like it. He shot her dead and came upstairs looking for me. I had hidden under my bed – that's where the police found me, anyways. When daddy couldn't find me, he shot himself instead.

Neighbors heard the noise and called the police. Asa Lawler was one of the cops who had found me, and after losing her own husband the previous year; she was looking for someone to fill that gap inside of her. That gap filler was me, and after she filled out the paper work, she was my adoptive mother.

It wasn't until I was 16 that I realized I wasn't suffering from the normal girls puberty, and that I was in fact, a mutant. I don't recall caring too much. My life had been a quiet one with Mama Asa and I living in her Rittenhouse Square apartment in Philadelphia. I know it's probably not normal to hear me say I didn't care, but I kind of expected it, what with my messed up memories and childhood.

Anyways, Asa and I had gotten into a huge fight. I had decided I was old enough to know what really happened to my parents, instead of the terrible accident that left them shot dead and me alive with no memories of it. She decided that there was no reason to tell me, especially considering that my head hadn't let me remember. Part of me was very aware of this – it must have been traumatic if I still couldn't remember it, but I felt the need to know. This was when I caused my first citywide blackout.

Ok-ok-ok! Sorry. So I lied again. I'm not a liar, just an exaggerator. Anyways, it was only a few blocks, but…well I'm kind of like a power surge. Thus, they call me Surge. They? Well, it's a self given name I gave myself to rebel, but it works too.

It wasn't that noticeable, but you could sort of feel it in the air, the electricity. Its like when you look across the pavement on hot sunny days and you can see the ripples of heat. Asa said that's what my body looked like. The more I screamed at her, but more the lights flickered. A stomp of the foot and the blackout happened.

This scared both of us, but for different reasons. Eventually the power came back on, not because of me, and we continued our conversation more calmly. Asa agreed to tell me the truth, in exchange for me keeping my mutation a secret.

It's kind of hard to keep a mutation a secret when you're blue, have a tail, or resemble a hobbit, but I was pretty average. I've got what I believe to by my mommy's blond hair, and…well, ok, I do have the two different colored eyes thing going on. One blue grey, the other almost violet, but that was really it. And since it was something that I had my whole life, people just assumed I had it from birth. I guess its just part of the whole, electricity thing I've got going on.

I kept my mutation a secret, only using it when I was alone. I thought I was a human electrical cord. I'd turn the lights on and off by sheer force of will. But things changed as I aged, and soon I was like Spiderman, but instead of webs, I was shooting shockwaves, electrical surges, and bolts of lightning out of my arms. Sure, the lines of electricity coming out of me didn't look as big as lightning, but it was almost the same affect.

Sometimes, Asa would come in to wake me up in the morning, and there would be black lines all about my room. She'd pretend she didn't see it. It wasn't that Mama Asa had a problem with mutants, but she wasn't prepared to deal with it. I learned that I wasn't either when I almost killed my best friend, Wendy, at a school bonfire.

I was 17 when that happened and holding in my powers hurt my joints. I took to wearing fingerless gloves and pretending I was an angsty skinhead. Asa tutted at this, but she understood. Especially when she'd bring dates around. She was only 26 when she took me in, so she was young, and very lonely.

Moving on, that was the year a dude named Professor Xavier paid us a visit. (I know, I said dude, but recalling my life puts me there, and I was that kid, the one who said DUDE! At everything.) He told Asa and I that he ran a school for gifted kids. He promised me I'd be trained to control everything, he talked about the blackout from a year ago and how he knew it was me, and he told me that my joints wouldn't hurt so much anymore with proper training. I remember that as he said this, I glanced at the painkillers in the kitchen I'd been downing for my joints. It was all legal, but it was a dependency I didn't want.

Asa didn't let me have a say, as she told this man who was offering me hope, no way in hell was she sending her only daughter, (coughadoptedcough) up to some New York school for mutants where I'd only be influenced to go crazy and cause more blackouts. Professor Xavier tried to assure her that I would receive a top education and be well skilled in my mutation. But Asa didn't budge and sent him on his way. As he left, he mentally told me that we would meet again.

I knew that Asa's real fear was that I would use my powers for bad, seeing as how she was a city cop and had seen just about anything, but I was also aware that Asa couldn't let me go just yet. So maybe I was a little thankful, after all, she took me in instead of having me live at an orphanage. She treated me like her flesh and blood, and while she'd had boyfriends, and even a fiancée, she'd never made it down the aisle, or found anyone that might be permanent, or at least, more permanent than I was. Still, I was that awkward teenager using her powers to her advantage, and I didn't let her forget that as we argued once Professor Xavier left.

That night, I caused a blackout on the entire city. Purposely.

From then on, I continued to keep my mutation a secret, but to piss Asa off; I'd only answer her if she called me Surge. Years later, as she was driving me around to look at apartments, I still only listened to that name.

I was 22 year old, just graduated from Drexel University, and ready to buy my own apartment where I could supply my own electricity and not have to worry about paying the bills. Asa was driving me around center city where we'd read about some open houses in the newer buildings. Asa didn't care about me having a mutation; safety to her was a doorman and mad self-protection classes at the Y.

She had promised a friend that she'd stop by and water her plants while she was away on her honeymoon. It's such a small job, and to think, everything that happened that day happened because this lady wouldn't let her plants die.

I remember we had been taking buses and walking to the places we could. I had my long hair in a ponytail, a read Phillies t-shirt on, jeans, and my black fingerless gloves on. I believe I was wearing black and white Nike sneakers, but I don't really know. I am trying to give you all the details, but its really difficult sometimes.

She had gone inside and I waited by a bench, distracted by a puppy a man had walked by with. When he passed me, I noticed something was strange. Call it some weird intuition, but I just new something was up in that apartment. It's like when you're listening to your iPod and you suddenly start thinking of another song randomly, and it is the next song that comes on.

I went into that house, and found Asa dead. Her throat had been slit, a crime that to me, a mutant, seemed so human. I remember the shock at seeing her, the top of the stairs, eyes open, staring at whatever it was that had done this to her. Suddenly I wished I had those powers to see inside her mind, to know what she had seen; to find out who did this to her.

Turns out, I didn't need the extra powers; the guy was still there, creeping up behind me. Before he could even put his knife to my throat I had reached behind him and grabbed him, shocked him, struck him. Gloves or no gloves, it hadn't mattered – the power had been so pent up inside of me, and I had so much emotion to put into it, it just flowed out of me. As I flipped him over me, he was almost unrecognizable, charred and burnt. He was just a squatter….that was all…a bum off the street with a knife who found out that this place would be vacant and decided to take it for granted.

I didn't care, and that scared me. It scared me that maybe Asa's fear had come true, and that I had done this horrible thing right in front of her cold, dead, eyes, watching everything.

I always wondered if there was a mutant who could see ghosts. If he could find Asa, did she see what happened? And what did she think? I closed her eyes and said a prayer, just as she would have had me do.

The shock of the moment didn't fade, but I knew I had to run. I didn't know how I could explain myself, how I could find any absolution. Could I fake my death? A kidnapping? Asa was a cop; everyone would be looking for me, looking for answers. No one knew of my mutation – so maybe Asa was right about that, but it had just saved my life.

Moving in shock – ironic for a human lightning rod – I found the lady's clothes and put on fresh jeans, shoes, t-shirt and sweatshirt. After digging through drawers I found leather gloves that I cut the fingers off of, though I wondered if maybe I'd be better without them, and put them on. I headed to the 30th street station and hopped on a train to New York. Professor Xavier had said he'd see me again. I wonder if he knew that this was the situation that we'd meet in?

The shock wore off on the train, as I cried for my lost mother - the last living soul who gave a damn if I lived or if I died. I cried for the warm blood that flowed over my hands when I held her in that lady's house. I imagined the police coming – I had dialed the number from Asa's phone and left it off the hook – and finding the burnt man and dead Asa. I imagined them searching this train for me now. I didn't care…I wasn't going to be a fugitive. Fleeing was just all I could think to do. But a voice in my head soothed me and told me I was headed in the right direction and that things were going to be ok.

As I drifted in and out of sleep, I worried I'd wake up in New York and have no memories of this, and that I'd lose even more of my life. But then I started to wonder, if I woke up, and kept these memories, what happened when I was little that was so bad that, 12 years later, I still couldn't recall any of it?

"_**When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground, it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall, it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a symbol or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain."**_

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Review, please! Noflames.

I'm aware that there is a Surge character already, but this is my surge. So, she's different. This chapter was just to put her at the school, it was kind of boring and I'm sorry. Hope you like it, and if so, I'll be glad to update ASAP. Thanks! This is my first X-Men story, so bear with me.

P.S. In this story, Jean and Scott are alive, and Hank is living at the mansion. I like those guys…sorta.


	2. Sometime Around Midnight

Disclaimer: I own nothing, nothing owns me.

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_"Don't arrange your life so that when you come to the middle of it, you'r_e alone."

It was past midnight when I finally walked up the stairs to the school. The cab dropped me off at the gates, with all my bags, and they opened as if I was expected. Oh, and I'm kidding about the bags I was empty handed, minus the wallet in my pocket, when I arrived. I could have grabbed my cell phone out of the car, but there were too many risks and my mind was preoccupied with – HELLO! – the double deaths I'd just been apart of.

And sure I needed my purse but it didn't have much important in it other than those Colgate wisp thingies, but it wasn't like I was going to randomly be making out with anyone, sooo why would I need them? No, my life was back in Philadelphia and I wanted to keep it there, even though a heavy cloud had engulfed me the moment I stepped off the train at Penn Station.

I went to knock on the door, but before I even could, it opened. There stood a red head in a silk robe and flip flops. Clearly she was waiting for me, holding a cup of coffee in her hand and wide-awake, despite the bed attire. "Come in." She said warmly, surprising me by handing me the mug of coffee. I was about to say I didn't like coffee when the smell made me realize it was a chai tea – an actual chai tea, waiting for me!

Surprised by her hospitality, I came in and let her shut the door. The house was dead silent, and since it was a school and a Monday night, that made sense. But it was July so I wondered if the kids just had a curfew or something. She spoke at a normal volume though, so I didn't think too much about the silence. "I'm Jean Grey, the Professor gave me a heads up about you coming. He said you'd be pretty shaken so, that is the reason for the tea."

She extended her hand and I shook it. I was about to ask how she knew I'd like Chai Tea when she answered it before I could speak. "The Professor and I are both telepaths, he is much more powerful than I am though, so he suggested the tea. He's waiting for you in his office, if you'll follow me."

"Wait…so you can-"

"Read your mind?" She smiled and turned to walk down a hallway. "Yes, but you'll quickly learn how to block me out. If not on your own, everyone will gladly tell you. I try to keep to myself, but, you know…curiosity and all of that."

I tried to smile, but since her back was to me, I figured it didn't matter that I failed. We were silent the rest of the way, and she showed me to an office with a fireplace and couch, where we both sat.

A door opened somewhere in the room and Xavier, just as I remembered him all those years ago, made his way into the room, wheels and all. He smiled at me and looked to Jean. She nodded in understanding and made her way out.

My strength had been drained from me hours ago, but it seemed it was just now that I becoming fully aware of it. The meeting with the professor was short, and if it wasn't, it just seemed that way because I wasn't 100% there for it. He basically told me that this place would be safe for me, he was offering me a room, and in turn I'd work for him, but he explained, he'd get into that in the later, after I'd had time to rest.

I don't know why this place was supposed to be so safe for me, considering I was probably wanted for murder. But the professor insisted, saying that he had sent his team to take care of it. Whatever that meant. I figured I should just ask questions later, and pass out in the room he was offering me, but it was in that moment when the door burst open.

In walked a gruff looking man, whose hair could only be described as…well, have you ever heard of Flock of Seagulls? Or maybe you've seen the Wedding Singer, where the guy dresses like Flock of Seagulls? No? Well. His hair was styled in a way that was almost…well his overall appearance, I suppose, was rather wolf-like.

Huh. There are some things in life you just don't think you'll ever say, and then, you have every reason to say them.

After him came another man who was wearing sunglasses that resembled those Oakley's people wore in the 80s, with the bright colored lenses, making eye contact impossible, came in. I hate those more then anything. I need to see someone's eyes when I'm talking to them, unless I'm wearing glasses. Otherwise, its just like they're watching me and judging me, and it freaks me out.

Both guys were dressed casually, but by the way the wolf guy entered the room, they seemed in a hurry. "We got rid of the evidence, but it wasn't easy." The wolf guy said.

"Says the guy who can't handle house pets." 80S Oakley replied.

"She had cats." Wolf shrugged, looking from 80s Oakley to the professor, and finally, his eyes resting on me.

"Logan, please mind your manners. We have guests." Xavier said. 80s Oakley pushed past him and walked up to me, extending his hand.

"I'm Scott, or Cyclops, " He said, gesturing to his sunglasses, "Its for the mutation." He continued, explaining the terrible glasses.

"Logan." The other man said, nodding at me. But apparently he didn't like the look he got from the professor, because he stepped foreword to shake my hand as well. "Sometimes I go by Wolverine." He said, quite stubbornly, it seemed. I shook his hand and finally spoke, "Sometimes? What times are those?"

"When I'm about to hurt so-"

"Logan, shut up." Scott butted in, "don't play all terrifying wolf man in front of the new girl. Sorry, he likes to scare the crap out of everyone around him." He shrugged. Logan made some sort of growling noise and backed up. "We get to tell you our names, and you don't have to?"

"I'm…" I paused. Do I tell them my name is Surge? Or am I Piper? I hadn't thought about it. Suddenly I was having an identity crisis, and it wasn't going unnoticed.

"I hadn't realized I asked a hard question." Logan snapped. Sheesh, no wonder they called this pleasant guy Wolverine.

Xavier, who had been silent all this time, made his way over to his desk. "I'm Piper Kirby…or Surge."

Being smart, I knew Logan was going to be an ass and ask "or Surge? When is it Surge?" and he did. But I cut him off. "Oh yeah they call me Surge when I'm about to hurt-" No one stopped me. They didn't need to. And it didn't matter that I was only repeating what Logan had just said. Memories of the day came back to me – surging – back to me. I must've made a face, or had a strong thought, because the professor spoke up.

"Perhaps we should continue introductions in the morning. Scott, please show her to her room. There is an empty room across from Ororo. In the morning, we'll give you a proper tour."

I followed 80s Oakley…sorry, Scooter, sorry again – Scott, into the hallway to my room.

I lay in bed wondering over everything. I never had trouble sleeping in a new place. Jean had stopped by and leant me a pair of silky pajamas, nicer than any pair I had at home. Black bottoms and a button down top, but I just kept the shirt on I'd been wearing all day. And I at least had the TV on to comfort me, but it didn't work. I wasn't sure what to do to stop the thoughts – the pain. I had solutions in my mind, nothing permanent, but ideas that could help. I just didn't have the energy to even carry them out.

In high school, I was one of those tragic kids who had hurt herself on purpose when things got rough. In college, I purposely burnt myself once to help stop the pain. But it wasn't because I wanted solutions; it was because it was a reminder. I wanted scars so that I'd be sure I'd remember. And after forgetting so much it seemed logical. Then one day, I tried to do it, and I couldn't anymore. I couldn't tolerate it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I cured myself and I hadn't even wanted to.

But here, in this strange place, I knew I couldn't do it. The thought was comfort enough, and I suppose that was all that matter. Just because I didn't do the act anymore, didn't mean I didn't think about it. These thoughts followed me around until I collapsed in bed with fatigue, dreaming of blood.

There was a pounding on a door, and a glance at the bedside clock told me it was 11 am. I always slept in on weekends, but usually on weekdays I was very good about this sort of thing, you know, being up by 9. I glanced around the room I had only seen in the dark the previous night. It was nice, and the bed was comfy. Maybe this place wouldn't be too bad.

And then, like they do, memories of the day before shocked me like a bucket of cold water. I shook my head and pried myself out of bed. Mid afternoon…that's when it all hurts the most.

I opened the door and a grey haired lady was there. She kind of freaked me out, to be honest, because she was young looking, but her short gray hair was…different. I liked it though. And any concerns I had disappeared when her cheery voice said, "Good morning! Sorry about the pounding, but you didn't seem to respond to the lighter knocking."

"Yeah, I was really out…" I shrugged, not allowing myself to say any more. She smiled warmly, and actually hugged me. "Welcome to the institute. I'm Ororo, but a lot of people actually call me Storm. That's what I do – I'm a weather witch. Just like it sounds."

"Yeah…" I said again. She was going to think I was really dull and boring and not articulate and then I'd be a bad representation of Philly. But that was ok for now.

"I heard a rumor that you had no clothes, if you're up for it, we can head out to the mall. But first, breakfast and tour? People around here are fascinated by newcomers, so…heads up."

"Thanks. I don't know…" The truth was, I didn't want to see anyone or be introduced to anyone else. I wanted to go back home and sleep in my bed, log on to twitter, and hug my mom. And if that was too much, I wanted to go back to Philly, get my own apartment, interview for that job at the Philadelphia Inquirer, and attend my mother's funeral. I wanted to open the door for the deliveryman, asking if this was the right place and tell him, yes, this is the Lawler residence and that I had been receiving flowers from mourners all week. I wanted to pick out a black outfit and wear it for weeks and let the earth swallow me until the grave was green and then I could move on.

Instead, I was in New York.

Xavier said I couldn't attend the funeral that, even though everything was "taken care of" whatever that meant, me being there would possibly blow my whole cover. I hated not being able to be there.

Storm lent me clean clothes, black jeans and a white tee that said, "Follow the leader – Team Building Exercise '08" on it – whatever, and I pulled my hair back into a ponytail. I needed a shower but I felt bad, since she'd clearly been waiting for me to get up. We went into the kitchen where Scooter –yeah, private nickname – was making an omelet for Jean, who was sitting at the counter.

I had a bagel and Storm introduced me to a southern girl named Rogue and her boyfriend Bobby. There was another girl there, quite bubbly, named Kitty and a fire head named Pyro. These kids had no identity issues; they knew their names better than I did.

So…ok…the only way to describe the next scene is like…when you're at a mall and there is a train display and the train comes out of the wall and then goes back into the wall. Logan and some purple haired girl, she in the lead, came through the kitchen arguing with each other, and then out again, the sounds of their yelling filling the hallways.

Pyro laughed and Rogue glared at him, "Oh shut up John. Just cuz you don't understand relationships."

"That's what you call a relationship? Looks more like a hit and run to me." He laughed some more and Bobby joined in. Storm passed me the cream cheese and we sat down at the counter next to Jean. "Sorry you had to see that, Piper, but that's the daily train wreck you'll find around here." AH, so my example wasn't so off.

"What Scott is trying to say is…well, that's a typical thing. Did you sleep alright?" Jean asked, testing the eggs out. It looked horrible, but she seemed to like it.

"Want one?" Scott offered, starting another one up for himself.

"Nah," I say, gesturing to my bagel. "Who was-" I'm about to ask, but in walks the purple haired girl.

"Hiya!" She says, loudly – too loudly – and rushes over to me. "I'm Lucy. I just wanted to introduce myself, since I just ran past you so rudely ten seconds ago."

"Uh…" I managed, sticking out my hand, which she shook. "I'm Piper."

"Sorry to be so brief, but I gotta head out and deal with…this…" she waved her arms around. "Nice meeting you, Piper!" She called, running out the door.

It was silent in the kitchen, until I blurted out, "I thought your name was Storm, but I feel like I just got hit by a hurricane."

Kitty agreed and grabbed Rogue's arm, "We're going to the pool." Before Scott could argue that there wouldn't be a lifeguard on duty, the girls fell through the floor.

"Woah…" I managed.

"Kitty will do that." Bobby said, as he and Pyro got up and took the long way, I'm guessing, to the pool.

"About Lucy…yes, she's like that. She doesn't actually live here though," Storm went on, "She works in Chicago, on a mutant justice league, mostly working court cases. That might explain the arguing – she's always arguing – and usually with Logan."

"Are they dating or not?" Scott asked, "I've never seen a more confusing relationship."

Jean looked deep in thought, "Not." She said finally. "When Lucy is in town, they hang out and fight and when she leaves it like she wasn't here."

Scott shakes his head at this, "How can one man be so disconnected from the world? God forbid he feels something."

Jean glared at him, "Scott, stop it, don't influence our newcomer like that."

Storm rolled her eyes, "Like she wouldn't learn eventually?"

I sat there, and I realized, since my whole time here, not one person even asked what my abilities were….

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Revewi, please?? Noflames,thank you.

Hope you guys like it…I'm really happy with the feedback from the first chapter, so I'm posting again. Any thin you guys would like to see? Or any ideas?


	3. Toxicity

So, I mean to update this last night, but we had a really bad storm and had no internet. So I wrote some more and…here you go! Also…yes, Pipers still a bit quiet, but just wait til the next chapter…

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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"_In the end   
Everyone ends up alone  
Losing her  
The only one who's ever known   
Who I am   
Who I'm not, who I wanna be  
No way to know  
__How long she will be next to me"_

The purple haired girl, Lucy, had style, I had to give her that, but all the yelling was getting on my nerves. I had gone shopping with Storm and Jean and got a new wardrobe – thank you life savings – and had gotten a tour of the whole school. It was 6:30 and we were making out way to the pool when we heard the yelling again. Lucy was screaming and Logan was yelling.

I wanted silence for my thoughts or at least alone time, and I tried that when we got back, but apparently Logan's room is right by mine, so I heard everything! And they were the stupidest arguments I've ever heard too. "You threw the trash out? I LEFT MY HAIR BRUSH IN THERE!" Lucy would yell – or I would assume it was her, since the pitch was so high. And Logan would yell back, "Why the hell would your hairbrush BE IN THE TRASH!" And then and argument would break out over respect of property and blah blah blah. So when Jean knocked on my door and said she was going for a swim, I didn't hesitate to get out. Plus, something about the water calmed me down.

I found a cute one piece at Delia's with black polka dots on it, and I figured since it was a school that a one piece was a good choice, so I put that on. I grabbed my towel and headed out with her. Jean and Storm were both nice and friendly, but it was obvious Xavier said something to them about not asking questions. In fact, the whole school seemed to know not to ask questions, because no one asked where I was from, or if I had murdered anyone in the past 24 hours.

Perhaps I should be thankful, and I guess I was. I was thankful for a lot actually, because slowly it was all hitting me, dawning on me – Asa was dead. She wasn't coming back. I'd never see her again, and the last thing I had to remember her by was a memory of her with her throat slit, bleeding into-no, no, no….

I dove into the water to stop the thoughts. I had been running from them, doing my best, but I knew eventually it would all hit me. But I've learned that with death, sometimes the truth doesn't hit you right away. The full impact of forever doesn't process fully for a little while. Regardless, I had to do my best to be ok, for right now. And tonight, when I went to bed, I'd collapse and cry and realize the truth.

"Piper? Hey! Piper?" I surfaced to find Lucy leaning over the edge of the pool, hands on her knees, smiling. "Gah, I thought you were about to pop out some gills and live down there."

"I wish." I mumbled, swimming closer to her. I noticed Jean and Scott were play fighting by the waterfall and felt a ting of jealousy. But that was a whole list of thoughts down a road I couldn't go right at this moment, so I turned my attention back to Lucy.

"Right, well, I just wanted to say its nice to meet you. I'm heading out in the morning, back to Chicago."

"Wow, I barely met you and you're leaving."

"I know! But that's life, isn't it? So here's the thing, I know how it can get crazy here, and if you're anything like me, escape's can be good. Lord knows I can only come for weeks at a time. Logan and other factors just drive me mad. And maybe you'll never grow tired, but hell, everyone needs a great escape every now and then – so I just thought I'd let you know, you ever need it, you can gimme a call and I've got a futon that's perfect for crashing."

"Wow, Lucy that's extremely nice, and we've barely spoken to each other besides introductions. I…I don't know what to say." I was really taken aback by this offer from her.

"Eh, don't think too much into it. I just know what its like, coming to a strange place and being told its your new home. I made it here a whole month and ½ before I got the offer to head out West to Illinois. I took it as fast as I could, and I figured, you being the new girl and all, you really don't know what to expect, do ya?"

I swallowed, "I guess not." She actually made my kind of angry. But maybe I wasn't angry at her so much, as I was angry at what she said. What if it were true? Had I come here, hoping to find a new home?

"Xavier could easily get you my number, should you need it. And remember, the offer is always there. And don't go worrying that It'll be weird because we barely know each other – it'd be weird either way," She added, laughing, "we are mutants after all. "

"Well, yeah, hey thank, Lucy."

"No worries, and it was nice to meet you." She stood up straight and went to say her goodbyes again, while I, on the other hand, simply sunk back to the bottom of the pool, wishing I did indeed have a mutation that allowed me to breathe underwater.

Maybe it was ok that I didn't though.

I had just gotten out of the shower and sprawled out on my bed in my new purple Bermuda short pj's, and grey Old Navy t-shirt; ready to pass out for bed. But thoughts came before sleep, and I was remembering, just as I knew I would. I sobbed, cried, and even screamed into my pillow. I didn't lay like a normal person, I felt that I was so upset that it was normal to put my head at the opposite end of the bed and bring my pillow there to cry. I had turned on the TV to the weather station so that I wouldn't be loud.

Not knowing how long I cried, feeling like I was a little child, I turned away sucking in oxygen. Asa Lawler, the woman who I've known as a mother my whole life – kind of literally – is gone. I head her bleeding head, stared at her cold, dead eyes, and left her there.

These thoughts paralyzed me until I had exhausted myself to the point of passing out.

Waking up with my internal alarm at 5:30, I threw on running shoes and snuck outside. I recalled Storm telling me that there were paths all over the woods, and not caring if I got lost. Calmer then the previous night, I headed out for a run, one of the best ways I could think of to relax and empty my head so that when I faced that day I wouldn't shatter and make a fool of myself.

Suddenly I heard something and I slowed down. I had been running for about 20 minutes and felt like my lungs were going to explode. I caught my breath and walked slower, towards the noise, following the path.

As I came closer, I noticed two figures, standing and fighting. Not shouting, but clearly in a dispute. I realized it was Logan and Lucy and I was clearly interrupting. For a second, I thought about hiding, but then I recalled Storm mentioning Logan had heightened senses. He probably already knew I was there.

"I don't care what you think, you're not in charge of me. You have no say in my life anymore!" Lucy was saying.

"And you care if our new guest hears how selfish you're being?" Logan said, not taking his eyes off of her but nodding towards me. Lucy swallowed and turned to me, pasting the smile back on her face.

"Piper! So good to see you."

"Sorry." I said, walking closer to them, "I was just going on a run and…happened to pass by." What a lame excuse.

"Its all cool here, Logan and I were done anyways. See ya later." She brushed past me and went down the trail I just came from.

I think I'm supposed to run in place now, or just keep going, but I couldn't seem to make my feet move. Logan watched her leave, then turned his attention to me. Before he could say anything, I blurted out, "What evidence did you take care of, the other night?"

A look of surprise crossed his face, but was replaced with one of pain. He looked like he didn't want to have to say what he knew, so I spoke for him.

"Oh." Well…I mean, what did you expect?

"I'm sorry." He said. He seemed to genuinely mean it, but I didn't really know how to respond.

"Is that what you do on this…team? You take care of evidence when things don't…when things…."

"We help mutants out, yeah, sometimes. Xavier had found out what happened and sent us out right away. Don't worry-" He started to say, about to try to comfort me with details, but I cut him off.

"So you know, you all know…That's why no one has been bothering me about my mutation? Or about where I come from?"

Startled, he replied, "Well, most of the kids just assume the professor asked you to join the team or teach. As for your mutation, they just think its something like mind reading and that's why they haven't seen it."

"I mean the people who aren't students here. The adults?"

"I haven't said anything." He scratched his head, "But Scott on the other hand, well, he IS dating a mind reader. Things spread fast around here…"

I took a step back, and turned away from him, concentrating on my breathing. I wanted to take off again, but I was somewhat afraid to leave this moment. I was getting answers for the first time since being here. Answers to questions I hadn't bothered to ask, but answers all the same.

"What can you do?" I said finally, after moments of silence, and I turned back to him finally. He had walked closer to me when I turned around. Was he going to offer me some kind of awkward hug or pat on the back? Well, guess not now.

"Like no ones told you? Remember I'm the one who told you that things spread."

"Fine. So you have claws. And really good senses. And you're strong. But…" And cute, and I never looked at your eyes before this moment, and I kind of like the way your voice sounds. I wish you didn't come off as such a brute when I first met you, and I wish I could try having a normal conversation with you, one not about my past and your mutation. But , I barely know you, and looks aren't everything, besides, what could we have in common anyways? "Can I at least see them?"

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." Was his reply, and slowly, three silver blades extended from him knuckles on each hand….

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lol corny last line, but yeah, had to go in there cuz...well i wanted to put it in. Hope you liked it!! I'll probably update tomorrow night or Tuesday at the latest...if you guys want me to, that is.

Review please!! Noflames.


	4. Butting heads with a butt head

The song in the last chapter was by The Fray and it was "You Found Me". I love that band….sooo much. Anways, thanks for the great reviews!! Here's another chapter, I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**This is a list of what I should have been**

**But I'm not**

**This is a list of the things that I should have seen**

**But I'm not seeing**

**I'm just turning away from where I should have been**

**Because I am not anything**

**Oh, anything, oh**

_(Counting Crows – Cowboys)_

"Well…wow…" I said, leaning towards them and reaching out. I ran my fingers along the top one of the blades, willing it to slice me easily, like paper, willing him to be just as strong as I am. They weren't what I was picturing in my head. When Storm mentioned the whole claws thing, I imagined there weird nail like things…but these were so much bigger, scarier looking, sharper, and…intriguing. Ok, there, I said it.

They showed me something though, as I touched them. They made him automatically appear tough, or strong. Strong when you don't want to be – strong when you don't need to be. Maybe my finger slipped, or maybe I just wasn't concentrating, but as I felt towards the bottom of the blade, I gasped.

He made what could only be described as a growling noise, pulling the claws in fast, a swishing noise as they disappeared into his skin. There on the tip of my finger a drop of blood fell to the ground.

"Oh, they're not real, they're actually cardboard." He said, rather smartly, seeming annoyed. Sympathetic Logan had disappeared.

"I didn't…I'm sorry. Guess I should be more careful around other peoples mutations." I said the last part with sarcasm, but he ignored it by rolling his eyes.

"Your turn."

Ok. Ready, Surge? RUN! I said to myself, but again, my feet would not move. I hadn't used my powers since that day. And it was partly out of fear, but part of me was worried that if I didn't use them, I'd shoot through the roof, leaving all of New York in a blackout.

Licking my lips and looking at his shoes, I thought about it. Control was key here; cause if I messed this up, then the whole forest might burn. Deep breath, and…Surge.

Just like that, the power came out slowly, across the floor of the forest first, then up the trees. I was doing it! I was controlling it! Yes! There was hope aft-SNAP!

Out of nowhere, a stronger shock came out of me, visibly, light lightning, striking the tree, leaving a huge diagonal where the bark was. Like this / really.

My face crumpled, and I had failed.

Logan went over to it, and felt it with his hand. "It's hot isn't it?" I asked, stepping closer, but not half as close as him.

"Yep. Impressive." He whipped out the blades on his right and made a sweeping motion across the tree. Stepping back to admire his work, he nodded, and said, "Good, now everyone will know, Wolverine & Surge were here."

When I looked over, there was a huge X on the tree.

Ugh.

He turned towards me, "You done running, wanna head back?"

"No." I said, but as I started walking along the trail he followed. I should have started running then, as was the definition of a run, but instead I just walked fast with him next to me.

"You know that wasn't the first time I've seen the result of…what you're capable of." He didn't say this like a question, more like he already knew the answer.

"So then you should understand why I'm not so eager to use these abilities of mine."

"You can't let your past hold you back." As he said this, he picked up the pace. I followed suite and caught up with him.

"Some might say, but I heard a rumor that you didn't even know your past." I pointed out. He looked over at me, annoyed, but kept going. "What? Like you said, there are no secrets in this place."

"I remember enough to learn from. I don't count, anyways." Now we were running, and I suddenly hated running. Hated the feeling of thirst in my mouth, the heaving of my lungs, the weight of my body on my legs and they pushed me foreword. I just wanted to stop.

"Ok, so you hate your mutation. Get the cure then."

I found this as the perfect excuse to stop, and so I did. He looked back at me, and stopped as well and we resumed walking. I kind of needed him not to leave me, since I didn't know where I was. I didn't really care when I first came out if I got lost. But getting lost with Logan was a different thing entirely.

"I don't want to get rid of it. Its not that…it's just…its scary, ok? I didn't mean to do…well you saw what happened. It wasn't what I meant to do. It terrifies me, to be honest, that I can do that to another person. I don't hate it at all…I like that I can lie around and control all the utilities – minus the bathroom – of a whole house when I'm lazy. I like having a nightlight whenever I feel like it. I like the way the electricity looks as it comes out of me – and I love the buzzing feeling that I get from it. But to be able to kill…so easily, so accidentally…that's the worst feeling in the world. I've never been more scared of myself.

And what about you? For all you know, I could have hit you back there and killed you. Oh wait, I forgot, you can heal, right? Still. You would have felt it. And then every time I saw you I'd have to hide because you're the one who knows how bad I can hurt people and live to tell about it. Plus you're made of metal – that can't be good for either of us.

That's just you. Imagine other mutants, other people. I don't know what I can do or how to stop. And I don't know why the professor invited me here in the first place. It's a school! Full of children! I could and probably will end up accidentally destroying us all!" I stopped my ramble, breathing hard.

Logan looked a little stunned, as if he didn't know I was capable of ranting like that, or of having those thoughts and feelings. And how could he know that? I barely know the guy. But still…

Still what? Here I was blathering on about the worst thoughts I have – some of them anyways – while he wasn't saying anything. He'd probably go back to the school and tell everyone about it all and they'd have a good laugh. Oh look, the new mutant is insecure.

"It is wonderful. You should like it – hell, you should love it. Normal people would kill to be able to do what you do. They are experimenting on mutants all over the world, and even some humans, to give them the abilities you were born with. To get rid of them? Well now, that would be the worst thing you could do.

I think you need to train. That's what I think. And you need to join the team."

"The team? What is it with this stupid team? You clear out dead bodies and cover tracks. Good for you." I snapped, putting my hands on my hips.

"Yeah, we help mutants – but we work so that no mutant has to go through the shit you went through 3 days ago. And that should motivate you enough to join us, your past."

"You don't know me. You only saw what happened. But you don't really know my past or me. So don't judge me by it. I'm not joining your stupid team."

"Because you're afraid?"

"Yes! I've already announced that! What more do you want?"

"I told you." He said, seriously, as he walked over to me. We were now face to face, as he said, "Train. Join the team. Become an X-man."

"Uh, no. Teams aren't my thing. I do much better at destroying things on my own, okay? Thanks."

"Look, I was once just like you. In fact, I used to make fun of people who believed in the whole, join the team thing. I even said that statement once, mocking someone. Probably Scott. But the point it, its not about that sappy stuff. It's about having someone to make sure you don't destroy everyone. Let alone destroy yourself. All we ask is that you join us on missions. Besides, it'd be good for you…you can exercise your powers and do good in the world."

"Oh screw you." I shoved him and walked away. Hey, I did have anger issues!

"I hated it too, at first. But I didn't have a choice in whether or not I wanted to help. So I did. And somehow I ended up being happy here. We're not all Lucys, ok? You better be careful. Because if you're not, and you end up liking it here, what then? You're not gonna be apart of the team, so how are you gonna be happy here? You think the professor lets people just crash on the couch, without lifting a finger in return?"

"The screw you I just said was to signal the conversation was over! And another thing, Xavier didn't even mention the team to me yet, so for all you know maybe he had something else in mind. And I'm not like Lucy – I don't hate it here," I looked him up and down, "yet. In fact I like _almost_ everyone. " I started to walk away.

"You have no solid reasons for not joining our team."

"You're giving me reasons! I'd have to be around you! You, who stayed out here talking to me about everything like maybe you gave a damn, cared about what I had gone through, but all you're doing is pushing the team. You're selling something and I'm not buying. You don't care about how I feel or my mutation. All you care about is that I'd make a good fighter for you team. So once again – SCREW. YOU."

I jogged off the, staying on the trail. He didn't follow thankfully.

I kept replaying our conversation for the rest of my run. The trail ended up looping – that is, if you stayed on it. There were loads of side trails, but I kept on the one most traveled. I know, Robert Frost would punch me in the Ovaries if he knew that, but whatever.

How could I have just blurted all my thoughts out to him like that, when I had no reason to think he'd care? After all, all he was after was me joining this stupid team of X-Men. Xavier's men? Whatever. Not worth it in anyway. Maybe Xavier would ask me for rent, or maybe he would just kick me out. I'd deal with that when the time came, _if _the time came.

The last thing on my mind was training up and joining some team. What, do they get really cool jackets? Was Logan on commission, and if he got me to join he's get a rare T-Bone steaks for a week? So insensitive!

I shouldn't have even opened my mouth up. It was my fault. Why did I think this guy who – last time I actually conversed with him – was an asshole? And now, knowing that when he met me, he had just seen…everything, he still acted that way? Well that brought me to a whole new level of angry. But at the same time, I had to direct some of it back at myself. I knew that he acted that way and still spoke.

I had to though. I had to talk to someone. I had not talked since it happened, and I thought I just didn't know what to say. Turns out I had too much to say. Well, what does it matter? It's done now.

Ahhh, see? Running really does calm me! I just have to avoid Logan forever now, and when I do run into him, throw him extremely dirty looks. There. Problemo el solvedo.

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And there you have it…Am bored this week, will probably post again soon. I've no nightlife with my new job, since I have to wake up early. Any road…Review please!! Noflames, thanks.


	5. Passing Afternoon

Thanks for all the lovely reviews!!! Here's more…hope you like it…

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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I said, Mama, Mama, Mama,  
Why am I so alone?  
I can't go outside  
I'm scared I might not make it home  
I'm alive but I'm sinking in  
If there's anyone at home at your place  
Why don't you invite me in?  
Don't try to bleed me  
I've been there before and I deserve a little more

_(Rain King – Counting Crows)_

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The rest of the week flew by, and after convincing Storm to take me to a Barnes & Nobles, I found a Philadelphia Newspaper and an entire article on Asa. It was a tribute, beautifully written. Her funeral was to be Saturday, it said, and that if you wished to send flowers, they were to go to Joseph Tompkins, her best friend and partner. I was jealous of the author, thinking that it should have been my job. But that wasn't the point, or my main thought. I tore it out of the paper and hid it in my pocket when Storm came over and we decided it was time to head out and hit up the movies.

Storm had become a great companion for me. Ok, sorry, that made her sound like a dog. But she really was great, and she was a great listener. After I blew up on Logan that day in the woods, I realized I should be talking more about what is going on inside my head. So when Storm knocked on my door that afternoon, I told her everything. Well mostly everything. By Friday though, she did know everything.

I told her about my parents, and not remembering. I told her how Asa made me keep my mutation to myself. I told her that I held Asa's dead body and that I was terrified of my powers. She even knew all about the blowout between Logan and I. Storm was a great friend in a way that I couldn't describe. She agreed that he shouldn't push me to join the team, though she admitted it would be good for me, and the team. But she understood when I said no. She even started throwing Logan dirty looks if I were ever in the room when he was.

She told me things too. Like how she fell in love with a normal person from the city, and how they were secretly dating. His name was Tony and she was falling hard for him. She told me how Jean and Scott were cute together, but that she had there doubts about them. She told me the history of the school, the truth about everyone and things that happened. How Logan didn't like the idea of the team, like he'd told me, but that when Rogue needed him, he joined up.

Things were looking better for me. I was still getting over everything, but each day wasn't so hard to live. It had only been a week, but I was slowly dealing with everything. There was just one thing I needed to do, and that involved saying goodbye on the day of the funeral.

It was 9am on Saturday, and Storm had agreed to take me to a police memorial she knew of where I could say goodbye in my own way. I waited for her in the garage for a ½ hour and she never showed. It was really weird for me because Logan was already in the garage, working on his motorcycle the whole time. We didn't acknowledge each other.

Using the Blackberry Xavier gave me, I texted her, and finally, called her. Logan walked over just as it went to voicemail.

"She ain't comin'." He said, gruff voice and all.

"She isn't coming, use proper English – you are at a school after all. And what would you know?" Actually, it was kind of cute that he said ain't and comin' without the g. I liked that about him. It ended there, trust me.

"Xavier sent her and Jean out to look for some kid. Pretty last minute."

"Great." I mumbled.

I looked around at the cars, not knowing if it would be out of line to take one.

"Don't." Logan said, reading my thoughts, "You get pulled over, and you'll be taken in. It's only been a week, after all."

I had wondered what my alibi was exactly, since I could go out into public. But I didn't ask.

"Guess I'm walking then." I said. I had put on a black pair of dress pants, black boots and a black long lacey shirt. Not see through lacey, because there was another equally black layer under it. But it kind of looked like a shorter, (if possible) version of the Gwyneth Paltrow dress she wore to the Iron Man premier. I had my hair in a half ponytail, and a backpack with a letter I wrote in it. We were planning on stopping somewhere to get flowers.

"Guess you are." He walked past me as I headed out, but he stopped and looked at me. "You really are gonna just walk? You'd rather walk than ask me for a ride?"

"You don't even know where I'm going." I spat, stopping.

"There wouldn't happen to be a funeral today, would there?"

I shifted the weight of my bag. "Not that it's your business, but I'm not supposed to attend. We were just going to go to the police memorial up in…"

"You don't even know where it is."

"I can hail a cab."

"Right." He paused. "Just ask me for a ride."

"You gonna say yes?"

'Yeah. And it's going to, actually. Use proper English, you are at a school."

I rolled my eyes and bit back my retort. "Will you please give me a ride to the memorial? And stop at a flower shop along the way?"

He smiled, "Not so bad, was it? Come on." He pulled out a helmet and handed it to me.

Ignoring the fact that he probably had ulterior motives, I took the helmet and stared at the bike. "It's not going to bite you."

"I know that, sheesh. I just…its my first time." I blushed immediately, realizing what I said.

He did a double take a smirked, "I bet it is."

"Shut up, I meant on a motorcycle. Not that anything of that nature is your business."

"Of course its not, unless you make it my business."

"Blah blah blah. Lets go!" I hopped on the back of the bike, grabbing onto the handles behind me.

"Uh-uh." He said, reaching behind himself, grabbing my arms, and putting them on his own waist. Before I could even think about this gesture, he took off out of the garage, the speed making me hold on even tighter.

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The ride was a long one, so I was grateful that I had gotten a ride, even if it was with the seemingly morally corrupt Wolverine. I had a lot of time to think too, as the trees whizzed past us. I kept trying as hard as I could not to picture certain memories or think certain things.

I'm not referring to the day Asa died, but rather, our life, memories of growing up as Asa's daughter. Good memories, like going to the drive in with her and dinning at the trendy restaurants in the City. But horrible memories, too, like screaming at her when I didn't get my way, being embarrassed by her when she'd ask questions in public that I thought were dumb, and random memories, like introducing her to my first boyfriend and having her recognizing him because she'd busted him speeding.

Like I said, I was doing everything in my power not to think of all of this, failing, but still. I wanted to be alone, someplace quiet, and then I wanted to remember all of this stuff. So, as we rode off, I sang any song I could remember words to in my head to distract myself. I was stuck on "O Come All Ye Faithful" when we pulled up to a roadside market with fruits, vegetables, and some premade bouquets of flowers. Nothing fancy like lilies, roses, or anything, but Asa didn't love those kinds of flowers anyways.

In fact, back at our apartment in Philli, even though we were on the 9th floor, she made sure there were flowers on our terrace at all times.

He stopped the bike and neither of us moved. "You can ease up on your death grip now." He commented. Realizing I was still clutching him, I let go and the moment quickly passed.

We didn't speak as I picked out a plastic pot full of mums – a favorite of hers, especially around Easter time –paid, and walked back to the bike. Logan was leaning against it, studying his surroundings.

"How much further…I don't really know how to ride and juggle plants at the same time." I gestured to the pink-foiled pot as I stood next to the bike.

"Down the road. Just put it between us and we should be fine." We got on the bike and rode away, stopping only at the gates of a huge field.

The place was strange, an iron gate was opened and inside there were small statues and flowers at random spots, but no graves. Straight ahead, where the iron fences met, there was a black wall that looked to have names engraved on it.

He parked the bike and we hopped off, standing there awkwardly. I wasn't about to invite him to come with me, but I couldn't exact say "Ok bye!" either. Besides, what was my plan? Where was I supposed to put the pot? The pouty kid in me came out as I thought of all the ways that this WASN'T Philadelphia nor was it Asa's funeral.

Logan turned back towards his bike, not looking at me as he spoke, "Look I'm going to…go…"

"Maybe you should…"

We were both speaking at the same time. What was I thinking coming here with him? As if I hadn't already made myself vulnerable enough, ranting to him the other day in the woods, there was a 98% chance I was going to be crying soon. I didn't need to let him see that either.

"We passed a bar on our way here. I should probably…check it out. Make sure the beer is…good quality."

I felt myself making a strange face at him, you know, eyebrows knitting together, lips grimacing; a confused look. "Uh…ok. But…drinking and-"

"I'm a grown man, Surge, I can handle an hour at a bar."

Rolling my eyes, I nodded. "Fine. So, an hour then?"

He looked at the ground, then back at me, with a serious look on his face. "You know if…do you want…me to stay?" Our eyes met, and I think I saw genuine sympathy.

"Logan, I appreciate you driving me out here. Taking your day like this…and I appreciate this offer. I do. But I just want to be alone for this thing…"

It was obvious that this is what he was hoping to hear, as he visibly relaxed, and nodded. "Alright, well the offer is there. Back in an hour."

And just like a bat out of hell, he got on his bike and drove off, fast, in case I would suddenly change my mind.

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hope you liked it! Review, pleasee!! Noflames, thanks.


	6. I Hate This Part

Thanks for all the lovely reviews! I've got lots planned for the next couple of chapters, as for the whole Piper/Logan moving foreward and such…hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_But everytime I reach for you_

_You slip through my fingers_

_Into cold sunlight_

_Laughing at the things_

_That I had planned_

_The map of my world gets_

_Smaller as I sit here_

_Pulling at the loose threads now_

_(Keane - Spiraling)_

This was supposed to be a memorial, a goodbye, me letting go of everything. But it wasn't like I thought it would be at all. There was nothing familiar, and I felt unconnected to everything. I circled the grounds, studying the flowers, the little plaques, but I wasn't crying yet. I felt too disconnected. It shouldn't have been that way, either. The day was dreary – not raining – but dreary enough to keep anyone else from visiting. I found that strange, but I was thankful for the peace and quiet all the same.

When I'd reached the wall, and ran my fingers over the names, I felt nothing. But still, I put the flowers, and my note down, next to some others by it. Reading the names, I searched for any that could possibly be familiar, and suddenly, I'd struck gold.

**Richard Lawler**

And under that

**Geoffrey Lawler**

**Tabitha Lawler**

Asa told me that being a cop had run in the family, but skipped her father's generation. I wasn't naïve, I knew Lawler was a common name, but still…this was like a silver lining to the black cloud that had become my life.

And so, I had become connected to this place. And I cried. And I even said a few words. I had imagined if I'd been at her real funeral, I'd have been asked to speak, and so I said the things that I imagined I'd be saying, except I got to make it more personal and say things I wouldn't say in front of a church full of people.

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Before I knew it, the hour had gone up. I cleaned myself up pretty well, and headed back to the gate where I was going to wait for Logan. I felt like I was putting on a mask, because honestly, I didn't really feel like I was done saying my goodbye. And while I had realized that I didn't have to be at the actual funeral to do so, I did realize that I needed more time.

He pulled up just as I pulled on my sunglasses. Typical of me, huh?

Logan smelled just like a bar, I'm sorry, but I couldn't help but notice it. Cigars, beers, stale sweaty men who spend Saturday afternoons in shady roadside bars – what? Just sayin'. It was a good smell…it was like a memory to me of something that I couldn't put my finger on.

"You ready?" He said it full of questioning, not matter of factly. "We can go somewhere else, if you'd like."

I didn't know what to think of this offer. I assumed he was just being friendly because he felt obligated, but honestly, I didn't want to go back to the school just yet. I knew what was waiting for me there – an empty lonely room. He shouldn't have offered, I figured, if he didn't want me to say yes. And besides, an awkward uncomfortable afternoon with Logan felt better then a lonely one spent in my room, especially on today, of all days.

"Well." I bit my bottom lip, "what's that bar like?"

"No offense, Surge, and I know I don't know you that well – let alone know what you're like when you've had a few in you – but experience tells me that alcohol and tragedies don't always end well."

"Basically you're saying you don't want to deal with a drunken-sobbing-hot-mess of a girl?" I didn't take offense as I realized this is what he meant. Who knows what I'd do if I did get drunk? I wasn't dumb. But I was also aware that yeah, sometimes alcohol did seem to be the answer – no matter how false this really was.

I mean, there was that one time in college when my boyfriend dumped me over the phone, while was upstairs, and I hid under my desk with a bottle of Smirnoff. A whole **HANDLE** of Smirnoff. And while I didn't drink the whole thing – hello hospital! – I was beyond 3 sheets to the wind. I mean BEYOND. As in, rolling across the floor, trying to kill myself by slicing away at my arms with half of a safety scissors, vomiting on my laptop, and eventually, vomiting on my friends legs.

Of course, I remember up to the safety scissors thing, but nothing else. I was with a room full of people, but they were in pretty bad shape too. Its just, you know, alcohol seems like the answer at the time – you do forget – but you do go a little crazy. Some people get happier, some people get calmer, some get sadder. Personally, it depends on what happens while drinking for me.

On that particular night, a girl told me I deserved it. And since she was my friend and I was drinking, I lost it. Completely. So, its safe to say lesson learned.

"Look I know of a place we could go. Someplace quiet."

"Oh gah, is this a come on? Like, we're going to end up in your bedroom? Beca-"

"What? What? NO! Not...no." He shook his head, "Its in the mountains up here. "

"Okay." I said, jumping back onto the bike.

00000-000

By this point, I was certain I had Logan figured out. He was a brute, a jerk, and a self-absorbed show off. He was angry with everyone and everything, and he was rude just for show. Also, I was convinced he was taking steroids too, and we all know what that does to their jr. Anyways, I had _thought_ I had him figured out, and I didn't like it one bit. Yet despite our angry conversation and quarreling, today he was going above and beyond.

I understand that maybe he felt obligated to take me to the memorial once Storm was called away. And I got that he was being kinder to me today because he had an idea of how hard this was for me. And while I thought it might just be his way of recruiting me for the team, I was still confused.

When I first met him, he wasn't very warm and friendly. Once I learned that he had just come from the scene of the crime, it upset me even more that he acted that way. But I started to consider his point of view. He saw what I could do, and here I was at a school that he called home. Why trust me? Why be warm and welcoming?

So maybe time went by and he started to study me a little more and see what I was like after the first impressions wore off. I don't know, but that's what I was doing today, anyways. I just think that it speaks volumes that he was willing to drive me here to this beautiful lake, Silver Lake, when really he could have just taken me back to the school.

There was a parking lot at an overlook, where the lake lay below, the sun not quite setting thanks to the longer days of summer, and some picnic tables. I walked over to a red one with chipping paint and sat on the table. Logan stood next to me and lit a cigar. I took a deep breath, taking in the scent.

"Botherin' you?" He asked. I wondered if he actually cared or was just asking to find out.

"Nah, I actually like it." And before he could speak, I spoke for him, " I know, strange. But when I went to college and all these kids would smoke 'em I started learning that I liked the smell. It reminds me of something but I can't imagine what."

I shrugged and we sat in silence. There was a song stuck in my head that wouldn't leave. It was a City and Colour song called Hello, I'm in Delaware:

_My body aches,_

_And it hurts to sing._

_No one is moving._

_And I wish that I weren't here tonight,_

_But this is my life._

I thought I'd be stuck singing it forever, stuck in the moment, until I heard Logan say something.

"Do you hate him?" Logan asked, walking closer and joining me on the picnic table. It groaned under his weight, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Who?" I turned to him, curious.

"Your pops…everything he did." Oh, that. I didn't know he knew that…I wondered if he knew that I didn't remember it either.

"Kind of a strange question, don't you think? I mean, would you?"

"I get it if you do. Sounds like you're lucky to be alive."

"Do you care if I do? I'm not being sarcastic, or whatever the word is I'm looking for, but do you? I guess I just don't really get why you're asking this."

"Cuz that's pretty traumatic, everything you've seen. Just wonderin' if 12 years later you forgive that kind of thing."

"Oh you have no idea the amount of trauma involved. But I mean…consider it _forgotten._ It's in the past, y'know? And it's almost 13 years, so it's about damn time I got over it." LIES. I didn't remember, so how could I know if I hated him??

"You got a birthday comin' up or is this the anniversary?"

"Ah…I'll be 23 in two weeks. But it happened like…a month after my birthday." I explained. Huh…"You know I just realized something. All these tragedies that keep happening to me, they happen around my birthday."

"All these tragedies?" He mocked, "You mean the whole _two?"_

I sighed dramatically, "C'mon, think about it! First of all, they're more tragedies than the average person ever sees in an entire lifetime. And second of all, they're both within a month of my birthday."

"Basically you're saying you're cursed?" He was sounding annoyed. "You've got a nice imagination on you, Piper. "'

"I am in no way saying I'm cursed! But you really don't think it's even a little weird that they're so close together? Why didn't they happen in January or in May? Even then they'd be further apart."

"I think it's a complete coincidence. I think you hit a patch of really bad luck twice. But you managed to get over it last time – what'd you do then?"

"Therapy?" I asked, shrugging.

"Don't ask me. I suggest it though, crazy girl."

I rolled my eyes and realized he was smiling. Well, even if he did think I was crazy, at least he was being amused. Oh yeah, and that's sarcasm.

Actually, I had gone to therapy. I woke up in a hospital after passing out in Officer Asa's car when they originally found me. It was then that I completely lost my mind – literally – and they sent me to a therapist while I explained that I didn't understand what happened, and that I didn't remember.

They told me my parents were dead and they showed me family photos and other things from my house – I hadn't been allowed to visit – to help me remember, but it never worked. Asa visited me while I stayed at a childrens' home and they tried to fix me. When they learned I wasn't traumatized, just memory-less, they sent me home with Asa, where she adopted me and I lived with her.

I was so young, that when she asked me to live with her, of course I had said yes. I think I cried when I packed my things up but Asa quickly learned I was just crying because I couldn't remember. Doctors found it strange that after years I never started to remember, and that I didn't even have nightmares or anything, but at the same time, Asa, who had seen what had happened, said it seemed normal to her.

So, now I wondered, do I tell Logan I don't actually remember, and that's how I survived? Nah. Simple as that. I don't know this guy well enough and just because he was being kind to me today didn't mean it was time to spill. Besides, I'd only told Storm because she was a genuine friend. This guy was like a fair-weather friend, except he wasn't being nice only when I was in a good mood, he was only nice when he felt obligated to be. I don't know what's worse.

Of course, I could be wrong about him completely. But I didn't think so, at least, not now. After all, I had no reason too.

"Well…" I tried to change the subject, "I'm starving…want to head back?" I checked my phone it read 6:49pm. We'd spent the day miles and miles away…

He looked at me and smirked, "lets get food."

"Even better." I struggled to smile at him, hopping off the bench. He put out his cigar and pocketed it for later. If I were in a different mental state, I'd wonder if this were a date. But at this point, I was under the impression that today was just like a get out of jail free card. He was going to be nice because it was a hard day for me. And I was going to try and be nice back so that he doesn't start being grumpy old Logan once again.

0000000----------0

Hope you liked it! Review, please. Noflames,thanks.

P.S. I used two Counting Crows songs last two chapters because I love them! So. Now you know!


	7. As Tears Go By

Thanks for the reviews! I'm going away on vacation, so I'm leaving you with an extra long chapter. Also, some of the stuff in here was inspired by quotes or movies I've seen, so I've take scenarios, etc. from that. It helped me a lot in writing this…anyways hope you like it!

P.S. The song at the beginning is from one of my favorite movies **– Casablanca.** Its an oldie, and I never in a million years would have seen it if not for my film course – but its so good! Its just such a good love story…anyways, here we go!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

* * *

**You must remember this  
A kiss is still a kiss  
A sigh is just a sigh  
The fundamental things apply  
_As time goes by_**

0------0

So, for those of you wondering what that letter said that I left for Asa…OK. I'll share some of it with you. But not all…And let me explain a little. When I was younger I used to hate high school more than anything. Best years of my life, my ass! But Asa used to leave little sayings around the house for me to find, on the bathroom mirror, kitchen table, in my purse. I remembered some of them, and wrote them in my note to her…

"Wake up. Get out of bed and stop hiding under the duvet, no matter how warm it is. You will get nothing accomplished. Put some clothes on. Wear the red tights with the mustard yellow shoes. Arrange the 3-day-old curls in your hair. Do something nice for yourself today. Get pretty for absolutely no reason other than to prove to yourself that you're not worthless and slovenly. Go to your favorite record store and listen to the old man's playlist that usually consists of Howlin' Wolf and strange 60s Middle Eastern music. Buy yourself your favorite garlic and tomato burrito, and make sure you get extra guacamole. Spend the extra money on your favorite art magazine and plan a trip to Europe in your head. Sing your favorite songs in your car. Make a pit stop to the landing. Collect the last leaves from autumn. Watch the sun sink into the horizon. Don't stare at your phone and wait for it to vibrate. Don't mope. Don't think about the only men in your life that have belittled you this week. Don't sit. Don't wait. Don't look at the time that you've always set to three hours behind."

Short and choppy, but I needed for her to know that I remembered those, and that I actually listened.

0-0-0-0

I say it was a get out of jail free day, but…I'm really confused about that, as I lay in bed, trying to sleep. We went to dinner at an Applebee's and then back at the school. It did kind of seem like a date, what with the awkward chatter and him paying – I had no money though - and the drinking of cocktails and perhaps flirty banter. For such a hard day, he was really helping me feel better.

If I had gone to the funeral, I think my mood would be loads different, but I didn't have her grave to look into or the priest to speak those words of goodbye. Yes, I was really upset about not being able to be there, but Asa wouldn't have wanted me to make an issue about this. Anyways, where was I? Oh right. So…then we came back to the school. And this is where it gets strange…

"Logan, I know you and I…butt heads…but I really appreciate this…all of this…" I struggled for words, as I put the helmet back on a shelf, and walked towards the doorway to meet him. "You didn't have to do anything, and yet you thought of everything."

Smiling, he reached out and put a hand on my shoulder. I wasn't used to being touched by him, and I felt that tingling sensation I sometimes got when I was just about to use my powers, warm and fuzzy. "I do want you to join the team, that's all that the fighting was about. But I'm aware there are bigger matters at hand. I'm sorry for your loss." It was a typical thing to say at the end of a funeral, but after he said it, he followed it with a kiss on the cheek. Except, he didn't pull away, as he was close to my face.

Maybe I did it on purpose – who knows? The jury is still out on this one, but I turned my head ever so slightly that his lips were at mine, breathing onto mine. It smelled like cigars, beer, and maybe even a hint of those French fries we shared. The moment stood there, shouting at us, and I think because Logan has such good hearing, he heard it first, and moved in for the kill. Our lips crashed together, and then before I could really process it, they were apart once again. It was brief, but a kiss is still a kiss, right?

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth to speak. He lifted his arm off my shoulder and awkwardly rubbed his neck. "T-thanks…" I cleared my throat, "Thanks again. Good night Logan." I quickly left him there, opening the door; waiting for it to shut and then I ran up the stairs before I could do something embarrassing. What the hell just happened?

Storm knocked on my door and apologized, and we sat by the window for a little, talking, and after she left and I showered, I just laid, right where I am, thinking everything over. I didn't tell her about our goodnight, hoping I'd forget it – wishful thinking, psh.

And all night, I'd been turning all appliances in my room on and off with my powers…just cause it felt right.

But the truth was, the stupid 1-second or longer kiss was what I was using as a distraction. I kept thinking about this pain inside of me. This loneliness and hurt and all of the anger I was feeling. I was angry that I couldn't remember half my life, my parents.

I couldn't remember my father to hate him, or to know if I even should. When you look at it as black and white, yes he was a horrible person, but for all I knew, he was lovely and he just went crazy one night. I couldn't take this anymore…I wanted to run throughout the school screaming. I wanted to run down the crowded streets of Philadelphia crying. I was just so alone. I _needed_ for it all to go away…

All I would like in my life, what I wish for so very much, is to someday have the strength and be free of the resentment and anger that I carry around with me like Linus' blanket for just long enough to become one of those people who is better than the worst thing that ever happens to her.

And that's the most frightening aspect of loneliness...You think you're being damaged while loneliness is happening to you, and the worry amplifies the pain.

I had all these images flying around inside my head, morbid and strange, but solutions. I imagined strange vines creeping up and wrapping themselves around me and taking me under to this suffocating land where I never have to feel any more pain or worry ever again.

I don't know if you've ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That's why I'm trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning.

And so I had to distract myself. And Logan was the perfect distraction. Besides, it wasn't like he was the mind reader, so he'd never know that I comforted myself by obsession over the little things.

I know, it was just a kiss, and I had to stop thinking about it. It was silly really. I'd been kissed before, but I guess that wasn't really the point. The point was I was sure Logan was a jackass. And now I had proof. I mean, duh – who else would kiss a chick after a funeral? Point for Piper. And this is what I thought of as I finally fell asleep.

00-0-0

I skipped my run the next day, getting tired with the routine. I needed music of some sort to help me get going. At first I had so much to run from that it was easy, but I wasn't so sure anymore. Besides, music & thoughts were a good combo for running, and thoughts alone weren't enough at the moment.

But I actually had a very good reason – at least, to me – to skip out on this forest run. After I made myself some tea I joined Storm and Scott at the table.

"Good morning, Piper. How are you today?" Scott asked, being formal as ever.

"I'm ok, actually."

"That's great to hear. Jean and I are taking some students down to the lake today, if you'd care to come. Its just past the pool." He gathered the newspaper off the table and his empty plate as he started to get up.

"I'll think about it. Thanks though." He put his plates down and headed out.

"Ok, Scotts gone – how are you_ really_ feeling today?"

I chuckled, "I was actually being kind of honest. OK…" I looked around and made sure we were both alone in the kitchen, "Have you ever had…a dream that just had to be real…I…"

"Go on." She looked interested, so encouraged, I continued.

"I know this is going to sound weird, but I feel really strongly about it. And I think its kind of common." I had done dream research on the laptop in my room that I'd been "borrowing" from the school library, that morning.

"I had this dream about Asa. I was asleep, and all of the sudden there she is, that big smile. I recognize that smile. And I say, 'Hey, Asa - where have you been?' but she won't tell me. She just smiles and says, 'Remember, Piper: I'll always love you; I loved you as if you were my own, from day one; I love you now; and I love you forever. There's no goodbyes - there's only love, Piper; only love." Then she's gone. But she's happy when she goes so I know she's got to be okay - absolutely okay."

I bite my lip after saying this and wait.

"I love your dream." Storm says, smiling, reaching across the table and rubbing my hand comfortingly.

"Do you think…"

"It doesn't matter what I think – it matters what you think. You had the dream and you know how it made you feel."

I smiled at her, "You're right…it was so…perfect. I don't know how else to say it. Its what I needed to hear though. " I got up and started to make myself a pop tart.

"Are you going to go to the lake with everyone?" She asked, looking through the coupons Scott so kindly left behind. (He's a weirdo.)

"Maybe. I heard rumors of a rope swing, which could be fun, but I have to think about it. I'm still avoiding Logan – I know, I know, he took me yesterday so I should get over his attitude, but hell I'm a woman, we're allowed to be stubborn." Half-truths, I was avoiding him, but I was slightly over his attitude. I just wanted to avoid him in case I blushed around him.

Before you judge, I'll tell you ahead of time I'm an easy blusher. I blush at the thought of some things. So geez, calm down. Its gonna happen.

"Well, Logan left for the day. Not exactly sure where he went. Probably an errand or something for the Professor. Like I told you last night, we never did find out where that kid went off too."

Oh yeah, that. Storm and Jean had gone off to New Hampshire in the jet in search of this boy who was about to cause a lot of issues with his hometown that they were trying to beat. When they'd arrived there was no one in the house and it seemed to have been empty for some time.

"New Hampshire isn't exactly a day trip, minus the jet."

"Yeah, that's what I thought, but who knows? Maybe the professor got another lead, one that's nearby. That's just what Xavier told me this morning, that Logan would be out all day."

"Oh, huh." I pretended to be disinterested. I kind of was. So whatever, now my day would be more relaxing, Attitude-with-muscles wasn't going to be around and I wouldn't have to worry about avoiding him. So I win. "What are you doing?"

"Remember how I told you about Tony?" I nodded. "We're going on a picnic! He won't tell me much; just that he's got this whole date planned out for us. In fact, " She glanced at her watch, " I better start getting ready."

"Aw storm that is so exciting! You have to let me know what happens…"

"Of course I will!" As she got up and walked past me, she put a hand on my shoulder, "Have fun today, ok? I know how hard it can be, but give it a chance."

We both laughed a little as she left. I would so totally have fun today! Hopefully. I mean, my only ally, Storm, was leaving…whatever, I'd survive.

00—00-

I was kind of bored at first. In fact, I was having all sorts of doubts about everything. Like, how my only friend was really Storm and how maybe I wasn't going to be happy at this school. But when I closed my eyes and replayed my dream, things got a little better. And as the day went on, Rogue and Jean forced me to participate in activities.

Things were better when they helped. I mean, they definitely got me thinking happy thoughts and laughing, so that was good. I decided to try and stop hiding in my room all the time and spend more time with everyone else.

Logan did return around sunset and I had to avoid him – it didn't go unnoticed though, and trust me on that. And then, to top the night off, Scott and Jean got engaged. And in a real showy way too.

When the sky finally got dark, Bobby, Pyro and some other boys had the job of setting off fireworks over the lake so Scott could get down on bended knee and pop out a ring. Jean said yes and everyone clapped.

Throughout the congrats, I turned to search for Storm, I had assumed she would have been back by now, and I knew she wouldn't want to miss this. After not finding her, I gave the two my congrats, separated myself from the crowd, and found my phone to call her.

She answered after a couple of rings, "Hey Piper! I was just about to call you."

"Where are you?" There was loud music and she was clearly yelling over it. I hated talking to people in loud rooms when I wasn't in an equally loud room, because then I end up yelling so they can hear me but really its just absurd because its quiet on my end. Suddenly it got quieter and I delivered the news, "Jean & Scott just got engaged!"

"Really? Oh! That's so wonderful! Aw and I won't be there to congratulate her…"

"Wait, you're not coming back tonight?"

"Tony and I are out and…I don't think I'll be coming home, no. But listen, I'll be back early tomorrow. Tell Jean I'm going to take us three out to breakfast to celebrate, ok?"

"Yeah, sure…you're safe though, right?" Ok, overprotective, but whatever. Better safe than sorry! Right? Right.

"I'll be fine, don't worry. And if anyone asks, just tell them I'm staying with a friend in the city for the night."

I agreed and we said our goodbyes. As I turned to rejoin the crowd, guess who was standing within 10 feet of me smoking a cigar? No, sorry, if you guessed Winston Churchill, you are way wrong. (He was noted for smoking cigars. Don't ask why I know that.) It was of course, Logan, and he had definitely been listening in on our conversation.

"You should really keep your ears to yourself." I snapped putting my phone back into the pocket of the purple sundress I was wearing over my suit.

"What? Did I say anything about Storm having sex tonight?"

"Logan!" I gasped, kind of angry, kind of amused, "She said nothing of the sort and mind your own business!"

"Are you 4? Do we need to have this talk," He waved his cigar around as he spoke, "When a man and a woman feel something for each other – attraction, love, strong feelings – they-"

"Shut up! You're gross. Let me guess, you teach health, right? If that's the case I bet half the student population is going to be expecting by the end of the term."

He chuckled, "You're quite feisty, aren't you?"

"Do not tell anyone, either!" He smiled a 'duh smile, and I snapped at him. "Leave me alone." I pushed past him and rejoined the group. He came over to me later on, but I quickly walked away before he could even speak.

I was kind of concerened about my attitude towards him, but I couldn't help myself. Part of me worried that I'd yell and snap and avoid him so much he'd actually stop going near me. And so, would I miss him then?

* * *

Ok, so that dream she had? A good friend of mine lost one of her best friends this past year, and a week later she had a dream similar to it. I don't know why, or what its saying, or anything really. I just loved that she had that dream and that it happened for her. Just because, I know, with losing someone…I wouldn't mind having a dream like that.

Review, please! Noflames,thanks.


	8. Different Kind of Fine

OK so, as far as Scott & Jean's siblings and family situations go, I don't know them officially, and I wanted to do my own thing anyways, sooo I did! Hope you like it, though its not really a big part of the story.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

----=-=-=-=-

**You make your past your past  
It's a brand new day  
The sun is shining  
It's a brand new day  
For the first time in  
Such a long long time  
I know, I'll be ok  
This cycle never ends  
You gotta fall in order to mend**

( Brand New Day – Joshua Radin)

I succeeded at avoiding him until the next day at breakfast with Storm and Jean, after I had skipped yet another morning of running. So really I hadn't succeeded for that long, but that's not the point. There was a lot of conscious effort put into that avoidance!

On a side note, Jeans ring was HUGE. And I mean HUGE. It looked like Scott had been saving up forever for that thing! Sheesh!

Anyways, Jean told us they were planning on a May wedding, so they'd have plenty of time to plan. They wanted to have the ceremony at the school, inviting both of their families, who, lucky for them, were both mutant friendly. She asked Storm to be the Maid of Honor, and surprisingly of all, she asked me to be a bridesmaid.

I wasn't exactly thrilled with this idea, let alone sure why on earth she'd ask me when she barely knew me, but what could I say? No, sorry, I hate weddings? (Which I did. But boy, did I love wedding receptions.) She wasn't sure if she was going to ask anyone else, Scott had a sister who she'd probably ask, but that'd be it.

Apparently they'd been talking marriage for a while. They'd already planned out a honeymoon in the Caribbean and how long they wanted to wait for their first child – exactly a year. It was kind of creepy how organized everything was for something no one knew about until yesterday. But I was happy for her, and we were all suddenly aware of how this wedding was about to take over the school. But back to the point at hand, ignoring Logan.

I woke up and put on my blue shorts and white/gold striped tank top, along with my brown-flops. After I pulled my hair into a ponytail, & fixed my bangs, I looked at myself in the mirror and decided I was ready to go out. My wardrobe was interesting, considering I'd acquired it in one day, and during this day I was overwhelmed with grief I didn't know what I had been buying.

I was in the kitchen searching for a highly caffeinated soda when I heard a commotion. Scott came in behind Logan as I was pulled a can of Mountain Dew out of the fridge.

Logan looked at me and opened his mouth as if to say something when Scott cut in, continuing their argument. I raised my eyebrows at him and shook my head, as if I were looking at kid who knew he'd done something wrong and was about to be punished.

"You do this every time Logan! I said you can borrow my bike whenever you want as long as you fill it up – I can't even make it to the Exxon station now!"

"How is that my fault?" Logan laughed, not taking Scott seriously at all.

"You-"

Quickly, I cut in, "Scott I can drive you down to the gas station if you'd like. There's the truck in the garage."

"No, Piper, that's ok. I appreciate the offer but its Logan's job." He turned and I assumed he was glaring at Logan, kind of hard to tell with the glasses and all.

"Fine, I'll take you. Why don't you come with?" He turned to me and made a ha-ha face.

"No! I mean, it's not necessary, is it?"

"Actually, please come?" Scott turned to me and said, "I'll probably find a way to kill Logan if I'm alone with him. And you can't possibly have anything to do."

"Why couldn't I possibly-" Stopping myself, I pouted and made a face like a kid, "Fine, I guess I'll go…"

I offered ten seconds ago, of course he knew I'd have nothing to do.

Whining the whole time, mainly to annoy Logan, I followed the two towards the garage. Logan loaded the bike into the bed of the truck and hopped in the drivers seat. I went for the back, but Scott so kindly insisted I take the front. Point to him for being generous and all, but I'd have been fine not sitting next to Logan. I swear; if he brings up that awkward goodnight in the garage, I'll grab the wheel and run us off the road, oh I will, don't doubt it.

Scott went on about the wedding the whole way there and already it was getting old. Logan seemed just as annoyed as me, seeing as how he had to light a cigar before the gates to the school even opened. I made a mental note to tease/mock/question him about ALWAYS smoking cigars.

"I just can't wait for the ceremony, getting to read her the vows I've written, it'll be-"

"Woah, wait a sec – you already have them written?" I turned around to stare at him. The wedding was almost a year away!

"Well, yeah. You have to be prepared for these things!"

Logan grunted, I dropped my jaw. "Scott, there's a difference between preparation and overly prepared. You can't write these things this far in advance!"

"Why not?" He asked, amazed that anyone could find fault in his logic.

"Well, for example, what if your feelings change? I mean, they grow stronger and…er…you need different words…"

"Oh silly Piper – Jean already means the world to me. And perfection can't get anymore…" He sighed in engaged-nerd-bliss, "Perfect!" He laughed to himself and slapped his knee.

"Ugh." I didn't realize the noise I'd made was audible til Logan laughed. Scott on the other hand, didn't seem to hear it, as he continued smiling like a dog with a bone, and stared out the window as we pulled into the gas station.

"Well," Scott said, putting the nozzle in the bike, "thanks for the ride you two. Maybe one day you'll both find the kind of love Jean and I have."

Naïve prick.

Logan looked like he wanted to relight his cigar and throw it at him, but instead he got back in the truck, where I joined him.

0-0-0-0-0

"So, I want a dog, I decided. You think Xavier would go for it?" It was a time filler, but it was also true. I'd always wanted one, but Asa was allergic to their saliva so that was a no go. And I'd planned on adopting one once I'd gotten my own place but, ah, well…_that _probably isn't going to be happening anymore. At least, for a long while.

He had relit the cigar once we were on the road again, and we'd both opened our windows, but he didn't head towards the school. When I finally noticed, I was already talking about dogs. I pretended that I hadn't figured it out, mainly because he was probably trying to get some sort of weird rise out of me. Well, joke is on him…I happen to…er…love being kidnapped! Yeah…

"I don't know, no one has ever tried. Probably not a good idea, students with allergies and all." He was waiting for me to ask where we were going, not taking his eyes off the road. That whole concentrate-on-where-we're-going-so-you'll-notice-you-don't-know-where-we-are-going trick was so not working.

"Yeah, but it wouldn't have free roam of the school. It'd be with me the whole time or in my room." I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes.

"What kind of dog wants to be kept on a leash by its masters side its whole life, or kept in a tiny room? I'd hate to see what you'd do with it back in Philadelphia."

"First of all, I've lived in a tiny apartment my entire life so, it would have been fine there. I've never lived in a place with more than one bedroom, and I happen to know people with dogs in apartments, so long as the dogs are smaller, then they're fine."

"What, that house you grew up in doesn't count? Didn't your parents let you have a dog, give you a fake pet to teach you responsibility? I've seen Full House, I know about the whole, teach the kid responsibility with a fake pet thing."

Uh oh…forgot about my "old house" that I apparently lived in. Uh…subject change! "What the hell? You watch Full House? And that's not Full House that they've done the responsibility lesson on. Uh…and..…you watch Full House and what other cheesey sitcom?"

"I'm sure it was Full House."

"No it was not! They had a golden retriever, Comet, since the show began!" I argued, turning towards him. This was the dumbest argument I've had in awhile.

"Oh so you can watch that show, but I can't?"

I shrugged, "Its just weird, that's all. I thought you'd be too busy training and making up bullshit to settle down and watch ABC Family."

"Hey genius, it's a school, meaning there are kids around who watch that stuff. I don't clear my schedule so that every day at 3 I can catch the show."

"Oh…" I paused. "So that's why you know it's at 3 every day. Gotcha. Pure coincidence that you're in the room."

"Shut up." He growled in annoyance. Hah! I was getting to him!

"No, no, it's totally cool. That Joey Gladstone is a real hottie-"

"Surge…" He warned.

"And I swear, Michelle Tanner…Ugh, if I wasn't aware that they were all reruns I'd just wonder what cute thing she was going to do next-"

"Surge!" He slammed the breaks at a red light and turned to me. His expression was so annoyed I burst out laughing.

"Oh calm yourself, Wolvie, its fun to get you riled up."

"You too – speaking of – when you going to ask where we're going?"

I tried to look smug as I folded my arms across my chest, "I'm not!"

"Alright," He smirked, "When we gonna discuss you kissin' me the other night?"

Annnnnnnnnnnnd….ok! That was it! The line has been crossed....I'm really annoyed.

But mainly because he looks so smug right now. A maybe kind of cute. _Shut up, brain!_

0-=-=-=-=

Hope you liked this!! Kind of random, but hey, progress is progress! Review, please! Noflames, thanks!


	9. Woman! Man!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Thank you thank you thank you thank you….your reviews keep me going!

Oh, and if anyone is wondering, there is a whollle lot of action/x-men stuff that will be coming up. I have it all planned out, blah blah, but its just not here yet. Patience…. Haha. And sorry this is so short...hope you like it anyways!

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Cause you are here and who you are  
And faith can make you wild with hope

But now is where you are  
Ready or not  
We're gonna be here tomorrow  
Whether or not  
You've stopped your wondering  
Ready or not  
We're gonna be here tomorrow  
Wild with hope in spite of everything

(Ready or Not - The Submarines)

"You kissed me first of all – if that is what you define a kiss as, and by the way, if it is, you need some serious practice – and second of all, that's totally taking advantage of a grieving girl."

"Helped your grieving, didn't it? Gave you real _sweet_ dreams?" The light changed and he took off, smiling to himself.

"Shut up, you know nothing of me or my dreams." Was it possible that kiss triggered the dream? No! C'mon…no! Asa came to me…she did…it was…

I didn't realize how serious my response turned the moment, but he was quiet for a second. "I didn't mean to joke about what you're going through."

"Yeah well then why bring it up?" Dumb question.

"You brought it up. And now I'm going to change the subject. You want a dog?"

I sighed, "Its fine, Logan, just forget it."

"And another thing, don't call me Wolvie. What the hell kind of nickname is that anyways?"

I laughed and turned towards the window again. "One that pisses you off."

"Fine, Surgey, hope you like cookin' your own lunch." He finally made a turn down a road and we entered a strange town. We pulled into a parking lot at a restaurant with a sign in the shape of a truck that said "Tailgaters" in big red letters.

"Don't call me that. And I'm not hungry." He got out of the car ignoring me. "Hey!" I yelled after him, opening the door, "Hand me the keys!"

"No way, city girl. You're not driving anywhere."

Putting my hands on my hips, I stomped my feet, "I can drive FINE thank you very much! Give me the keys and I'll come pick you up in like, an hour or something."

He ignored me. What. An. _Asshole._

"Fine, Wolvie, but you're paying, and I'm going to order everything on the menu and not eat it."

Logan opened the door for me and I walked into the dimly lit restaurant. There were grills all along the front where families were taking turns cooking there own steaks and…er…bread? There was a sign that said seat yourself and as we walked past the grills there were red booths and tables with the checkered red and while tablecloths on them.

We sat down and a waitress brought over menus. I wanted to bring up the dog topic again, but I wasn't sure how to do so without brining up my home life and without lying. Instead I studied the menu…I was kind of hungry. I mean, when it came to food, I was a bottomless pit. After everything with Asa, I stopped eating so much, but ever since the funeral, (ok two days ago) I'd started getting my appetite back. I didn't think anyone noticed til Logan commented.

"Now you _have _to eat. Poor you."

"Do you have to be an ass about everything, or is it an accident?" I snapped.

"Just pointing out the obvious." He said, not looking up from the menu.

I looked over it too.

Texas Toast: Butter your own bread and grill it on your own for some of the finest toast in Texas!

Ah, so that's what they were doing. Now that interests me. Back to our argument:

"And what exactly is the obvious?"

"You don't eat, Anner."

"Anner? Is that like a play on the word anorexic? Cute, Wolvie. I bet you're _real _popular with the kids at the school. That's a serious issue, ok? And so I haven't eaten a lot lately, its not like you know me."

"So you've always never eaten?"

"Have I ever been around you and not eaten when food was out?"

I really wanted to curse at him, really, really, wanted to curse at him, but a family of kids just sat down at the table next to us. Instead I glared, "Sorry it's hard to shove food down my throat when all I can think about is my dead mother."

Finally, he looked up and we stared at each other. "You can't delay your life just because someone else has attempted to delay yours."

I stared a bit more, cocking my head to the side. "Wow. Aren't you wise." I mumbled, looking back down at the menu. Seeing the pulled pork sandwich, perhaps the only thing on the menu you didn't have to make yourself, I decided on that. I didn't mind cooking, but I wasn't a huge steak or chicken person, especially at 12:30 in the afternoon.

The waitress, a blonde southern girl who's nametag read 'Sookie' came and took our order. We both ordered a Budweiser and he got the steak and fries combo, while I got the pork and toast. I was probably going to burn the place down cooking it, but it smelled awesome when we walked by.

"Tell me, when kids come to you at school with serious issues, do you just laugh at them, or what?"

"You're not a kid, Kirby – you're supposed to be able to take care of yourself." Another nickname? It was always a different name with him! Even though, you know, that was my last name.

"Thanks. As if losing the last person in my life who _could_ and _did_ care for me hadn't just died, you're here to remind me."

Our beers came and I took a sip before it touched the table. He shook his head and raised his bottle to mine, "Fine. To moving forward, then."

"Fine." I snapped, clinking glasses with him.

I shook my head and picked at the label, while he stared at me. I pretended not to notice. I wasn't always a huge bitch with an attitude problem. In fact, I was a nice person. Sure, in high school I wasn't voted most popular, but my friends liked me and I was funny. I was capable of having fun. But its like suddenly something in my brain switched off and now all I can do is either be a smart ass or just pretend like everything is peachy when its not.

By now, I'd been at the school long enough to know that I could be an ass to Logan and the world wouldn't end, whereas with people like Jean and Hank, the attitude would just isolate me. I wasn't dumb, I didn't want to be alone. Maybe if I were smart I'd be nice to Logan. But half the time, he did start it. And besides, I was just being myself with him. So…maybe there was a good thing about being around him. Being able to breathe….

My toast came at about the same time as his steak, so we went up together to the grills. I buttered it and threw it on, next to his steak.

"Let me have a piece of that." He said, gesturing to my 2nd slice.

"Uh, no way!" I slapped his hand away.

"C'mon, I'm buying aren't I?"

"You didn't give me a choice."

"Admit it, part of you wanted to bond with me."

"Yeah," I nodded with fake enthusiasm, "it's been a blast so far."

"No? It hasn't?"

"Is this what you call fun?"

"Steaks and beers? Yes."

"You really are an animal, aren't you?"

He turned to me, seriously, but I was smiling at him. He realized I was being sarcastic and smiled back.

"Your toast is burning." He pointed out.

"Shit!" I swore, reaching to the tongs. A man with his young kid nearby glared at me, as Logan and I laughed.

"Smells awesome. Never mind about me wanting a piece."

"Oh shut up and cook your steak – we have to get back in time for you to watch Full House."

As I walked back to the table, he called, "It's only on on weekdays!"

By the time he finally sat back down, my food had arrived. He didn't hesitate to steal a bite of my toast anyways, but I rolled my eyes at him in attempts to look annoyed.

"You know, if you ever end up in Philadelphia, there is this steak house that would probably be heaven for you, bud. It's called Fogo De Chao and it's basically an array of unlimited meats. They give you this like, round piece of paper and one side is red and the other is green. While its green they just keep coming over to you, serving you meat, and when you flip it to green, they leave you alone. It's expensive but amazing. I've only been once for Asa's birthday, but it's so good, I feel like a carnivore like yourself would go crazy in there."

"When am I ever gonna be in Philadelphia?"

"Don't be an ass, I was being nice. "

He laughed, "I'm not being an ass, but I don't think we'll be going to Philadelphia anytime soon."

"We? In case you haven't noticed, we're not exactly attached at the hip, so no ones gonna stop you from going there."

"Yeah, but its not like I'm goin' to go without you now, is it? After all, you told me about the place."

"Guess your right then, when will we ever need to go to Philadelphia? Anyways, I'm not dropping this. I really do want a dog. I know what kind and everything."

"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?"

"10 years of my life! I want a Carin Terrier. Or a Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier. Or a Labradoodle. Or a Goldendoodle."

"That narrows it down. Why you tellin' me all this for? S'not like I'm about to get you a dog."

"Well, since we are out anyways, Mr. Steak Juice all over his face." He looked around for his napkin and when he couldn't find it he reached under the table and took mine. For a moment, his hand grazed my bare leg. _Hmm…_

"Hey! Watch where you're grabbing!"

Logan ignored me as he wiped his face, so I started stealing some of his French fries since I'd already housed my sandwich and toast. Another round of beers came as he pointed out that, "You haven't even asked the Professor yet. You can't just show up with a dog."

We spent the rest of the lunch arguing about the dog I wanted.

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Random chapter, but…progress is progress!! Haha. Excitement in the future…I see it!!

Review,please! Noflames,thanks!


	10. If I Ask You Nicely

So, guys…..thoughts? I mentioned in the last chapter that, yes, I do have a whole, X-Men special team plot thing planned, also known as action! I was wondering, do you want me to put a little bit of that in the chapters, like maybe the Point of View from the opposite end, aka the bad guy?(not necessarily with Piper in them) Or do you guys like it how it is right now, with Piper's thoughts and her life…?

Thanks for all your reviews! Hope you like this!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_"For mine is a generation that circles the globe in search of something we haven't tried before. So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite, and never outstay your welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience, and if it hurts, you know what? It was probably worth it."_

(The Beach)

Logan was growing on me, whether I liked it or not. The truth was, I could deal with him being a total asshole, and I wasn't sure if I should take it so seriously since he did hang around me, plus he wasn't exactly to anyone else either. Rogue was a good example because she just laughed it all off and they were fine; it was obvious they were close friends.

Part of me was convinced that his asshole side was his "true" side and the whole, compassion, taking me out to eat, etc. was because he wanted to make sure I wasn't going to go crazy with grief. The reason I thought this was because after our lunch we didn't really talk much or spend time together. Not that I wanted to bond or anything, it was just something I noticed.

He was pissing me off still. (Boy, did I have mixed feelings, or what?) Any chance he got, he still insisted on pushing me to join the team. Just shut up about the team already! No, "Hey Piper, whattup?" No, "Piper, how are you feeling?" or "Piper, you look lovely, darling, allow me to take you to a enjoyable evening of endless buffets where I won't open my trap at all, unless to compliment on your beauty." None of that!

Instead, whenever he saw me, he'd say something like, "Danger room session, 3 o'clock." And "Don't forget to come to the team meeting today." Or "Wasn't that mission we were on amazing?" Just annoying little things. But I tuned him out and I decided that when I was good and ready, I'd make my choice. Whatever that would be.

"I want to name him Wiggledig." I announced a week later, initiating our first conversation since our lunch, non team related.

The time had flown by, with Jean going crazy over her wedding and Storm flipping out over the big ball Tony had asked her to, taking over my life. It was nice, bonding with them. Rogue had been coming along on our shopping trips and I was really starting to like her. She was down to earth and wasn't afraid to point out how crazy Jean was going. (We had yet to meet Scotts lovely sister, but it was still extremely early – though you should try telling that to the lovers.)

Logan was on lifeguard duty, sitting by the pool reading a motorcycle magazine. It wasn't really lifeguard duty, since it was just Kitty, Bobby, Rogue, and John in the water. It kind of seemed like it was make-out-patrol.

"Who's that? And what's a wiggledig?" He didn't bother looking up at me when I sat down at the table across from him. Logan was dressed in jeans, despite the blazing hot July weather, and a green beater. I'd never seen him in green before – I liked the change of color. Now all he needed to do was learn that shorts existed, but then again, it was weird to picture.

I was wearing my two-piece – yes, I did buy one – because I was lazy about doing my wash and my one piece smelled. It was blue and black with a palm tree print on it. The bottoms were covered though by black board shorts that came with the suit. Today I was a wannabee surfer, especially with my hair in a braid to top it off. And of course, I had my shades on too.

"It's the name of the dog I'm going to get…someday…soon…eventually." I cracked open the can of I'd brought out with me.

"You're not getting a d…" He looked up at me finally, and yeah, I blushed. He was noticing the two-piece that I'd chosen. He tried to clear his throat and met my eyes, "You're not getting a dog."

"You don't know that." I folded my arms across my chest, wondering why I didn't at least put some sort of tank top on. Geez, I just wanted to relax and not get tan lines today. My stomach was pale!

"I heard you the other night asking after dinner, Xavier said it'd be a terrible idea."

"Uh, for the time being," I took a sip, "He'll change his mind. And that's when Wiggles will come into the pictures. And I didn't make it clear that _I _wanted a dog. I more or less said 'what if someone wanted a dog, and has there ever been one at this school before?'"

"You're nuts." He stared at my suit a second too long, my face, and then went back to his magazine. "Are you gonna run down the street yelling, 'HERE WIGGLEDIG!' When it runs away?"

"Ok. Maybe." I shrugged, "Fine. What about WhipnPickel? It's a pirate term. I don't remember what it means, but c'mon how funny would that be?"

"Again, 'HERE WHIPNPICKEL!'" He shook his head and laughed at me, "Lady, you are something else."

I laughed too, "Yeah, well, is that a good thing?"

"Its-" He was interrupted when John found it to be a good time to do a cannonball right by us. We both got splashed and burst out laughing.

"Careful, kiddos. Don't want to do something you might regret…" I warned.

"What's gonna happen? Logan'll smell like wet dog?" Bobby said, laughing.

I shouldn't have, seeing as I was the adult, but I laughed.

"Wanna find out?" Logan asked. He grabbed the pile of towels that were sitting by the pool, and I followed by grabbing the boys t-shirts and shoes. We both dumped them into the deep end, by the waterfall. Rogue and Kitty sat back laughing.

"That's what you get." Rogue teased.

"Oh c'mon!" John and Bobby whined, fishing their stuff out.

Logan and I acted like this didn't happen and sat back down. What were we talking about? Well, I wasn't going to repeat my question to him, that's for sure.

"Maybe I'll call him…Robert. Its sophisticated."

"Look, you're not even getting a dog." He pointed out, closing the magazine and tossing it into the pool to add to the boys' distress. "It was ruined already." He added, seeing the confusion on my face. "Why don't you just wait and if the dog fairy comes by, name it once you see it."

"You don't wait until a baby is born to name it! Why wait for the dog to come?" I pointed out.

"All babies look the same, you gotta name 'em or you'll lose 'em. Dogs are different."

"You would know." I teased, "And I can't believe you just said that about babies."

"You watch Seinfeld? Ever see the ugly baby episode?"

I had to laugh – I had seen that episode. "That's not the point. But whatever, I think I'm getting the point. The dogs not going to be here anytime soon, so I have plenty of time."

"See, you're not so dumb after all."

I stood up abruptly then, and he gazed up at me. "Where are you going?"

"I um…think I'm wanted in Xavier's office. Huh." I shook my head, unsure of why I knew this.

"Oh, that happens. Best get used to it. And hurry back, cuz I might end up drowning one of those boys, and if you're not around to stop me…"

"I'm sure you'd find a way to blame me for it."

"There's your motivation." He shrugged and stared after me as I left. What was he staring at? My brains?

0-0-0-0

"Hey…" I knocked on the half open door to Xavier's office.

"Come in, Piper. You're right to think I wanted you here." He was sitting behind his desk, smiling at me, as I shut the door behind me and sat across from him. "How are you adapting to the school?"

"It's been great so far…everyone's so connected – it really is like a family." Almost too good to be true, I wanted to add, but didn't. It wasn't that I was skeptical, it was just….well, you know, too good to be true.

"It's always like this in the summer, just wait until September when school is back in session. The school really comes alive then, when all of the students are here."

"Yeah," I smiled, unsure of what to say next.

"Piper, I know you're wondering why I called you here. I believe this is a very sensitive matter, and it's understandable, but it is something that we must address."

Uh-oh…

"I know Logan has brought up the team to you. I want you to know that was not at my suggesting, he did that on his own accord. That being said, I do think it is something you should seriously consider. The team isn't just about going out and fighting the bad guys, as Logan may have made it appear. We work together to bring mutants to the school that come from environments where they're not accepted, or help mutants who just need training. Such as yourself. And with these skilled mutants, we form a team to help achieve and maintain a sense of justice and peace for all mutants."

"Ah, yes…" I hadn't really used my powers since I'd been here, except for the little things here and there.

"I know you're scared of your powers right now, and that is completely understandable. But it is something that, with training from myself and sessions in the danger room, can be controlled. If you should decide to join the team, we'd also have you take defense classes with Logan. And we would never send you on a mission that you did not feel prepared for."

"This team…its very important to you. I understand that, but why me? Logan goes on about how my ability is so great…"

"To Logan, you are a natural born fighter, like himself."

"I lack the upper body strength he has," I said, jokingly as I flexed invisible muscles.

"Perhaps you don't have the same physical qualities as him, but when it comes to powers, you are stronger then any of us can imagine."

"I guess you know that…with the whole…" I gestured to my head.

He smiled, and chuckled, "Disregarding everything Logan said to you, I think this is something you should consider doing. If not for other mutants, for yourself. I'd be willing to train you, even if you decided not to join the team. Of course, we'd have to find another job for you here at the school – I understand you majored in journalism, and we could easily work with that but…"

"But you didn't bring me here to be an English teacher, did you?" I looked at my hands in my lap. "I just need time…and I know you've given me that, but I'm just not sure at the moment."

"Of course. And I will never ask you to leave the mansion, should you turn this offer down. Take a few weeks, and think things over, and let me know. But remember, Piper, don't let anyone else effect your decision."

"Thank you…" I didn't know what to say to him. He was the kindest person I'd ever met – he was letting me live and eat under his roof and all he was asking was that I join his team. I stood up to leave, but stopped at the door. "Professor, I want you to know, I do appreciate everything, and I can't thank you enough. I don't want you to think I'm just taking everything for granted and…well I am just really confused right now."

He was still wearing that warm smile, "No pressure, Piper. I'm confident you'll make the best choice for yourself."

And on that note, I left his room and headed outside again, this time to that wonderful maze I'd been gazing at yet hadn't explored.

0-0-

So there you go…hope you liked it!!

Review, please! Noflames, thanks!


	11. They Say Its Your Birthday

Thank you again for all your reviews!! I have a lot in mind for upcoming chapters and I cannot wait to share. Hope you enjoy!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_And it all seems so helpless_

_And I have no plans_

_I'm a plane in the sunset_

_With nowhere to land_

_And I feel stuck_

_Watching history repeating_

_Yeah, who am I?_

_Just a kid who knows she's needy_

(Let that be enough – Switchfoot)

I had expected Xavier to say something eventually. I wasn't mad about it, or surprised. But I was certainly confused. I liked what the team stood for and what they did, sure, I was all for it. As for actually joining in and helping on, you know, hands on? That wasn't really my "thing", I didn't trust myself and I wasn't ready to get myself into something I can't get out of.

And yet, I couldn't stop thinking about the team, and their stories. Everyone had one to tell, and it was always the topic. During my short time at the school, I had heard plenty, both good and bad.

One girl had wanted to come to the school so badly, she convinced her parents to come tour it. They were concerned that the city wasn't safe, and they were shot on their first night here. But the girl, her name was Alba, was still determined to come to the school, so despite her parents deaths and the fact that they were right, she still came. She's only in 10th grade, so she's not on the team, but the team helped her find her parents killers and put them in jail.

This was just one story I kept thinking about. It sort of stuck with me, how she didn't let this tragedy define her and stop her from getting what she wanted. That's what the X-Men did; they were a team of people who happened to have abilities beyond normal that would help make the impossible possible. I mean, its corny and everything, but all of the stories I kept hearing made me think that way.

So where did I fit in, in all of this? That 15-year-old girl could overcome what happened to her, and be a better person now because of it. Why was I different? Why couldn't I move past these things, join the team, get a cool leather suit like everyone else, and do the right thing?

It all seems so simple, right? Just tell Xavier that I'd do it. Everyone is happy. But…I was too scared of myself. I was too obsessed with my own issues, and myself, and that to me, was a perfect reason not to join a team. There is no I in team. But there was in conceited.

And while I'm not exactly proud of that, I just…need time.

-0-0-0-0-0

I woke up on Friday and stared at the ceiling. I'd been at the mansion for almost a month now, and last night for the first time since I'd been here, the X-Men suited up and went out. I passed out on the couch while watching The Prestige with some of the younger kids and was woken up by Hank, who had stayed behind, around 1am. They hadn't come back yet, so I just went to my room and hit the sack. But before I headed up, I asked Hank where they were, and he said he couldn't say, since it was private and a "Team thing". Ugh…annoying.

It was my birthday today. I was officially 23 years old. I didn't feel 23. Sometimes I felt 33 and sometimes I felt 12, right now I felt weary. Luckily, I hadn't said a word about it to anyone, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. As far as they were concerned, it was just a normal day.

After glancing out the window to see nothing but clouds, I opened my closet to pick out weather appropriate attire. Today's outfit was a pair of loose jeans, a white wife beater, and three-quarter-length sleeved button down black and neon plaid blouse. I put some eyeliner on and shook out my hair while searching for my flip-flops.

When I had finally made my way down the stairs, the kitchen was empty. Was it possible they were STILL out on their oh-so-secret-mission? For some reason, the Mission Impossible theme song just popped into my head.

Rogue rushed in suddenly, and flopped down at the table, putting her head in her hands. Now, I liked Rogue. She's been nothing but nice and she shares my affinity for Sweet Tea. But we haven't exactly had any deep talks or anything, so this whole emotional scene in front of me was totally new.

"Hey, uh, Rogue, are you ok?" You know how it is when you ask people you're not really good friends with if they're ok? They lie and say they are fine or that they don't want to talk about it, but yet they're still making a scene. I expected this from Rogue, but she surprised me.

"No! Its that damn Bobby!" She stood up so fast the chair almost flipped over and then she slammed it into the table. After letting out a huge sigh and crossing her arms, she stood next to me by the counter. "I need to get away."

"What happened?"

"Can we just go somewhere? Anywhere? _Please?_ I'll tell you everything once we're far, far away. "

Here Southern accent made me think of Forest Gump and the scene where Jenny prays, "Dear God, please make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away…"

I shrugged, "Sorry kid, I don't know the way to never, never land."

"Did you just call me kid?" She asked, scrunching her face up.

"Yeah…go figure. Look running away from your problems only works 98% of the time. I don't think that's a chance you wanna take."

She gave a half smile, "Can we just go to breakfast somewhere? I don't want to deal with him and he's going to find me sooner or later."

"I guess breakfast would be fine." I started for the garage.

"And uhm, the mall. Please." I stopped and turned to her, but she had an innocent look on her face, "I want to boy watch and make him jealous. Plus I need a new swimsuit."

I wondered how that worked, swimming and everything, with her mutation, but I decided not to make the upset mutant even more upset. But I mean, c'mon…it can't be easy. What if she's just swimming and accidentally kicks someone? Maybe water prevents permanent damage or something.

I agreed and we picked out Storm's car since Rogue said Scott had taken the Hummer out for an errand, and headed out to the nearest Waffle House. We ended up spending most of the day out, and it was nearing on 2:30 (ok, to me that's most of the day) when Rogue's phone started going crazy.

She squealed with delight and stared typing really fast. "It's Bobby! Can we go back now?"

I rolled my eyes and agreed. That's when I realized she never actually explained the whole Bobby situation with me after all. She was kind of using me, too! I mean, she dragged me out here and then she's done with me and things are peachy back home, so that's where she wants to go. Well, at least we had fun while it lasted, and I got a really cute pair of black boots.

0-0-0-0-

Back at the mansion, I went to put on my suit. Rogue insisted I go to the pool with her to make sure she didn't murder Bobby, and put my new shoes away, but I still couldn't find anyone. And the weather had yet to improve, so I was starting to wonder if this was Storms doing. Like maybe something terrible had happened so she was taking it out on the weather.

Rogue rushed into my room after dropping her bags off, "Come quick!" She shouted with excitement, grabbing me by the arm.

"Not cool, Rogue!" I yelled after her as she pulled me down the stairs and out the door. "Are you kidnapping me too? You X-men and your kidnapping!"

She just laughed in response and started to run faster, forcing me to do that same. As we went down the trail towards the lake, I started to figure out that something was up. There was something up ahead, if I could only see past the tree line…

I waited for an ambush of some sort. And I was right in doing so, but it wasn't_ that_ kind of ambush.

Once we made our way into the clearing, I saw everyone. And heard them too…

"SURPRISE!" They all were shouting. I felt my cheeks turn bright red – I wasn't very good with being the center of attention in big crowds. But everyone was there, all the same. Even Logan, smirking at my red face, while he leaned against a tree.

There were tables of food set up and even a little pile of gift – oh gah, gifts? This was…incredible! And to top it off, the sun, thanks to Storm, was coming out!

"You…" I wanted to say bastards, in a totally sarcastic way, but noted the children there. "got me so _good."_

I gave Storm a big hug, as she wished me "Happy Birthday!" Jean and Scott came up too, and Scott asked if I was surprised. Quoting a favorite line of mine from Christmas Vacation, I said, "Scott, if I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet I wouldn't be any more surprised than I am right now."

He chuckled and patted me on the back. "There's pizza and I'm going to be making burgers too."

"And you're wearing your suit, right?" Storm asked, as I noted her purple sarong and silver bikini top. See! It isn't too inappropriate to wear bikinis at the school!

"Yeah," I laughed, "How did…" I scanned the crowd for Logan, trying to piece things together. He was over by Rogue and Bobby – who were holding hands, and laughing. "No one knew!" I finally said.

"Hah, funny how that works, isn't?" She winked at me, "Let's go for a swim!"

"I'll meet you in the water, hold up a second though." She went off towards the rope swing, while I made my way over to Rogue, Bobby, & Logan. I crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows, "Wow, you're right Rogue, Bobby is an ass."

"Hey!" Bobby asked, looking at Rogue.

"Sorry babe," She put her arm around his waste, "I had to tell her somethin' to get her out of the house!"

0-0-

A shorty, yet again. I apologize, but I figure I make up for in because I update frequently. Hope you enjoyed!!

p.s. was down for anyone else last night? wouldn't let me update. NOT COOL.

Review, please! Noflames, thanks.


	12. Happy birthday, you fell for it!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

**So, your opinion…I'm off to school soon and I won't be updating as much, but I do have some chapters written in advance….mass chapter update, or should I make you wait and update when I can??**

Thanks for your lovely reviews!!

-=-=-

You could write a book on how  
To ruin someone's perfect day  
Well, I get so confused and frustrated  
Forget what I'm trying to say, oh

And here's to you and your temper  
Yes, I remember what you said last night  
And I know that you see what you're doing to me  
Tell me, why?

(Tell my why - Taylor Swift)

Rogue smiled at me and they both said happy birthday before heading over to the food. Now, it was just Logan and I. I smirked at him. "Some surprise party, huh?"

"You surprised?" He asked, sipping his beer.

"Where'd you get that?" He gestured to a cooler, where I grabbed a bottle and came back to the conversation. "So, I'm forced to ask…should I be thanking you?"

"Why do you think I had anything to do with this?"

"Logan, come on…" I smiled at him, "You're the only one who knew, so how else could word have gotten out?"

He shrugged and threw an arm around my shoulder, "You're very welcome, in that case. Take it all in!" He took a deep breath, and I waited for what I knew was coming next, "And it'd be an even better party if in one of those nicely wrapped gifts was a leather suit with an X on it."

"Oh Logan," I shook my head, "What're we going to do with you?"

"I've got some ideas." He turned his head at me and smirked, "They're not really party with a bunch of school children appropriate though."

Laughing, I pulled his arm off me, but held onto it. "Thank you, for this…I'm not overwhelmed with embarrassing attention and there is actually alcohol."

"Yeah well…enjoy it. I'll give you your day, but I'm not done harassin' you."

"I wouldn't expect it to stop. In fact, I can't believe you're going to let me go today after just one shot."

"Hell, you're getting' old, I don't want to send you into an early midlife crisis." I rolled my eyes at him and let go of his hand.

"_I'm_ old? Yeah, that's a funny one, and how old are you?"

"Fine, you win this one." He said, quite gruffly.

"Thanks."

"That's your birthday gift."

I nodded, "Lovely. So are you going to hit the waves?" I did a nerdy gesture of a surfer.

"No…"

Suddenly an awkward silence descended upon us. I decided to break it, "Well, I'll be swimming, if you need someone to drown."

Why would I say _that,_ of all things?

Luckily he just laughed and grabbed himself another beer.

-=-=-=-

After swimming there was plenty of food to be eaten, and cake, and of course – singing! Scott has a lovely singing voice…hmm...almost too good.

"Are you excited to see what we got you?" Storm asked, as we sat at a picnic table and ate cake.

"Hmm…I'm trying to remember the weirdest gift I've ever received and if you could possibly top it."

"Hey, you'll like this, I promise!"

"Well, I did receive a singing unicorn for my 5th birthday, so…"

"You did not!" She gasped, teasingly, since we both knew I didn't remember.

"You don't know that!"

"Scott – over here!" Storm called, waving him over. He was carrying a large, open cardboard box. And as he got closer, he said, "Happy Birthday, Piper!" Inside was a red labradoodle, who looked to be about 9 weeks old.

"NO WAY!" I exclaimed, kneeling next to the box – this was surreal.

-==-=-=-=

It was about 9 o'clock and since it was still one of those lazy summer days, the sun was just setting now. The party was over, cleaned up, and most people had gathered around the TV or gone off to do their own thing. That left Jean, Scott, Storm and myself on the outside patio with the new puppy.

We were debating over names, because all of my planning hadn't paid off – I realized none of the names seemed to fit this spunky little guy. I couldn't believe this had happened. This place was really becoming a home to me, and these people were really becoming my fast family members. Well most of them, anyways.

And Logan…he had to have told everyone about the way I'd wanted a puppy…I hadn't shut up about it! Nonstop, I just kept telling him about it. But only him. I never asked Xavier if it was ok, and I never mentioned it to Storm or Jean – he had to have told everyone.

And it was ok; Xavier talked to me about it at the party. So long as, once school was in session again, he stayed away from the dorms of the kids and the classrooms. Most kids would be ok, and any with problems just wouldn't be able to have the dog in their bedroom, which wasn't really an issue.

"I can't believe this…this night has been too much." I said, holding the little guy on my lap.

"Are you happy with your surprises?" Scott asked, his arm around Jean's waist.

"You can't guess how surprised I am."

"He kind of looks like an Enrique." Jean suggested.

I didn't need to comment on this name, considering the randomness, "How about Ricky?" I said out loud. "Wait, scratch that. No human names, after all, a student could show up with that name and it'd be weird."

"Too true." Storm agreed.

"But I don't get it…how did you all know? I mean, this is probably a really dumb question, considering that you're a psychic Jean and so is the professor. I just gotta ask though." I needed to hear it, I needed to hear them say, "Logan, the sneaky bastard….he likes you!" Because that's what they'd think, right? I needed to hear what their impression of Logan and how he felt about me was, since he planned all of this.

"No mind reading, I swear!" Jean put her hands up in defense, and then reached foreword to pet him. "He's red, how about Jean?" She teased.

"He needs a masculine name." This came from Scott.

"It was kind of by accident, that this all fell together. I stumbled upon your birthday when I was putting your file together for the professor – we keep hard copies because, well, you can't be too safe. – about 3 days ago. And when I told Jean, the idea of a party just seemed too perfect."

"Wait, you…you found out when my birthday was in a file?" No way, they were just covering. Right?

"Yeah, the one you filled out when you first got here…all of the information?"

"Oh. I remember that one." So, Logan took credit for all of this stuff, when he had _nothing_ to do with it? This wasn't him being an asshole to be an asshole; this was him being an asshole to get further into my good graces or something because he didn't think I'd ever find out!

"As for the dog," Scott said, "We couldn't imagine what to get you – Rogue & Bobby and some of the other kids all decided on the iTouch so there went that big idea. Then Bobby mentioned you discussing dog names with Logan the other day."

By the pool…when I tried to convince Logan that a dog was a great idea. I hadn't realized they could hear us…

"You ok, there? You turned kind of pale."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." I lied, leaning in to pet the pup closer, "Just really, really surprised." Oh Logan…I couldn't even begin to comprehend you. I think you're this awful guy, then a great guy, then a liar….

I mean, the dog thing was my fault – I had assumed that he'd put the dog thing together. So shame on me for giving him that credit. But the whole party, he'd stood there and lied to me about…

It was then and there that I decided I was done with Logan. No more. I wasn't going to even let him make me angry. He could taunt me about the team all he wanted – I was dunzo with him. Completely. I'm swearing off Logan.

I just needed to, you know, get away from him. Not ignore him; just not respond to him so much. It was just so frustrating and annoying! Just when I starting to think, you know, woah, Logan is being nice, maybe we'll be ok, maybe we can, you know, function around each other – he turns out to be a little liar. (Ok, there is no context in which Logan + little seems appropriate. Well, not that I know of at the moment…Oh you know what I mean!)

And true, I knew he was a jerk but I was just starting to think that maybe it was sort of like an act. A little, get-to-know-me act, a strange one, but c'mon, people are strange. I'm strange, so I would know.

Was I a little hurt by this? Maybe. If I felt like admitting it. I don't know why I'm hurt by this, or even surprised. I act like a brat to him and he acts like a brat right back. It's to be expected. But I had yet to lie to him like that and make him happier about something.

Did he know it made me happier? What was he hoping to achieve by telling me that? Ok, self, come on…you're reading way to much into this and making it a much bigger deal than it needs. And besides, mental obsession and anger towards him would be just as bad as if I actually went up to his room and screamed at him right now like I wanted to, and I won't give him the satisfaction of that.

"Ugh, what are we going to call you!" I exclaimed, picking the nameless guy up and looking at him. This was hopeless…

All of it.

0-0-0-

Review, please! Noflames, thanks!


	13. Sittin' at a bar on the inside

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Thank you guys…your reviews are so great and they really keep me going…expect another update tomorrow…but only if you want one…

0-0-0-0-

_We are all our own devil  
We are all our own devil  
And we make this world  
We make this world our hell..._

(Company of Thieves - Oscar Wilde)

I knew why I was so mean to Logan, though I'd constantly be questioning myself. Or at least, I psychoanalyzed myself and came up with an answer I could understand.

One weekend during the summer after my freshman year of college, Asa and I had a HUGE blowout. I was having one of my mutant headaches, something I usually got after holding my powers in completely for weeks on end. Another result of my mutation was mutant hunger, where my stomach was a bottomless pit.

Yeah, funny, right? That's actually part of my mutation. Something with my powers absorbing the foods and everything and so I become hungrier blah blah. I don't know. Xavier explained it the other day at breakfast when I was chowing down on my second breakfast sandwich. It turned out that during my first few weeks at the school where I wasn't eating so much, my mutation was weakening, and since I wasn't that strong there was nothing to give me a headache…once again, blah blah blah.

Ok so, anyways, we had gone out to eat and she had two beers so she didn't want to drive. I had an awful mutant headache and didn't want to drive, and so we started arguing about it. I ended up saying "Well I _hate _you!" And it was immature but I was frustrated and angry. I knew it was a horrible thing to say, and I took it back right away, but the can of worms had been opened. We started screaming at each other, screeching all the way home, me driving.

She had screamed at me, "Don't take all your frustrations at life and your anger at where you are on me!" I ignored it at the time and screamed back in denial. It got ugly. We made up the next day and everything got better eventually, but she was right. And here I was again. Miserable at life and so I was taking it out on everything around me. Maybe that story was pointless, but I felt it needed to be told.

Asa was gone and it wasn't the way it was supposed to be. She was a cop, it was understood that she would be in the line of fire at times. She was supposed to die on the job, if not of old age. There wasn't supposed be a random incident involving doing a favor for a friend that would take her life. It wasn't fair and I couldn't get over my anger.

The thing was, I was happy here, I honestly was. I was so thankful for being here, but why did I have to lose so much to get here? And Logan, hell he pushed back. So I pushed and pushed and yelled and snapped. I was a bitch. I couldn't act that way towards Storm or Jean because they didn't fight me and they'd take it personally and I'd lose them. Someday, I knew, I'd lose Logan too. But right now, he just took it and argued back. It didn't make it ok, it didn't make it right…but it made me feel a little bit more alive…like I was a little bit beyond all those terrible things that had happened to me. (Obviously now it was a different game entirely because he lied about the party, but you get the picture.)

Sometimes I could imagine that Asa was still here, that I got this job at the school and she was back in Philadelphia working at her job. In fact, remembering was easy…it was the times that I forgot she was gone that were hard…

After a day of debate, little dog finally was named. Actually, it wasn't really named, as in, a name just stuck. I lamely decided to call him Di-oh-gee. Because, well, all names just weren't clicking for his spunky, bed wetting personality. And as for his annoying traits, Logan was already taken. Though, trust me, I was seriously tempted, because how much do you think that would mess with him and piss him off?

But I swore off Logan, remember? So, nope. Di-oh-gee it was. And he liked it. Within a few days he started to figure out that it was he we were talking to – or really, yelling at because he as so not trained yet.

As for my decision about the team…Scott and I had been talking about it a lot lately. He had been making some really good points as to why it would be good for me, and he was actually making sense. So, while I hadn't exactly decided that yes, I would join the team, I was seriously considering it.

Tomorrow there would be a training session Scott would be holding and he invited me along to try it out, or simply sit and watch. He surprised me by talking to me about it, because I had started to assume that he, like Logan, had ulterior motives, but he was actually genuinely interested in helping me.

I still thought he was kind of a girly guy, but don't tell Jean that.

--0-0-

That night, Jean, Storm, Scott, Logan & I decided to go out to a bar. The Phillies were on that night playing against the Cubs and they'd won yesterdays game so I didn't want to miss it. But Storm shut me up quickly by reminding me that Jean would put me through horrible wedding related torture the next day if I didn't agree to go.

And so I put Rogue and Bobby on Di-oh-gee duty, and picked out my outfit. I chose to wear a pair of my grey skinny jeans, black flip flops, and black tank top with my hair down and straightened. I know, not too fancy, but it was just a bar, and I wasn't looking for anything.

There was a bus stop a few blocks from the school by a CVS and strip mall where we all headed to wait, because we decided not to drive for obvious reasons. As we walked, Storm and I started talking about Tony.

"So," I whispered, knowing he was still a secret, "How's the BIG T?"

"Wow, what a nickname." She laughed, and sighed, "He's good, you know. Actually, great. And I'm great. I just hate sneaking around about it. I don't think my excuse of meeting up with my cousin Loretta in the city is going to keep working."

I scrunched my face and tucked my hands in my pockets, "Do you trust him? I mean, obviously you do, if you're willing to drive all the way out there to see him all the time…"

"I trust him, yeah. Its not that…I mean, he asks to come to meet everyone all the time. I just don't know that it would be the best idea to bring some strange man to a school full of children."

"You could always just plan a big dinner and we could all get together then."

"Hmm…" She chewed her lip and looked over at Scott and Logan who were arguing so badly that even Jean was getting involved. "Maybe that would work. I'm kind of nervous for you guys to meet him though."

I thought it over and asked the question I'd been thinking about for a while, "What does he do for a living?"

"He's the Sales Manager of Healthycorp. They make hospital supplies and lights and stuff…it's a random job. He's always traveling for it and stuff, but he's good at it."

"So, he's got a safe job…he's a..er..provider…"

"Ok," She put up a hand, "Don't do the whole dad-meets-daughters-date –for-the-first-time thing here. I appreciate it and everything, I do, but…I'm not a terrible judge of character. That's not what worries me."

I didn't even realize I was doing that whole dad/date thing. Funny the way it is.

"Ok, well what does worry you?" We were at the bus stop now, but instead of waiting on the bench with everyone else, she dragged me away to the side and whispered her reply.

"He's not a mutant."

"Woah, wait…that matters?" I asked, kind of surprised. I guess I hadn't really thought of it.

She ran her hands through her hair, clearly frustrated, "I'm fine with it. I could care less! But while it might not matter to you, everyone else might not be so open minded."

Just then a bus pulled up and we got on, Storm and I sitting together by a window, continuing to whisper.

"Well, they're your friends. They're not supposed to judge you. If they do, screw 'em and get new friends. Oh, but don't literally screw 'em, because I don't think that will send the right message across."

She laughed, "Well, I'm still trying to figure it all out."

"You should at least tell everyone about it, and maybe leave the non mutant part out, if you're really concerned about it. Eventually, if you guys are really serious, it's got to come out…"

"Pfft, don't worry about that," She said, rolling her eyes, "we haven't even used the L word. And its not a big deal or anything, its still kind of soon, but if we do say it, how pissed can you imagine Jean will be? 'You're in love and you didn't even tell me you're dating someone!'" She screeched, a perfect imitation of mother/angry Jean.

We laughed as the bus pulled to our stop. Once we got out, Jean lead the way to a neon lit bar called The Pike, which was pretty swanky. Plenty of tables and even a stage where a mediocre guy was setting up to sing some pretty terrible cover songs, (well that was a guess) and pool tables and some booths.

Storm and I sat at barstools since they had the baseball game on a TV, while Jean, Scott & sat at a booth. As far as the whole, swearing off Logan thing goes, it was going great. At first, he was acting like I owed him something because of the party. When he figured out that I wasn't biting, he finally backed off, and even stopped taunting me.

I don't know if someone clued him on in the fact that I figured out how he lied or not, but he gave up, just like I did. Que sera, sera, or you know, all that bullshit.

We ordered funky drinks, not beers, since we had the opportunity, and we were all having a great time. And things were going along just fine until Storm decided to get up and go to the bathroom.

This dude was tall and skinny and too blonde for me to be interested, but he did have a great smile and I liked his blue eyes. Oh, I'm describing the guy who decided to come and get all in my buiz-nass at the bar. I had been turned towards Storms empty seat that and he leaned right over it, and I couldn't turn behind me because there was a couple getting too friendly for me.

"I hope you don't mind, but I noticed your drink was empty so I took the liberty of getting you a fresh one." He had a slight accent I noticed, and an issue with boundaries, because he leaned in closer as he spoke, and was not put off my face I was making at him.

"Yeah, no that's ok, I'm fine." I tried to push my stool back when he suddenly presented me with another drink.

"Well, last night I bought a girl this drink she took her top off, right at this very bar – soo_o_ I bought _yooou _two." He winked as he put them in front of me. Uh, gross.

"Well, uh, my boyfriend wouldn't like me taking my top off for other guys."

"Oh yeah? And who's that? I don't see a man on your arm, and he's a fool if he let you go for a few seconds."

Really? Sometimes I forgot that in the real world people actually talked like this.

"He's here, all right…" I scanned the room. Jean and Scott were talking to the musician as he was setting up and Logan was just sliding into the empty booth now, coming back from the bathroom. Ok, gods of all relationships, forgive me for this, but here goes…"There!" I exclaimed, "Thanks for getting us the drinks though." I picked up the two glasses filled with a white and tan looking drink and headed towards the table, all with Blondie watching.

"Here I am! With gifts!" I announced, holding up the glasses, Logan raised his eyebrows but didn't comment as I slid into the booth next to him. "Its great to see you again…" What a strange thing for me to see. Oh well. I slid the drink to him and noticed out of the corner of my eye the Blondie had taken my seat.

"You're awfully friendly tonight."

"Yeah, well, you know, those solar eclipses' and such…. they can really change a persons mood."

"You should see me during a full moon." He joked back, draping his arm across my shoulders. Ok, not really my shoulders but the booth. "I'm about to beat Scott in a game of pool, want to join me? Jean can be on his team."

"Oh, uh, I'm really rubbish at pool. And I'm not being modest in any way. I'm terrible. Like, I've hurt more people with a pool queue than I've hit balls." Uh. "Wait, that sounded dirty for some reason."

He laughed and gave me a slight nudge so I'd scoot out of the booth. Blondie had his back to me but once Logan got out he turned his attention back to me. Most girls would tell him to shove it, but Logan was a big dude and I figured he'd scare him off enough for me. "You know what, I'll watch though. You look like you could use a cheering section." I said, grabbing his arm and walking towards the pool table.

I had been keeping up the act for quite some time, when Storm came up to me and announced that Tony was picking her up and that she was a little drunk. In fact, she didn't need to announce it, we all were. This act was getting easier to pull off the more I did it. But…I didn't even think the blonde guy was here anymore. Yeah, he left with some chick about an hour ago…

Yet I kept up the act of being Logan's girlfriend and he didn't comment on how weird it was.

Oh, and the Phillies won that game too.

)_)_

hahaha, Healthycorp is based off of a company called Health Corp…I was at the dentist and the overhead lights they used are made by them, so…yay ideas!

Please review! Noflames,thanks!


	14. Take It Outside

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ah finally! Logan & Piper action!!! Agh, I know, took me forever…but there's more to come…!!

I have the best reviewers ever….

--0-0

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole

Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound

But while you debate half empty or half full

It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

(Death Cab for Cutie – Marching Bands of Manhattan)

Logan was helping me back to my room later that night, though he was almost as drunk as me. I wasn't so bad, that I was going to be sick, but everything turned into a joke and I was having trouble controlling the volume of my voice. Logan on the other hand was having trouble controlling his hands, because they were going everywhere. When we'd walked up the stairs he held me by the waist the whole way, and as we went to my room, he followed closely, his hands on my back.

Finally, at the door to my room they slid lower and he leaned in and took a deep breath. I stopped at my door and closed my eyes, enjoying the closeness of him to me, taking in his scent of the bar and cigars and of course, leather. I leaned back and he kissed my neck, lifting the back of my shirt and feeling the bare skin of my back. His hands were warm and he kissed me in a way that made me feel like I could collapse right there in the hallway. He turned me towards him, hands on my hips, and stared at me. Then, before I could even gather my wits he leaned in and we kissed again, slowly. I pulled back for some reason then, and he rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes and simply breathing.

It was then I noticed my heads were wrapped around his neck. "Mmm…" Was all I heard, as we swayed in my doorway. What was going on here? I couldn't comprehend it all. It was blurry, it was fast, it was too clear & slow. Logan. Me. Kissing. My room was right there…

"Logan," I whispered to him, "I'm going to bed now. In my bed. In my clothes." I say weird things when I'm sober, so, you know, this is to be expected.

"Alright," He whispered back, kissing me one last time, opening his eyes and letting me go, "'Night there, Piper Kirby." He waved awkwardly and went into his own room. I pushed at the door and turned the handles a few times with no luck, too busy laughing at myself to notice how dumb I was acting.

"You're an idiot." Jean muttered, sneaking up besides me and turning the knob. I giggled as she followed me inside. "Go to bed!"

"I am but not with you!" I shouted, hopping on the bed and kicking my left shoe.

"You have to fix what you just did!" She exclaimed. I ignored her and kicked my right shoe, causing it to fly and hit the wall right next to her head. Quickly she went and shut the door. "I saw how you pretended to like Logan tonight – that was ridiculous!"

Jean had been drinking too but not half as much as the rest of us, or so I thought. Maybe she was just an angry drunk? Yeah, that was probably it.

"I didn't. I did. But there was this guy, and things went all urgh, and so I did! But shh, ok? Why make this a big deal."

"You can't play with him like that – either love him or hate him but be honest with him!"

I glared at her, "Shut up."

"No, I won't shut up! You tell him the truth – that you faked the whole thing!"

"It wasn't sex Jean, I don't have to fake anything or admit anything! Mind your own business!"

"You mind yours!" She snapped and walked out of my door slamming it behind her.

"That doesn't make sense!" I yelled, following her. Scott was standing there in his boxer and bathrobe – haha – saying, "Jean, can we put off the yelling until tomorrow?"

Logan's door open and there he was in his boxers too – a boxer party! Why was Scott wearing boxers? I've heard of girls wearing boxers before but this was weird. "What's the shouting about?" He growled, surveying the scene.

"Ask Piperoni here!" Jean went to point to me but poked me instead, so I grabbed her finger and held it to her lips.

"Good girl, shush up now!" I taunted. Oh I was a huge bitch when I wanted to be.

"Jean-" Scott tried again.

"Hah! Piperoni – I like that!" Logan commented.

"Logan you thought she was being so nice to you tonight because she liked you, but she was just pretending to like you because some guy was annoying her so she pretended she was there with you."

Thanks Jean.

No worries though. Its not like anyone was going to pay attention to her or what she was saying, right?

Logan curled his lip and said "Goodnight everyone." Slamming his door shut.

"Thank you Jean. Lookin' hot there, Scott." I nodded at them both and slammed my door.

Too much alcohol tonight for any thinking whatsoever. And so I threw on a baggy t-shirt and shorts and passed out in bed.

0-0-0-

The next morning everyone was silent at the breakfast table, even Storm who had shown up extra early for some reason. Logan wouldn't even look at me, which would have been grand had I still been playing "swear off the Logan" but after last night's first goodnight, I didn't want to anymore.

Storm looked ready to fall asleep and Jean and Scott were nitpicking at every little thing the other was doing. I devoured my McDonalds breakfast sandwich that Storm brought back and went to get ready for the training room session I agreed on. I was going to be sweating pure alcohol, I knew it, but I wasn't going to shower just to work out.

I took Di-oh-gee to the bathroom outside, which he was still struggling to figure out and let him run around the school while I went to the gym. Kitty promised to keep an eye on him, even though I hadn't asked. It seemed like the young'uns liked the dog half as much as me.

-0-0-0

The session was fun to watch, and I hadn't gotten involved at all, so that was lucky. About halfway through, though, Scott got called to speak with Xavier and Logan had to take his place. Just great!

"Hey," Rogue said, flopping on the ground next to John, "We need like, a 5 minute breather."

"Why don't you fight Surge or something, she's just been standing there for the past hour watching." John said, staring at me.

Logan crossed his arms, "You guys are lazy. And Surge doesn't want to break a nail. We're just going to pretend she isn't even here."

Ouch.

"Harsh ." Rogue mumbled. I just rolled my eyes though and continued leaning on the wall.

Logan cocked his head to the side and got a funny smile on his face. "You know," He said, "Pyro there might be on to something. Why don't we demonstrate for everyone what you can't do? Or are you too afraid?"

"I'm terrified. That's the stupidest thing you've ever asked." I pushed off the wall and walked over to him. "You're just trying to get me worked up so I use my powers in front of everyone and embarrass myself."

"Fine then, no powers. You don't need them to embarrass yourself."

I sighed and thought it over. At least I was dressed for this; black shorts, yellow t-shirt and Nike's. But that wasn't the point; I didn't want to do this in front of the kids.

Then again, I did have a lot of pent up Logan anger and this was a good excuse to get it out. "Fine. No powers. Who am I fighting? You, right?"

"No offense, Surge, but Wolverine's got huge muscles-" Rogue tried to say, but I stopped her.

"I know. " I smiled at her, "But I've got my brains." And a plan.

-0-0-

Logan smiled at me, as I fell to the ground with a grunt. This was not going too well. So far, he'd been getting in winning shot after winning shot – no real damage – but way more than I was. I kept fighting though, sweating & smelling like alcohol like I predicted.

He bent over me to tease me and I somehow, magically, was able to reverse the position and pulled him down too, flipping him on his back. Now, I was the one straddling him, finally winning. I reached to grab his arms and pin them when he flipped me again, knee on my stomach.

I raised my head weakly, and let it flop back down. Enough already!

The kids, who'd been cheering and booing the whole time let out a chorus of boos. "Ok, monkey, monkey! YOU WIN!" I shouted, pushing his knee off me to no avail. But he wasn't smiling out of triumph or anything like that he was just staring at me, eyes hard, lips in a thin line. He closed his eyes for a second, hiding some feeling, and got up, pulling me along with me.

"Class dismissed. Go shower, you all smell." He called, pulling me out of the gym. We went through a set of double doors and out onto the back lawn.

"Let go of me already, you won, that doesn't mean you get to shove me around. It means you get to gloat – that's it!" I said, still catching my breath. He let go and stomped forward, than back, pacing.

"What the hell was that?"

"What? That was you beating me up – how is that something YOU get to be angry about? Its no surprise, is it? You winning. _Hellooo."_ I gestured to his muscles.

"No, that bullshit was you faking it, once again." His voice was full of anger, surprising me. "What a surprise." This last part he said more to himself.

"Look…I'm sorry about last night. I really am, ok? It started out as fake, yeah, that guy was bugging me. And I'm sorry that I used you like that. But we had a lot of fun together, genuine fun. It was real, I promise. And I truly do suck at pool."

He looked at me than away again, "Well." He put his hands on his hips and stopped walking, staring at the forest.

"Well?"

Logan shook his head, "You can't…"

"Spit it out. Please?" I tried.

"Last night was the first time…Never mind. Just forget it happened. Its that simple."

I had all these smart comments begging to jump out, but something in me clicked. This was semi-honest confession. So, shut up self, and let the Wolverine speak!

"Its not simple at all! Please, don't take it back. I had fun too, real, honest to blog, fun."

"Did you just say honest to blog?"

"Sorry…Juno was on in the Kitchen before I came down to the sessions. And I don't like saying God if I can help it, y'know…gotta show some respect." I shrugged.

He let out a deep breath. "Fine. I don't…take it back. But lets just put it behind us, ok? Lets talk about how you honestly did fake what went on in that gym."

"Why are are putting it behind us? Which part? The 5 minutes of me faking or the real stuff?"

Gah, all this talk about faking it and I have such a dirty mind…

"Piper!" He snapped, shaking his head in frustration, "It doesn't matter, does it? Not after that show you just put on."

"Yeah, ok, and explanation would be helpful. Sorry I'm not Einstein, I haven't quite figured out what you're saying without saying anything yet. Full sentences, with as much detail as possible."

"Cut the sarcasm. The kids might not have been aware of it, but you threw in the towel there. You lost that fight on purpose."

0-0-0

Ok, kind of a cliffhanger. Kind of. As in…obviously huge things are about to result as of this conversation/argument they're having. Huge! GINORMOUS! Like the toilets in Elf! Haha.

Anyways, I'll try to update as soon as possible. I'm off to school tomorrow…grr…the thought alone fills me with bezerker rage. So, I'm not sure when I'll get a chance, but the next 4 chapters are already written so…I just need the time and internet/computer!

Hope you've enjoyed this!

Please review! No flames, thanks!


	15. Retreating & Advancing

So here I am, back at school…sorry for the lack of update, but I warned ya…its sucks, not being able to update. Stupid school doesn't even have wi-fi so I can only get internet at my desk and blah blah blah.

Anyways…University is…well different. Its my second year. I transferred. Its lonely. But…you gotta do what you gotta do to make your life better.

Anyway, anyone on **twitter?** Interested in followin' eachother? Drop me a line or mention it in a review…that'd be cool…

Hope you enjoy, and thanks for the reviews & stickin' with me.

-0-0-0

For all that we struggle

for all we pretend

it don't come down to nothing

except love in the end

and ours is a road

that is strewn with goodbyes

but as it unfolds

as it all unwinds

remember your soul is the one thing

you can't compromise

take my hand

we're gonna go where we can shine

(David Grey – Shine)

0-0-0- New

"How do you figure that? Its because I'm obviously so much stronger than you, right?" I put my hands on my hips now.

"Even if you knew I was stronger than you, you clearly just gave up. You lost on purpose."

I studied him and decided to ruin everything and be honest. "Yeah. You're right, I did."

His mouth opened in surprise, his eyes widening as well. He clearly wasn't ready for that bit of truth. "So. You admit it then."

"Yeah, I do. I haven't been training, I don't know how to fight, and I was just going to embarrass myself even more if I kept it up. Big deal. "

"That's not why you did it, Piper." He was calmer this time when he spoke, taking a few, slow, steady steps closer to me. I thought about how close we were last night and how I wanted us to be that close again, and how yes, I did like it. I thought about how I wished things were so different, that he was different, and that maybe we could try and just be something. Instead, I shook my head.

"I don't know-"

"You don't want people to think you're strong. And I don't mean physically – but you could have kept that fight going. You gave up, you just stopped trying. So that everyone would think you're a terrible fighter, you're weak. When maybe you're not. Because you think that if they see you're not what you're pretending to be, they'll force you to join the team. They'll bug you about it like I do – they'll see how right I am."

Quite the speech, huh.

"Yeah." I nodded, and looked away. "You're right."

We were both silent then.

"I can't make you join the team, and I can't make you like me. I give up, Piper, you win. Don't join the team, and you don't have to worry about me." He took a step back and shook his head, almost defeated.

"I do like you…I do but…why do you even care?" I threw my arms out by my sides.

"What do you mean, why do I care? The answer is pretty damn obvious, you'd think." He was back to sounding annoyed again.

"You go around poking and prodding me, picking at everything and commenting on everything I do or say – you don't exactly act like you like me."

"I don't? _I don't?_ What about you? You've always got something to say. And you pretended to like me last night just to scare some guy off."

"You lied about my birthday party! You took credit for everything." My voice rose a bit as I fought back. I was surprised that he was so offended about last night; I didn't think that something like that would affect Logan. But then again, it seemed like I had been underestimating my entire affect on him.

"I just trying to get on your good side, assuming it exists."

"Oh what is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you're the most self-centered person I know. All you do is think about yourself and how you feel and what is going on in your life. Maybe if you'd open your eyes a bit you'd see that there are other people who exist who want to talk too, about themselves, maybe."

"If I'm so self centered, why try to get on my good side?"

"I was just trying to help. I get that terrible things have happened in your life, I understand that you need time to get over that. So fine, obsess over it. But don't be an idiot when people are trying to help you."

I took a deep breath. Oh wait…things were kind of falling into place. A bit.

"You have a funny way of helping. And besides, I don't mean to be so self centered. I really don't. I am sorry about that. But you, your definition of help is a horrible one."

"It's my nature, take me as I am." He threw his arms up and shrugged.

I stepped towards him, "Regardless, you don't lie about my birthday and take credit for that. You want me to like you or be nice to you, be nice back! Maybe then I wouldn't need to be such a bitch. Maybe I wouldn't have to be so self centered if I wasn't so alone!"

Our eyes met, and I opened my mouth to speak, but no sound came out. That's when I realized what the look was that I was seeing in his eyes, it wasn't pity, it was recognition.

I hadn't meant to say that, not really. It sounds too pitiful. You're not supposed to say out loud the things you think to yourself when no one is looking.

"Don't…look at me that way Ok." I put up my finger. "I'm sorry, I am. For all of it. Just – forget it." I started to turn away when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, making us chest to chest.

"I know how that feels. And I'm sorry too, for being an ass." He shrugged and licked his lips, "But I'm not going to apologize for bugging you about joining the team and for liking you."

"Yeah, well, I can't promise you that I'll ever want to join the team. So you have to decide if that's ok with you, cuz I like you too."

"Ever?" He questioned.

"No. That's not true." I pulled my arm free and grabbed both of his hands. "I actually decided last night that I wanted to join. Scott had been talking to me about it lately, and after watching the practice today I'm even more sure of it."

"WHAT?" He shouted. "Piper…" He took a deep breath. "Then what-"

"I know how to push your buttons, ok? And well…" I bit my lip. "Logan, how about-"

"You're joining the team? Yeah?" He asked again. I waited for him to say, eh? Eh? Or something along those lines. "And you like me? Huh."

He pulled his left arm free and scratched his chin, while I watched in curiosity. What the hell is going on inside his head right now?

"Lo-" I started, but he cut me off, picking up by the waist and kissing me. I pulled away and laughed, and then went in for more, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"You've made me very happy today, Piper Kirby."

We spun a little, kissed some more, and he finally put me down. With his arms around my waist and mine around his neck, I commented, "You're very strong, you know? I didn't stand a chance in that gym."

He laughed this time. "I saved up most of my energy for that grand gesture right there."

I kissed him quick, "It was wonderful. I can't say that anyone's actually ever picked me up and spun me around before."

"Glad I was your first." He teased. "So, have you told the professor yet?"

I shook my head, as we held hands and walked towards the door. "Nope. I told you, it was really random."

"Let's go tell him then. He dragged me inside and towards the elevators.

"Fine. But afterwards, I'm taking a shower and eating a cow."

"Fine."

"Hey," I asked as we walked on, "Are you only admitting you like me because I said I'd join the team?"

"Nah, I was about to let it slip eventually." He said with a smirk.

0-0-0-0-

Xavier was thrilled, but not surprised, it was clear to both Logan and myself that he knew that this was coming. After he welcomed me to the team, we set up training room sessions with Logan for every other day, bright and early and danger room sessions with the kids on the days that I wouldn't be training. My body was already aching at the thought of it.

After a quick shower, I threw on my plaid blue Bermuda shorts, blue tank top because of the sweltering heat, and pulled my hair back. I headed to the kitchen in search of massive amounts of food.

Logan liked me! I liked him! I was in 11th grade again and happy as ever! Ok, not really in 11th grade, but you know what I meant. I hadn't been in a relationship in forever, and Logan liked me and I liked him and I liked to kiss him and it felt great and he smelt great and he felt great and-

"Lets go somewhere with good food." Speak of the rascally devil, Logan walked into the kitchen, snuck up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You know, whispering in my ear like that could be bad for your health." I warned, recognizing the buzzing of my powers inside of me. He pulled away and I followed. "Where are we going to go?"

"Well, I figure we should go on a date, you know. A real one."

"Ah." I smiled. "That's original. I like it."

-0-0

I hopped on the back of the bike, remembering the last time I was here, and shrugged it off. This was totally new. And different. And I know, things were going great right now, and that they were supposed to at first and that they'd probably fall apart sooner rather than later, but I couldn't help it. This was wonderful. I was on the back of a motorcycle with a guy I genuinely liked – even the asshole part of him – so for now…screw everything that could possibly go wrong!

Cuz for the first time in what seemed like forever, that ache in my heart wasn't there.

-0-0-0

Hope you liked it! A lil corny, but sometimes I can't help myself - I just wanted them to be happy! YAY HAPPINESSSS!! Cuz, y'know, someone should be. Hahaha.

Please review! No flames, thanks!

P.S. I had the HARDEST time uploading this. Sorry if formatting is strange...


	16. Soft Shock

Thanks for your reviews! Hope you enjoy this!!

-0-0-0-0-

If I told you things I did before

Told you how I used to be

Would you go along with someone like me?

If you knew my story word for word

Had all of my history

Would you go along with someone like me?

(Young Folks - Peter Bjorn & John)

-0-0-0-

Everything was going great. We went to an outside eatery, where we got a pizza and french fries. Logan could eat as much as me, it seemed, but today I was ready to prove I could eat forever. Things were going great, la di da, until I had to open my big trap.

"Do you ever wonder what's worse, having your memories and having them be painful, or having no memories at all?" I took a sip of my soda.

"Where did that come from?" He asked, eating some fries.

"It's a question that just, you know, drives me crazy."

"Why? I mean, do you think about that a lot?"

I shrugged.

"I may never know. All I know is, I must have been really bad to a lot of people for no one to come looking for me again." He kind of looked away as he said this, as if trying really hard to remember something.

"That's not necessarily true. What if you left and then lost your memory, so they had no reason to look for you? What if you're the only one left who survived a traumatic incident and then you had no memory so there was no one around to look for you?"

I didn't like to think that maybe Logan had a whole other life out there. A wife and kids, maybe, who believed him to be dead? Because, here goes selfish Piper again, what if they came back and took him away from the school? From me? I know, I sound too attached for someone in a relationship for 5 minutes, but c'mon, that would suck either way, relationship or not.

"Uh, what was that last part?"

"Its possible."

"Yeah, well, maybe."

"You know, some doctors think that if you don't remember something its your brain taking over, protecting you. I read about it. There is a disorder called a Conversion Disorder. It's when something really terrible happens to you that your mind had to block out, and instead you feel physical pain."

"Do you research this a lot? And by the way, I don't feel any physical pain."

"Yeah well, me neither."

"Huh?" He asked, a confused look on his face.

"I mean, I don't know what I mean. I also, uh, didn't look it up by choice. I did a project on it."

"I don't have a Conversion Disorder. In fact, I'm pretty sure the memories aren't even in there anymore. The professor has looked and tried to help me, and nothing."

"Sorry, if this is a sore subject."

"Why would it be? I can't remember anything to be sore about." But the look on his face said otherwise.

"Well you never did answer my question. What do you think is worse?"

"Who knows? I guess I'd have to get my memories back to figure that out."

"I guess." Was all I said with a sigh, and he then turned the conversation back to the dog.

"Its kind of like the schools dog now, everyone loves him – you got lucky."

And I did.

0-0-0-0-0

We got back to the school, shared a kiss good evening, and went our separate ways. I went off to let Di-oh-gee out and Kitty took him from me again, and then I had to go with Jean and Storm to meet Scott's sister and pretend I was hungry enough for dinner. (Psh, pretend?) And Logan went off to do whatever it was he said, something about something. I think it was beat Scott up, but who knows.

His sister's name was Ever and she was the female version of Scott, if only in looks. When we arrived at the restaurant, immediately after introductions she hugged each of us. It was actually a really nice meal, easy to handle and what not. We went to this bistro where we also got to eat outside under little umbrellas. It was the perfect summer night too, not too hot, not too cool. It made me dread the coming months ahead, when all of this would end.

While Jean and Ever caught up on each other's lives, I filled Storm in on everything that had happened in the past 24 hours that she didn't know about.

"So I did see you holding hands this morning! I thought you were slapping each other or something weird." She said with a roll of her eyes.

I laughed, "Yeah, funny how that works, innit? I mean, yesterday we hated each other – hell, this morning we hated each other. And now we're…dating."

"That's wonderful! Finally. I mean, no offense but this was eventual. Logan doesn't hang around people he truly hates and he was always hanging around you."

"Shut up!" I gasped, "So all this time you knew he liked me and didn't bother telling me?"

"Well now, that would ruin the surprise, wouldn't it?" She raised her eyebrows and took a sip of her wine.

Jean chose that moment to butt in. "Did I just hear you say you've gone on a date with Logan?"

"Maybe." I replied, being vague on purpose. I was still sore at her attitude last night, and blurting that out to Logan.

Just then Ever's cell went off and she excused her self to answer it.

"Don't be like that." Jean sighed in frustration, "Logan is my friend, he had to know the truth, and come on, please don't make me admit that maybe I had too much to drink."

"No," I said, "I had too much to drink. You were just being a bitch."

\

]

Her lips went into a thin line, and after a beat she finally spoke, "You can't be mad at me for telling him the truth-"

"The truth? I was only pretending for like, 5 minutes. You put your nose where it didn't belong."

Storm held up her hands, "I hate to get involved in these things, but c'mon, we're trying to have a nice meal here. And Jean, you shouldn't have said anything to Logan, because honestly you made a big deal out of nothing. But Piper, you shouldn't have used him unless it was obvious enough for him to know. See? Now you're both in the wrong. But the truth is, whenever alcohol is involved, lines are always blurred. We need to put this behind us before Ever gets back and things we're a bunch of high school brats."

"What a speech! Bravo!" I laughed, clapping. "Fine," I turned my attention back to Jean, "I'm sorry that you think I would be so mean, when really, I was only half as mean. No, not even half, like, a pinch of as mean as you thought."

Jean bit her lip, "I'm sorry I screeched at you and ratted you out, I hadn't drank that much in a long time."

"You seemed ok to me." I said.

"Yeah, that's because you've never seen Jean drink before." Storm rolled her eyes, "She becomes this evil other half of herself. Its strange."

"I do not! I am not evil!" Jean argued, "I only get mean sometimes."

"Most of the time," Storm argued, as Ever came back and sat down with us.

"Sorry about that, you know, home issues and all."

"No problem." Storm said, picking up her menu.

"Are you really dating Logan?" Jean asked, steering the conversation back to the original topic.

"Well, we went on a date, so. I don't know that I'd call it dating, except that I know he likes me and I like him. So. There you have it."

"Sheesh, took you two long enough!"

"That's exactly what I said!" Storm butted in.

"You guys did not know we would-"

"Oh please, anyone who's been at the school long enough to witness Logan in action knows that he isn't the social king. Taking you out to eat? Not leaving the room in the middle of a conversation you're having with him? He is so annoying that way, by the way, you're lucky he doesn't do that."

The thought of Jean or Storm trying to have a conversation with Logan and him leaving mid-sentence was pretty funny.

I shook my head. "So everyone knew we liked each other, but us, and no one decided to intervene, or at least, give me a heads up?"

"No way!" Jean said, "You don't mess with the future. Hah, trust me!" She laughed and Storm joined in.

"Ever." I said, "Its lovely to meet you. I'm sorry that our current party seems to be completely high right now."

She simply laughed, "Oh, its fine. You guys are very entertaining."

I asked her then what her mutation was, since she had this unnatural glow to her – it only made her more beautiful, but it was definitely something.

"I'm called Solar by Scott and whatever other mutants I run into. I sort of glow, but only if I've had enough sun energy. It's not the coolest power, but its amazing when it comes to persuasion. Mostly of the male type."

Huh. Go figure. There really is a power for everything.

We continued our talk about being mutants. She told us all what it was like working in the city and not being out publically as a mutant. We told her what it was like being in a school and teaching subjects like Philosophy, English & Mutant 101.

0-0-0-0-

So thank you for all of your support story wise & school wise…things are going much better and I appreciate all your reviews and comments and well wishes! I'm home for break, so expect updates galore!!

Reviewplease!Noflames,thanks!


	17. Lifespan Of A Fly

**Thanks again for your lovely, lovely words! Here's some more drama for ya, and I hope you enjoy immensely!**

**0-0**

"**I think that what I'm afraid of isn't that we try this and it works out really badly. What I'm afraid of is we try it and it works out really well. I'm afraid of feeling everything that I know I would feel. Because I know it's not meant to be. " – Roswell**

That night when I got back, I picked up Di-oh-gee and carried him up the stairs since they were still his enemy, and headed to my bedroom. I gave him a big ole hug and put him in his bed, where he would stay until I laid down and then he'd let out a serious of yelps and cries until I put him next to me. Thank goodness I wasn't a mother because I had zero willpower. I sure do spoil my puppy, but that was ok.

I fell asleep easily that night, thinking that for the first time in a long time, I actually had a solid grasp on happiness. I know, I know, if it seems to good to be true, it usually is. But I wasn't going to complain about the fact that I was happy. _Sweet dreams are made of these…who am I to disagree?_

I was awoken around 7 am by Di-oh-gee's crying because he had to pee – this being his usually time – and deiced to take a run with him. He was a puppy and so his energy supply was endless. I picked up my new iTouch, put on my running gear, grabbed his leash and we took off. I needed to start running even more now that I'd start training this week.

I was more excited about the training than I wanted to admit. I hadn't been using my powers in any major way and I missed it. While out on my run, I shot out some sparks just to release some pent up energy and imagined the danger room scenarios and the vigorous workouts Logan had planned for me. Then I imagined the vigorous workouts in the training room sessions he had planned as well.

Ok, I have a totally dirty mind. I'm only _mutant!_

After a quick shower, a tuckered out Di-oh-gee and I headed towards the elevators to get some grub. I had changed into a blue and white stripped cotton dress and put it over my bathing suit, assuming I'd be swimming today.

I had made it to the elevator and pushed the down button (laziness was a virtue to me and like I said, stairs were Di-oh-gee's enemy,) and when the doors opened, there stood Logan. And hey! He was wearing shorts!! This called for a celebration.

I smiled at him, taking in his appearance. Black board shorts, a white t-shirt, and sneakers. It was different, but hey, I liked it. What I didn't like though, was the look on his face. One of surprise and foreboding…my favorite.

"Piper!" His eyes widened, like I was the last person he thought would be standing there when the doors opened. "I was just looking for you downstairs."

Di-oh-gee yelped, as he always does when he sees Logan. "Hey bub," Logan bent down and petted the little pooch. "You know he's going to be huge, right?"

"Yep." I nodded, "I look foreword to it. He can keep me safe from all the robbers and rapers and your know."

He didn't laugh like I imagined he would, or even smile. Instead, he kept looking at the dog and said, "Do you have a second? We should talk."

Ah. "Yeah, I think. Unless I die of hunger, in that case its all you're fault, by the way."

He stood up, still no smirk, "C'mon." I followed him back down the hall towards his room. We passed Scott and I handed the puppy to him telling him he just wanted to go downstairs.

Once we were in the room it got silent. I sat on his bed, realizing that this was the first time I had ever been in here. The walls were bare except for a few pictures I imagine must have been here before he moved in. (They were of bridges and cities and flowers...) There were random trinkets and things on the dresser and a pile of clothes in the corner, but besides that nothing really made it scream LOGAN. Although, I must admit, it did have a distinct Logan/wet dog scent.

"I think we made a mistake."

I had expected something like this when he wouldn't look me in the eye at the elevator. Instead of replying, I waited for him to go on.

"I just…I do like you, its not that. But we're probably moving too fast."

I rolled my eyes, gah, I was getting dumped before the sex. That's how much he didn't want me. There wasn't a reply I could think of that would justify what I suddenly started feeling.

"I like you." That was twice. "Can you say _something?"_

"Uh, no. You pulled me in here, this is your speech. So go on, give it."

"You're pissed." He said, stating the obvious.

"Logan, you're breaking up with me when we've only ever gone on one date. I don't know how you think I'm supposed to be reacting, but I'm sorry if this isn't it."

"I'm not breaking up with you. I just don't want to do this."

I nodded in fake agreement, "Yeah, you're right. That's not breaking up with me at all. Whatever. It was one date, one day. You have to be in a relationship to break up with the other person. So, my bad, sorry for saying that."

"Piper, for once I'm not trying to be an ass. I'm being serious. We need to be realistic here and think about things in the long term."

"Uh, Logan, I'm not like that, you don't have to worry." I said, wondering if he was implying that I'd be jumping on his back about the wedding or something.

He swallowed nervously, something new for him – nervousness. Or at least, obvious nervousness.

"Look – Lucy was…she was a good person." He looked like that was really hard to say, speaking with his hands, looking at the walls, floors, everywhere but me. "And she was an important part of this school. And then I got involved. We messed around. And she was out of here before you could say-

"Five dollar foot long?" I tried.

He rolled his eyes at me, "All I know is, if we had never done anything she'd-"

"Ok, well let me stop you there for a second. If you're telling me that you just want to mess around with me, or if you're saying that's all you ever wanted – then I'm fine with stopping right now. That's not what I want. I guess maybe I misunderstood you yesterday when you said –"

"I do feel something for you! I do. I meant that yesterday. I mean it. But what I'm saying is, if I can screw up Lucy enough to the point where she has to leave and we weren't even anything – than what hope do we have?"

"God, Logan not everything relationship is doomed."

"You just said God!" He exclaimed, momentarily forgetting himself.

"Yeah well you piss me off! Lucy _wasn't_ _happy here_ – it has nothing to do with you! Well, maybe something. But she could have gotten over it if it she truly wanted to stay here. Its not like you were madly in love-"

"We weren't, but you don't know the shit we went through together. She felt she had no choice-"

"Like right now, me, and how you're taking my choice from me. You're ending us before we can even go on a second date."

"I don't want you to end up like Lucy! I'd rather not have a relationship with you and have you here than have something terrible happen and you leave for good. I didn't feel what I feel now for Lucy and I don't want you to end up leaving like she did."

"Obviously I don't give up like she does or else I would have just given you the finger and walked away. Logan, we went on one date – why are you so afraid to try? We don't know where this will go. Maybe we'll try it and it'll work and it'll be great. But maybe it'll fall apart and we'll split before two weeks go by – you don't know that. That's why you take things one. Day. At. A. Time!"

He licked his lips and shook his head. He already had this argument in his head and he knew the outcome. I was apparently the last to know.

"Fine." I said. "Screw you, because you're nothing but a coward." I walked towards him and poked him in the chest, "Ever since day one you've been two sided to me – you like me and you hate me. I should have known that yesterday was nothing."

"This is my point." He said, taking my finger and lowering it. "You're upset and we haven't even tried yet."

"I'm not upset because you hurt me! I'm upset because the big bad, five hundred and fifty pound Wolverine is afraid of a relationship and afraid of trying!"

"Well then…" He shrugged, "I'm a coward. But at least I'll be your friend in the end." There was no way he honestly believed that. I wanted to yell that we could never be friends. That he was being stupid. That we would never be able to not be either enemies or more than friends. But what was the point? The argument was clearly over, and he knew what I knew – we weren't capable of being friends.

What exactly he hoped to gain from this, well, I don't know. I give up.

It was my turn to shake my head. I let out a harsh laugh, turned, and left his room, slamming the door behind me.

-0-0

A few days went by. I ranted and raved to both Storm and Jean. They laughed and told me Logan was a fool and that he'd open his eyes sooner or later. I had a hard time believing that.

I was angry at him, and I refused to see his side of things. I knew I was supposed to, at least a little, but I just couldn't. Finally, I picked up the phone and called Chicago, and spoke to one purple haired mutant.

-0-0

"Hey-lo?" The bubbly voice said.

"Hey, Lucy? This is uh...Piper. From Xaviers…I don't know if you remember-"

"Piper Pipette! Hey gurl hey! Are you in town? Of course I remember you. You almost drowned!"

"Uh," I laughed, leaning against the window. I was sitting on the window seat in my room Friday morning, 3 days after my "breakup" with Logan. "No, its not that. I just have to ask you something."

What was I doing? I suddenly thought. What was I going to do – say HA HA Logan I win? Well, no. I wasn't going to tell Logan about this call. But I was hoping to learn from it.

"Go for it, hon. Hey, Eugene have you seen Jemaine?" She asked to something in the background.

"It's a weird question."

"No worries, I'm so totally used to weird."

"You and Logan…well…is he the reason you left?"

"Psh…" She started laughing, but got suddenly serious. "No! Well. Kind of. Not the main reason though. I mean, we weren't dating, that was for sure. I didn't want that and he didn't want that. But after a while, I started to feel like a slag. And you know, I couldn't do it anymore. But I didn't know how to end it with him then."

"Whaddya mean?" I asked, twirling a piece of my hair around my finger.

"Well, we did stop then. But I felt kind of empty, ya know? And I didn't know how to act around him anymore. And then I got the offer for Chicago and I just started thinking, why stay? I've got nothing here. Absolutely nothing. And I came here and now I'm happy."

"Would you say it's his fault?"

"Nah…If I had gotten the offer while we were still messing around, I'd still have taken it. He was a friend of mine, yeah, but I never told him my deepest darkest secrets and he wasn't telling me anything either. That's how it works. I wanted a meaningful relationship and I wanted to feel something again. I just wasn't getting that at the school…"

"Oh. Ok."

"Why? You feelin' the same?"

"No. I'm happy. I am…"

"So then…why the Logan bombs?"

"Well I guess…I just wanted to hear your side of things."

"He blames himself. I know that. I knew that the day I got the offer. He was convinced he made a mistake in messing with me and regretted it – and God did it piss me off. I mean, jeeze now I'm your regret? How low! But that's why we fought so much when you first got to the school. I couldn't drill it into his head enough – hey wait. Are you thinking of starting something?"

"Well." I wasn't sure if I could confide in Lucy, so I just figured I wouldn't say anything that wasn't already common knowledge. "I kind of like him. I just don't think he wants to get involved because of…"

"He's an idiot-" She butted in, "Sorry but its true. Pipe, you're hot! And if he feels something for ya, he can't hold back. Like I said. I-D-I-O-T! I know you probably don't want to hear this, but since you said you like him, if he likes you back he'll get over himself. He has to, you know? Otherwise you're up shit creek without a paddle."

"Gee Luce, thanks for your help."

She laughed, "Anytime! But seriously. Maybe now he's whining and bitching, but if it's meant to be it'll happen – he'll get over it and take a chance. Listen I really hope you don't hate me for screwing up your love life or lack of one, but I've really gotta go, I lost someone."

"Hah – good luck! And thanks Lucy! Oh, and keep this between us?"

"No problem. Good luck, Pipette!" Whatever that was.

I hung up with Lucy and thought over her conversation. She was right…I'd just have to wait. If it would happen, it would.

But oh by gosh, by golly, was I ever impatient…

I had the patience of really…impatient thing….

0-0-0-

Pleasereivew! Noflames,thanks!


	18. Say Hello, Wave Goodbye

SO! I'm updating twice because this chapter is really short…I could have made it one big chapter, but ehhhh….

There, now I feel justified. Enjoy! And thanks for the lovely reviews, once again. You guys keep me going!

Disclaimer: I own nothing within the chapters of this story.

Also, this whole Wade thing – I like him. I think he's a hottie. Haha. But anyways, I needed someone for this part, and I like him, so, hey you connect the dots. But I don't know that he'll be in more chapters than this, but yeah, he's really random.

0-0-0-

**Why does it take thinking you've lost someone to realize you love them...decisions made for the wrong reasons don't last...can't let impulse, jealousy, override reason...then again, what does reason have to do with love?**-Peyton Sawyer

I had until Monday to be able to look at Logan without wanted to gag or punch him or do something nasty. Monday we started training. Tuesday I'd enter the danger room…Ugh…grossness…._Anyways…_

His name was Wade. He had come to visit the professor; apparently he had helped him in the past and they needed to catch up. He'd be at the school for 3 days, and I happened to find him very inspiring. When he met me, he made a comment that implied doing more than shaking hands. I took this and ran with it.

It was Sunday afternoon, the same weekend that I called Lucy. I'd gotten impatient though, and frustrated. Logan was a dumbass! So I'd been scheming…and speak of the devil…

Logan was coming down the stairs, I heard him yell something up them to someone so I had to act fast.

And so, as I stood in the hallway, talking to Wade, I leaned in to him and flirted a little more. "So, it must have been so tough – growing up like that."

"Oh it was, it was so tough." He whispered back, leaning in closer. He was quick, and clearly used to this kind of scenario. Or at least, the scenario that he thought this was. Er. Yeah…

Time was up, Logan would be here in _3…2.._

I leaned to Wade's lips and he met me half way, running his hands through my hair while I placed mine on his chest.

_1…_

It was over. It just started. But as we pulled apart I let out a deep breath and turned to see Logan, standing there, mouth open, shock written all over his face.

He growled and turned back down the hallway again.

This was exactly what I planned for him to see.

Wade simply smiled, "Well that sure was nice, Miss Piper, but next time you wanna use me, make it last." He winked.

I felt horrible – not for using wade, hell I didn't care about that and he got a kiss out of it. I felt horrible because I didn't expect Logan to look, well, defeated. I expected jealousy that was the whole point. But the whole, looking sad thing wasn't expected at all. And I kind of was hoping that he'd beat Wade up or say something – anything – as a reaction. Turning and walking away was _so _not cool at all.

So, I followed him down the hallway, Wade on my trail. I reached out for him, but he turned on me so fast I didn't have the chance to grab him. "Lo-Log-" I tried to stutter, but he blew past me and confronted Wade.

"You want her? _Fine!_ You can have her," His voice was low, and angry, every word coming out as a half growl. "She-she means absolutely _nothing _to me in any way, size, shape or form. Nothing! So go ahead and kiss the shit outta her I don't give a damn."

Uhm, have you seen Beauty & The Beast? This scene reminds me of the beast in his lesser moments. And also, did he have to be so specific about what nothing means?

"Dude, it's totally not like that." Was all Wade said, confused. "You actually sound like you mean the opposite of what you're saying."

"**NO!** Not at all! She's nothing but a confused little girl who ended up here by accident and she is nothing to me. So. You win." He turned back to me. "Happy now?" He snarled.

Wade walked by both of us putting his hands up in defense, "Guys, you both need to uh…see someone about the woo-hoo." He made a crazy gesture with his hand. "See you later, when you work all the crazy out of your systems." And just like that he was gone in a flash, as if he couldn't get out of here fast enough.

Logan, whose claws had come out while he was yelling at Wade froze, looked down at them as if noticing them for the first time, and retracted them.

And I, on the other hand, was speechless. I replayed his words in my head, "_…and she is nothing to me."_

"_Make this right." _A voice in my head told me, but instead I shook it, and turned to leave.

But something stopped me and I spoke without turning around. "I was just making you jealous, for the record. As if it wasn't obvious enough. You _know _I don't have feelings for him – you _know _that! Put two and two together, dumbass." I felt my eyes watering then. _Don't cry, please, please, don't cry now Surge._ "First you tell me you feel something for me and then drop me on my ass, and now you're screaming it to a complete stranger. I get it! I can't make you jealous cuz you don't feel shit for me. Lesson learned." I was able to straighten myself out a bit by the end of my rant.

And I know, this is my fault – I was asking for it by doing something as petty as kissing Wade to make him jealous. But gosh, I was so sick and tired of all of this up and down, hot & cold bullshit. I felt like I was trapped in an overplayed Katy Perry song.

"Aw jeeze…Surge are ya cryin'? Please don't tell me you're cryin' because I can't deal with cryin' girls…" He put a hand of my shoulder but I shrugged it off and ran towards the stairs, a total Full House/90s sitcom exit.

One tear came out, ok? Just one! I'M NOT CRYING! _(It's just…raining on my face.)_

Logan followed me, "Surge, I _was_ jealous! But I…I don't want to hurt you." He yelled.

"Then don't!" I shouted back.

Just then everything froze. And I don't mean in a WOW! Way. I mean, oh my gosh something is wrong, way.

Something strange was happening to me, because suddenly, I wasn't with Logan. I wasn't in the hallway, running towards the stairs anymore.

I don't know for sure what I was seeing. It was as if I were wearing a pair of glasses that belonged to someone else. This scene was all too familiar, somewhere, I'd had an argument with someone just like this before. "Shut up! Stop it please!"

Where did that come from? It was a desperate cry, or a whine rather, as if a younger version of me was saying it. Had I fought with someone and said that before? The voice in my head was not my 23-year-old selves.

Wait, huh? Where was I? Who am I arguing with again? "Mom, c'mon please. Can we just go?" Go? Go where? Mom…Am I talking to my mom? Hello? "Mo…"

Things started coming back into view, the blurred vision I had was fading and I was suddenly falling. I tripped over my over feet, lurching forward at the top of the stairs. I recall reaching for what I believe was the railing, just in time for everything to go black.

-0-0-0

Pleasereview! Noflames,thanks!

Hope you enjoyed this…


	19. Tragedy Bound

2nd update of the night…enjoy! And my favorite – a corny final line - is in this! Ha ha ha…

0-0-0-

**"If dreams are like movies then memories are films about ghosts.**

**And the price of a memory is the memory of sorrow it brings."**

(Counting Crows – Lullaby)

I opened my eyes and found myself staring into a white ceiling. After searching my surroundings a little bit – nightstand, window, dresser, big, hairy, wolf like man on the end of the bed, doorway, bathroom doorway, lamp – I realized I was in my room. Slowly I sat up, Logan studying me as I did so. We made awkward eye contact, but eventually he broke away and studied my room.

"You've got this place all decked out." He muttered, looking at the framed photo of the Philadelphia Phillies's baseball field, Citizen's Park, on the wall.

"Yeah, well, I do live here- I might as well make my _home _be homey."

I think in a way, his reaction to my room was a good thing for him. Maybe he needed to see that I was moved in, that I thought of this as a home, as a sign that I wouldn't be leaving soon.

He took a deep breath and finally turned to look at me. "Are you feeling ok?"

"How long was I out? And yes, I'm fine." I swallowed nervously. Was that really true? Was I fine?

"10 minutes, maybe. Not that long, or else I would have called Jean or Hank. It looked like you just fainted."

"I did. And I thought I was going to break all my bones falling down the stairs."

I imagined Logan, _my hero,_ carrying me to my room. Did anyone see us? Hmm…I mean the hero part sarcastically. He should have just left me there, because if I saw Logan carrying someone, I'd think something serious had happened and a big ordeal would have been made out of nothing. Besides, if Logan is going to carry me anywhere, I want to be conscious for it.

"Saved your life." He joked, smirking. Logan turned all the way towards me and rested his hands on my legs, "What were you talking about before you blacked out?"

"Huh? It was an argument – weren't you there?"

"Yeah, yeah, " He teased, "But I'm not your mom."

"What are you…" I shook my head, "Ha ha, very funny Logan. I didn't call you my mom."

His face got serious, "You don't remember your crazy mumblings?"

When he noticed the blank look on my face, he continued, "You're not just messing with me here?"

"You seem to be messing with me."

"Do you faint a lot?"

"Logan, c'mon. No. You'd know that already if I did."

"Are you implying that I'm so good looking that you'd faint every time you saw me?" He raised an eyebrow and continued, "Well then what happened was very weird. I don't…Hmm…" He looked away, thinking to himself.

"Maybe I should go talk to the professor." And before he could say another word, I jumped off the bed and waltz past him towards the elevator.

0-0-0-

Logan tried to come in with me, but I refused to let him. I knew that something funny was going on with my head and memories, and I just wasn't ready to let him in on all that. And don't think I had forgotten about the fact that we were fighting. Or the fact that I kissed another guy to make him jealous.

Yeah, ok. Sometimes I act like I am in 10th grade again. But give me a break, its not like he didn't deserve it.

Anyways, I was sitting with the professor, trying to tell him everything that happened. This is where it would have been useful to have Logan around, because he heard me call him "Mom".

"And you don't recall what you said? Have you ever experienced anything like this before?"

I bit my lip, "Honestly, I don't really know for sure. There have been times where I've gotten dizzy and had to lay down and ended up passing out, but I just had assumed it was the flu or something. " I thought for a long while just then, and remembered something. "Actually, in college an incident like this happened to me. I was in my room with a bunch of people, talking and watching a movie. I got dizzy and passed out on my bed. When I came to, my friends were laughing at me, saying I was acting really funny. They assumed I was joking…"

"Would you be alright with me trying something?"

"Uh, what?"

"I'm going to have you relive those moments, so that you can remember what you did in front of your friends and what happened with Logan. Since these are the only two specific memories of this that you have, they should be the easiest to recall."

"Okay." I was a little nervous that he'd go to far back, and I'd relive the memory of kissing Wade in front of Logan. So what, it wasn't my proudest moment.

Xavier held a hand up to each side of my head and closed his eyes. He then instructed me to do the same.

And like the movie that all memories are, I saw myself back in college, my sophomore year. It was funny, seeing myself there, back in the day. It was part of my rebellious stage. I had my hair cut in a pixie like style, and purple streaks throughout.

There was Sheila, Mary, and Emma all in the room with me. We were all in sweatpants, eating popcorn and candy, watching Anchorman. Sheila was telling the story of how her ex boyfriend crashed into her mailbox backing out of the driveway after he had broken up with her. Then I went and got weird…

Memory me had turned towards my desk and held my head – suddenly I remembered how dizzy I had been at that moment. It was not fun reliving it.

I had jumped onto my bed, whining about being dizzy, and held my head in my hands.

"You want some ibuprofen Piper?" Emma had asked, walking towards her desk. Emma was my roommate; she was good with me being weird. I had shaken my head and started speaking gibberish.

"Go to hell!" I had screamed.

"Please don't, please don't tell mom I said that!"

"I'm s-s-sorry…" I said it with such sadness. And then I watched as the memory version of me fell to the side on my bed.

This strange experience was blowing my mind. I was watching my memories from the third person point of view. Craziness, pure craziness. But so was the scene I just witnessed.

Time lurched on, years went by, and Logan and I were screaming at each other in the hallway.

"I…I don't want to hurt you!" Logan shouted at me. I remember this part very clearly.

"Then don't!" I had shouted back…yes, I remember all of this. And this is where I got dizzy suddenly.

Memories. That's what these were. I was experiencing a flashing of events from my childhood. It seemed to make so much sense now, watching me talk to someone.

"Shut up! Stop it, please!" I had shouted. Wait, this really happened? I couldn't recall any of this. And it was scaring me.

"Mom, c'mon please. Can we just go?" And then me, tripping, falling towards the stairs. "Mo…" I had whispered, lurching forward – only to have the memory – the feeling - of Logan's strong arms grabbing me before I could actually fall.

My eyes shot open, and slowly, the professors' did the same. This was scary, having these things happen and not being able to remember them. I was reminded of the same fear I was frequently experiencing when I thought about what happened to my parents all those years ago. Not being able to remember was terrifying, but was it more terrifying than what actually happened?

"Piper, I know you don't remember saying these things or what you saw, but I believe I can conjure up these memories again. I sense them there, and I think I may be able to bring them to the front of your mind and help you recall what you had seen."

"Who I was talking to and everything?" The thought was extremely odd to me. I obviously was talking to my mother in these flashes, was I about to recall our first conversation ever? What she looked like…what he voice sounded like…who she was…

Wow. The thought of this alone was overwhelming. Sure, I'd seen photos of my parents, but only a few, and even then they were meaningless. Of course, I won't lie and tell you that I never stared at them for hours and just wished they were here or wished I could remember who they were. But c'mon, I might as well have been looking at the pictures that came in the frame, because these people meant nothing to me. Hell, the couple on the cover of that week's Life & Style meant more to me than those two people.

It upset me to think that way. It upset me to know I was capable of thinking this way. It upset me that they were dead and they left me no memories. It upset me that…that it wasn't their fault. It was mine.

Here was my chance. My first encounter with them – well, my first memory of them.

"Are you ready?" Xavier asked me, raising his hands.

I was more than ready to meet my mommy.

0—0-

Ha ha ha, I know, those last lines are so painful, but this story needs them, its like…just something I can't resist! I hope you liked it anyways.

Pleasereivew!Noflames,thanks!


	20. Selective Memory

Hey guys, so I can't promise an update tomorrow, and so if I don't…it'll be a long, long time before I update again. Just know, I'm not abandoning this story – in fact, I have at least the next 3 chapters written. Posting them is just the issue. So thanks in advance for you patience…trust me, I had it just as much as you.

And thanks again for the awesome reviews!

-0-0- -0—0

"**Life had gone on. It always did. That's what you learned as you got older. Time. It kept moving. You couldn't stop it. You couldn't go back to the moments you wished you could change. They were gone. They left you in a snap." **-Lee Martin, The Bright Forever

The first memory came slowly, and I'm guessing it was because it was from so long ago.

At first, I was back in the dorm room, experiencing it again through my eyes this time, becoming dizzy. But instead of passing out, I was seeing the conversation.

I was in a den with a boy, who looked a little older than me. And my age, seemingly, was about 8. Wrestling was on TV and there was an old computer sitting on the desk. We had been fighting, and I think he was mimicking what was going on, on the TV.

I was sitting on the floor, a hand to my head, crying. Aw, look! I was wearing cute little bear Pjs! I missed little kid pajamas; I DO remember them being comfortable

"Go to hell!" I shouted at the boy.

"You just swore at me!" He screamed back, kicking me in the leg. "I'm telling mom you swore!"

"Please don't!" I wailed, curling over, protecting myself, "Please don't tell mom I said that!"

"You owe me!" He started to stomp past me but I grabbed his leg.

"I'm s-s-sorry!" I cried again, but he jerked his leg free, mumbling, "fine." Before leaving the den.

Slowly, my eyes opened again. Xavier nodded to me, waiting for the OK to continue. I nodded back and we proceeded again.

Same situation, instead of going black, I was sucked into a memory.

There she was, my mother. We had the same eyes, but that was about it. Her hair was dark brown, almost black and she was stick thin. She also seemed to be very fashionable. She was beautiful, but my heart, it broke, as I noticed how sad her face was.

And there I was, hair in pigtails, dressed in an entire outfit from the Limited Too, and an angry expression on my face.

"Piper, honey, they don't look right on you-" She was saying, her sad look turning grim. We were in the middle of a store, and I was clutching a pair of sparkly pink pants.

"Shut up! Stop it please!" I cried, throwing a fit in the store.

"Excuse me," My mom said, walking past me towards a sales girl, "These pants, do they come in any other color?"

I threw them on the floor and grabbed her arm, like a little brat, "Mom, c'mon please. Can we just go?" I tugged at her arm, while she and the saleslady started talking.

"Mo…" I saw myself start to fade, and then it all disappeared.

-0-0-0

Black. Intense black. I could make it all go away. But I just needed a second. I needed to gather my bearings.

When I finally did open my eyes, I realized I was crying. Xavier had leaned back in his chair, and was waiting for me patiently.

"That was the first time I've ever spoken to my mom…the first memory of it…I was wicked to her." I wiped my eyes and tried to gather my composure again.

"Aren't all children at some point? I'm certain you have better memories of her somewhere in there."

Excited, I jumped at this, "Really? Can you bring them to the front of my mind again?" I knew the answer, judging by the look on his face, before I even finished speaking. "Oh."

"Piper, I'm sorry. It's not that simple. Your memories are there, but they don't want to be found just yet. They'll come to you when they're ready."

"But you've seen…you can tell me what you've seen!" I asked, or rather, demanded.

"I haven't. It's as if your brain has put a giant barricade around these memories, not allowing anyone, even me, access to them. When its time, the memories will come about. But Piper…even if I could see them… There are also sorts of experiences that we can't really put a name to. The birth of a child, for one. Or the death of a parent. Falling in love. Words are like nets - we hope they'll cover what we mean, but we know they can't possibly hold that much joy, or grief, or wonder. If it's happened to you, you know what it feels like. But try to describe it to someone else - and language only takes you so far. No one can tell you your past – they can only ever try. You need to wait for them to come to you on their own accord."

I was silent for a long time after this. Upset and confused.

"Who was that boy? The one I was fighting with?"

"Does he seem familiar to you in any way? Perhaps a cousin or something of the sort?"

"No. I've met any cousins I have. And I don't have a brother. A babysitter? I'd say that, but he almost seemed to young."

I know you might be wondering; if I have cousins, why not live with them? Well, for one thing, most of my family was from out of state, and for another, they couldn't afford to add another child to their list. Now that I'm older, I'm happy that I got to stay in Philadelphia. And I know, things didn't end so well with Asa, but I couldn't have imagined being raised by any of my other aunts and uncles.

"Perhaps that's just another thing you need to remember."

I sighed and leaned forward onto my knees. "What did we really accomplish here then?"

"Well for one, we know that your memory is intact, you're just not aware of everything at the moment. And one day you will be. We also learned that these blackouts are helpful. If you can recall any time other than these two, we can look into them."

I shook my head, "No dice."

Silence.

"Are you alright, Piper?" He asked.

"I don't know, honestly. I just wish…I wish I had a good memory too, to take over the bad."

He nodded, "And that's understandable, but keep in mind, there is a reason why you are only able to recall these two memories at the moment."

We were silent for a beat, once again.

"I'm going to go eat a horse. Professor, thank you for everything."

"If you ever need any more help with this, feel free to see me."

"Thanks," I whispered, getting up.

"Oh, and Piper," I turned back towards him, "Logan's waiting outside. He hasn't been able to hear us, but he'll be curious as to what went on. As he usually is when it comes to your life." He smiled after he said the last part, but I simply turned my head and headed towards the door.

0-0-0-0

"So you uh…mentally ill?" Logan asked, following me down the hall. The professor was right, he had been waiting outside the door for me. I did my best to say everything with a look, which was "Not now."

I ignored him, well, verbally, running down the stairs and into the kitchen. Thankfully, he didn't bother following me.

"If there is one thing I've learned over the years, it's that you make your own family." Storm was reading aloud from a book, and she slammed it shut just as I came in.

"Sounds deep, what's it from?" I asked, headed towards the box of pizza on the counter.

"Just a story." She shrugged, cracking open a Coke Zero. "How is your day going?" She said, raising her eyebrows.

"Oh, probably not half as exciting as yours. Why? You look like you've been listening to a lot of lies…" I accused.

"Yeah, if that's what you want to call them." I cocked my head and looked at her, begging her to go on with my eyes, "Ok, so word around the school is that Logan walked in on you and Wade – " Kitty walked in then so she lowered her voice "Doing "it" in the danger room."

"Oh my-"

"Calm down, I didn't say people were believing it."

"It was only a kiss. And it was a dumb thing I did to make Logan jealous."

"I think it's funny." She chuckled.

"Whatever. It's all over now so we can all put that part of our lives behind us. Piper is done causing drama in the school, and she is done falling in for big brutes, and she will now clam up and just work on her friendships. So, Storm, tell me every detail of your day?"

"Really? You're going to start getting boring now?"

"I'm being realistic. I need to start buckling down. I start training on Monday and I need to focus on that. I can't let life's little dramas get in the way anymore. No more feelings or sharing of feelings. I'm going to be safe and not sorry."

She rolled her eyes, "Who wants that? I'd rather choose to fall in love and be hurt. " She got a far off look in her eyes and she smiled, "You know, sometimes I can't even sleep because I love someone so much. And there's always sadness in our lives. It's that sad feeling that keeps us going. Because if we can overcome that sadness, we can hope for happiness in the future."

Well, I'm glad things are so perfect for you and Tony. I thought to myself, but didn't say it out loud. Yeah, that was a lovely way of looking at everything and all, but she had a stable relationship. I was going nutzo over this guy. But I guess that's why she might be right. I was going crazy over Logan, but honestly; would things be so terrible if I didn't really, really care for him? Want him? Like him? Want to be with him?

I put down my pizza, "Yeah, yada yada, better to love and lose than-"

"That's not the point. Look, maybe you two are getting off to the worst start ever, but it doesn't mean there isn't going to be an amazing middle – a perfect middle, a-"

"Horrendous ending!"

"Why think about the end?"

"Because if this is the beginning, the end is going to be pure torture."

"Than I guess you don't really want this, if you don't even care to put yourself in it. You're so scared-"

"Oh just stop it, mom!" I blurted without thinking. "Wait, I didn't mean that- I'm sorry." Storm was surprised that I took it back right away, but I kept going, "You're not being my mom, you're being helpful. But my mom was beautiful and lovely, and…you're right!" I jumped up from the chair. "I should talk to Logan."

Storm, looking confused as ever – and who could blame her – just shook her head and took my crust.

-0-0

pleasereview!noflames,thanks!

and more flashbacky/info on her past is coming up. but so is more Logan-y stuff. so...HOORAY!


	21. Morning Swimming

Hey guys! Thanks for all of your patience through all of this. I did warn you! This chapter is iffy. I did write it back in August but hadn't been able to upload it…so, sorry if its not up to par. Hope you enjoy it anyways. Have a great Thanksgiving!

Disclaimer: I own nada

0-0-0-0

In another life I lived before

I broke so many things

With these two clumsy hands

And I'm steady as a rock

And hold your hand in mine

(Thunderclap – Eskimo Joe)

What exactly was I going to say to Logan?

Well, I didn't have to worry about it so much. I headed towards his room, stood in front of his door for about 15 minutes, and just as I was about to chicken out, Scott appeared at the end of the hall way. He put the pup on the ground and he came running at me.

"Piper, he smells like butt crack." I'd never heard Scott talk like that, but it only momentarily distracted me from the fact that he was yelling. If Logan was in his room, well, we all know his hearing is awesome, so he'd know I was standing outside of his door. But then again, so is his sense of smell, so maybe he knew I was here the entire time.

I bent over and picked up Dee. He did smell like something died on him. "What'd you do to him, Scooter?" I asked, walking towards him.

"We took him swimming in the lake today…he rolled around in some _things _and…there you go."

"Gross. Well, can he swim? I haven't tried really with him yet."

"Oh yeah," Scott leaned forward and patted his head, "He is started to get the concept of it."

"Right. Well, I'll go bathe him, thanks for the heads up." As if I wouldn't have realized his scent sooner or later.

This was the perfect excuse to not rush into Logan's room and say something stupid like I have been planning. We both needed to take a step back and examine what we've been saying and what we've been doing, and mainly, how we've been feeling.

And how have I been feeling? Besides the expected, which is directionless.

Well I mean…I like Logan, I really do, but he's been frustrating me to no end. He either likes me or he doesn't. He either wants to be with me or he doesn't. He doesn't get to have it both ways – it doesn't work that way.

But what about the message I've been sending? I scream at him, kiss other guys, cry, and then avoid him to the best of my abilities. To those of you keeping score at home, I'm on the avoidance stage right now. I mean, I just bathed Dee, and I'm watching him run around a field behind the school.

I should be looking for Logan or something. Instead, I'm hiding. And I plan on sneaking in and going to bed after this. And by going to bed I mean watching bad summer tv until I fall asleep. Oh, and I had an episode of 10 Things I Hate About You the show taped yet – oh wait…shhh…don't tell anyone I like that show!

Yeah, so it was the perfect plan.

But what did I want? I wanted Logan. And what I want…what I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction, and I felt like I could find that in Logan.

I saw myself in him. His lack of memories, his experience with tragedies. The way the little dramas don't matter to him, the way he doesn't feel the need to speak unless he has something he needs to say. I like that he pursues me and that he makes me happy whenever I see him.

I wish that I could make him realize that he's worthy of being loved. That he could be someone's world. That somebody thinks of him every single night before she goes to bed and every single morning when she wakes up. That someone nearly dies with yearning thinking of his arms around her. That somebody loves him more than anything because he's fantastic. He is that special.

And I'm not saying I'm in love with him – no, no, that's too soon, but I'm saying he deserves it. He is so angry about what happened with Lucy, and what happened in his past – he just keeps it all in the front of his mind that he is always being logical, and me, I'm the most illogical being that lived.

And that's why we needed to be together – we needed to…to just…be together. To stop analyzing things and thinking things over.

-0-0

Sunday morning came, and I put on my swimsuit, cover up, and grabbed Dee. We headed towards the lake for a little early morning swim. I hadn't seen Logan and I hadn't looked for him. I knew how I felt and what I wanted to be sure he had time to think things over too. No more changing of the mind – he's not allowed to do that anymore. Next time we spoke, I wanted nothing left unsaid, no more mysteries.

If he was going to say we're nothing, we'd be nothing. If he was going to say he's willing to actually do this, then I was all for it. I can get over this disappointment – if he tells me he wants nothing from me, I can heal. But I can't be dragged around anymore.

Dee didn't jump in the water like I had hoped but he sniffed around and seemed content. I felt the same, floating on my back, just drifting around, until I heard a loud splash.

I righted myself and looked towards the source. A head popped up a few feet away from me, and there was shirtless Logan. Hell yeah.

"Logan." I said. _Real cool, Piper._

"Surge." He smiled at me.

"Remember how we had that huge fight a few days ago?"

"The one that ended with you fainting and avoiding me for the rest of the weekend?" He replied, treading water alongside me.

"Yeah. Look I can't tell you about the fainting thing right now. But I can tell you this – I've been thinking and I've made up my mind."

He nodded for me to continue.

"I know how I feel about you. I told you days ago how I felt about you. I don't know why you changed your-" No, stop self, you need to not get defensive or bring up his actions, just focus on your feelings, "And if you feel the same, then just say so. Can't we just a-"

Logan surged forward then and grabbed me by the shoulders. He was able to stand where we were, so when he kissed me, I had no choice but to grab on to him back. Our arms were wrapped around each other, and we were just…kissing. Passionately. It started out slowly, he kissed me and I kissed back. Then we were leaning into each other, deepening the kisses.

I hadn't even realized I had wrapped my legs around his waist until we pulled apart. Both of us breathing heavily, staring into each other's eyes. Where had this moment come from?

"I'm done being an ass, and Piper…" He paused resting his forehead on mine, "I want to be with you."

I parted my lips, licked them, and finally spoke, "That's all I'm asking of you."

We continued to kiss as the day began.

0-0-00-

After finishing our little session, we goofed off a bit in the water and then he showed me a little bit more of the grounds by the lake that I hadn't seen yet.

"There's a better lake, a few miles down the road," He explained, pulling me close to him. It was as if now that we've told each other the truth, er, again, he couldn't let go of me. And I wanted to feel the same. But I needed to know that he wasn't going to change his mind. Yet at the same time, I didn't want to start something again. So I let him continue, "When it gets cold out, the kids like to skate there. This pond is fine for skating too, but the other one is surrounded by these cliffs – its more…"

"Scenic?" I guessed.

"Uh-huh."

"Cool."

Silence.

"Ok. Say it."

"Oh no, I'm not saying anything."

"There's something you want to bring up, but it's annoying right? Just say it."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Logan, if you want to be with me, you have to follow through with everything you're saying. That's all. There, it's out." Like ripping off a band-aid.

"Ah. Fair enough." He stopped and turned me towards him, "Piper, you just have to trust me. That's all you can do."

"I know. And I will. But you…you can't let me down again. You have to realize that at this point, backing out would be worse than anything that could happen to use in the long run."

"Yeah. And you have to understand I was just trying to be safe. Turns out I can't resist ya, so…ya win this one, Piper."

"Oh, well, lucky me." And I wrapped my arms around him, kissing him once again.

-0-0-

Now that Logan and I were trying this once again, things weren't so different. People were tired of our Scrubs-like romance. But it did seem to be lasting a little longer than our other run at this romance thing. We were actually a week into it! And no, if you're wondering, I wasn't one of those people who count the days, but I was trying to be careful.

As time went on, it became easier to just trust that he wasn't going to up and back out of things. We were training together and he was helping me work on getting in shape – sure, sometimes this was awkward, because, well, when your boyfriend is pinning you to the ground…ah sometimes ya just blush, ya know?

But he kept subtly hinting that he wanted to know about why I fainted. He tried to be patient with me, allowing me some secrets, but I had told him I'd tell him eventually. It wasn't a big deal – no, it was.

It was because I didn't remember what really happened to my parents, and I couldn't forget that I couldn't remember.

I knew I had to explain it all to him, and that he'd understand. But I just wanted peace – finally, no drama! I hadn't fainted again since that day, I had a boyfriend for more than a night, and training was going well.

Sooner or later, though, I knew I'd have to come out with everything I could…

---=-=

Reviewplease!Noflamesthanks!


	22. Girl Interrupted

Hey guys! Thanks for the great reviews & for sticking with me. I'll probably update again tomorrow, but no promises, if not – Christmas break is a few weeks away so they'll be more updates.

I'm glad I wrote a lot of this in advance, even if it is a little off. I'm so stuck right now with life & such….that, well, I can't focus & I can't write about happy things. Which is…well, not good for this story! Anyways, like I said, I had written a lot in advance, so, hopefully things will improve before I run out. Hope you enjoy anyways.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

=-=-=-=-=-

That secret that you know  
That you don't know how to tell  
it f--ks with your honor  
And it teases your head  
I said "I know it well"

_-Bon Iver – Blood Bank_

"Mornin'" Logan plopped down at the foot of my bed, shaking me.

"No." I moaned, rolling onto my side.

"C'mon, we've got training." He leaned over me and spoke softer, "Piper." And then he was nice enough to blow on my face.

"Errg…" I made the strange noise and swatted at him, but he grabbed my hand. Finally I opened my eyes and tried to glare at him. It was 8 am and it seemed like the most ungodly hour I'd ever seen. "I thought they invented locks for a reason."

"No lock is keepin' me out, darlin'. Let's go." He playfully smacked me again, and I groaned and finally started moving. "You think this is tough, wait 'til we start our 6am training sessions."

"Why on earth would we ever need to do that?" I mumbled. I was a morning person, once I woke up. Right now, I was in full on zombie stage.

"Well school will have started, you'll have classes-"

'Shit!" I cried, dropping my toothpaste, "I'm going to be TEACHING? I forgot all about that! I'm not prepared for that. Well." I picked up my toothpaste and turned towards him, "Guess we can't train today, seein' as school starts in less than a week and I'm not prepared at all."

"Nice try. Scott used to teach that class, he offered to help you – or did you forget?" I gave him a funny look and started brushing my teeth as he made himself more comfortable on my bed.

"Hemstoocompollingabowtthins." I tried to speak while cleaning my pearly whites. Finally I spit and clarified, "I meant, Scotts going to be way too controlling about this type of thing. I should do my own thing."

"Fine, but you're not getting out of training sessions."

Dammit. Hmm…I just wanted to crawl back into bed. It was his fault I was so tired anyways. We decided to watch a movie last night and since it was rated R we couldn't start it until the younger ones went to sleep and then it was a war movie and Logan would NOT let me fall asleep, he made sure I was awake for every second of it. And then we had to kiss goodnight, which isn't a complaint, I'm just saying, it takes two to tango. It was well past 2:30 when I went to bed, finally.

"Maybe." I said, kneeling next to him on the bed, taking his face in my hands and leaning in to kiss him.

"Mmm…minty." He broke apart from me to comment, then leaned in and our lips met again.

Its kind of hard to make out with someone who's got adamantium lining their bones, considering how heavy it makes him. I had to use all my weight to try and push him back on the bed, but luckily my distraction was working and he went along with me.

Slowly I ran my hand down his beater and pulled it up, feeling his warm skin, his muscles. He put his hands on my hips and was setting my skin on fire, running his hands up and down my back under my tank top.

Suddenly, he stopped, and sat up, pulling me with him. I was not prepared for that.

"Wha-"

"Oh, you're _good."_ He snapped, as I adjusted my shirt.

I scrunched my face, pretending to be confused, "I was just saying good morning to my boyfriend, and maybe more, but if that's so wrong well maybe I don't-"

"You're a world class bullshitter and distraction." He smiled and kissed my forehead, "C'mon, we can continue this after our workout."

"Ugh, you're so…" I waved my hands around and went to my closet to find my workout clothes. "Wait, where's my dog?"

"You mean the school's dog? Or Scottt's dog, I guess. He was up when I came in here and asked if he could take him out."

"Why is everyone taking over my dog!" I said in frustration, heading towards the bathroom to change. I didn't mind that Scott took him; in fact, it was a lot nicer than having to get up on my own and do it.

"Why are ya goin' in there to change? S'not like I'm not gonna see it all eventually."

I made a snorting noise, loudly, from the bathroom, "So you seem to think!"

I had this song stuck in my head and it was still stuck when I woke up_. "__I'm lost in my paradise, the walls have built in my life, so tell me tell me will I die if I forget how to lie?" _I hated that it was stuck in my head, taunting me in a way. Ignoring it, I continued to get changed.

When I emerged, Logan was sitting like a small, angry child, with his arms crossed on my bed. "Oh don't be pouty." Was all I said, reaching for my sneakers.

"In all seriousness, how have you been lately?"

I froze, mid-shoelace tie, continuing as I spoke, "Fine as fanny." I don't know what that means, but it worked. Seemingly.

"I meant, anymore weird fainting spells?"

I stopped tying my shoes and turned towards him, frustrated, "Just ask the question you want to ask."

"I said I wasn't gonna make you answer-"

"But you still wanna know and…" I paused, standing up, "And you should know. "

"Yeah, I should." He mumbled, "Cuase I care about you." He reached out and took my hand, pulling me down next to him on the bed.

"What, are you going to distract _me_ now?" I asked playfully.

The look on his face was serious though, and I sighed, "Alright, I knew this was coming. And I was planning on telling you. I just don't go around telling a lot of people this, so it's kind of a…thing you earn. I know that doesn't make too much sense, but you're probably the same with your secrets."

Something flashed across his face then, an emotion I couldn't name. It was gone before I could figure it out, but I did notice it.

"Piper, I'm not goin' to be mad…just, if you want to tell me, tell me."

"Yeah, it's that simple right? Cuz that's all you meant when you asked me to tell you a few minutes ago. I know you want to know, cuz you care and all, but I know you also want to know because you're so curious. Which is fine. You're allowed to be curious. But what I tell you might make you…furious. Huh, that rhymed, anyways-"

"I won't get mad, I promise. Trust me, yeah?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's not that. I mean, if you kept this from me, I'd be mad too, so…there you go."

He sighed.

"Logan, I told you everything about my parents and what happened to them. But the thing is-"

"Logan, Piper, we have to go!" Oh, thanks Jean, bust into my room and scream at me, sure it's only the crack of butt and I was only about to tell Logan everything I forgot!

Asshole. Sometimes.

Hey, what if Logan and I had started to go further and he didn't stop us? Hah! Imagine the look on her face if she walked in on that? Oh right, so not the point.

"Jean," Logan growled, but he hoped off the bed all the same, "even Piper?"

"Hey!" I asked offended, following them out, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've never put on the leather outfit yet, you don't even know if it fits."

That was totally not what it meant, and Logan was being vague on purpose.

"It means Logan isn't sure you're ready for this, but we don't have a choice. That boy the professor has been looking for? He thinks he found him in Florida, by the keys. He wants to send out you two, Scott, Storm and myself." Jean explained, knocking on Storm's door.

"I couldn't help but notice that 1. You just named everyone on the team, minus Hank and he doesn't usually go anyways, and 2. You just knocked on her door when you barged into my room!"

She glared at me, when Storm opened the door and she explained it. Logan and I walked past them and hit the elevator button.

"You don't think I can handle a trip to Florida?"

"I just think you don't know what to expect yet."

"Yeah, well, how better to learn than through experience? I've trained with you and I've been in the danger room. It hasn't gone perfectly, but I've done it and it's better than no experience at all."

"Right." He turned towards me, and put his hands on his hips. It looked like he was about to say something, but Storm & Jean hopped on the elevator with us so he couldn't.

-0-0-0-

Well, these outfits were kind of funny. They were right, I hadn't ever put on the funky leather outfit yet, but I wished I had gotten to make some calls when it comes to design. Storm at least had an awesome cape on hers! I had…a skirt on mine.

Everyone seemed to have a color theme, and mine was purple. It was different from the others in the fact that it had a skirt over top of the leather pants. Was this like training wheels, but it was my training skirt? Well, it looked kind of cool, with the boots and all, and the purple was almost blue so it wasn't so bad.

Storm complimented me, but we both knew her cape was much cooler than my skirt. When we left the locker room and boarded the jet, I took a window seat. This jet thing was pretty cool, I must say.

I looked up after hearing the door shut and saw Logan standing next to the two empty seats in my row. He was studying my outfit.

"If worse comes to worse, at least you'll look good."

-=-=-=

So, there actually is a mutant with that outfit, and I thought it looked pretty cool. Hope I described it well enough.

Reviewplease!Noflames,thanks!

p.s. the song stuck in her head is "Tell me why" by Jakalope - I loved those lyrics and had to fit them in somehow, hehe.


	23. Thanks that was fun

FINALLY I am HOME for BREAK! (and maybe longer, jusss sayin') Hope you like my updates…still! And thank you so much for all your awesome reviews.

Answer: YES! Combat Baby is named after the Metric song. I absolutely love them, and this song fit…thanks for noticing!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

-0-0-

It's like forgetting the words to your favorite song.  
You can't believe it; you were always singing along.  
It was so easy and the words so sweet.  
You can't remember; you try to feel the beat.

-Regina Spektor , Eet

The flight was quick, and after all, isn't that what jets are for? Logan eventually sat down with me and tried to brief me about what to expect, but he gets motion sickness so it didn't go so well. I found it ironic that this big bad beast of a guy got something so funny as motion sickness. Just when you think there's nothing this guy_ can't_ take, he needs a barf bag for a 45-minute plane ride.

"Alright," Scott stood in front of the jet, once it was landed in a swamp. Gross. " We'll split up into groups and look for this kid. He leaves trails but not until after he's gone. Xavier saw in the future he was going to start a brush fire with the palm trees. We'll need to find him before then. If you see smoke at any time, return to the jet. Now, let's do groups of three. I'll work with Logan and-"

"Learn to count, Scooter." Logan interrupted him.

"Right. Ok, well, Storm and Jean, you stick with Piper, and Logan and myself will go west."

"What?" I made a face, "How does your mind work, Scooter? Are you a former druggie?"

"Logan will be able to track him down the best and you…"

"Will go with the slower group, right?" Storm butted in, "Don't take offense, Piper. He thinks he's the smartest man alive. We'll just have to prove him wrong and find this kid first."

"Right." Scott agreed, stupidly, "He goes by Dioxin, and he'll look to be about 16-20 or so we expect. It's possible he's younger. He's a shape changer, in everything but eye and hair color. Gray eyes, black hair. That's all we got. Good luck everyone. And stick together!"

I shouldn't have, but I pictured this kid turning into a walrus or something, keeping his hair and eye color.

Was this a 5th grade field trip or something? And hell, he knew NOTHING about what this kid looked like! So what, we were supposed to just trek around the swamp, looking for this kid? What the hell was everyone so worried about, anyways?

I guess I did have a lot to learn, and that makes sense. I hadn't been training that long and I'd only been hearing stories, not experiencing them. This was certainly going to be an adventure, that's for sure.

-0-0-

Storm saw him first and we agreed to corner him. And this seemed like a wonderful idea until the little bastard disappeared, literally. One minute he was there, the next he wasn't.

I ran along a side row of bushes, crouched down, searching for him. After turning a corner of a palm tree, I found him. Well, he sort of found me. We came face to face suddenly.

It seemed as if he were going to run, scream, and wreak havoc, until he took me in. He froze, I froze. Shock, I suppose. Or something else. There was something about it…this moment…

"Hey." Ok, I said hey. It was dumb, don't lecture me, I got nervous and it came out. At least I wasn't laughing which is another thing I tend to do when I get nervous.

His eyes got big as if he just remembered something and before I knew it, his hand flew out and he slapped me across the face. Instinctively, I reached up and touched my burning face.

"Bastard!" I cried, and reached out to shock him. Perhaps I was angered too quickly, but the little guy had us running around in the effin' swamp, sweating, smelling, searching for him. Finally, we find him and he seems ok and he SLPAS me? Uh-uh, that's does NOT happen.

Luckily, for him anyways, I was stopped when Wolverine grabbed him by the neck from behind and raised him up. He growled at him and looked to me for a second before returning all of his energy to Dioxin.

"Alright, Surge?"

I nodded, and I suppose he sensed it, because he didn't turn around. Dioxin on the other hand, looked like he wanted to spit on me.

"HEY SCOOTER!" He shouted, looking the kid up and down, "I got 'im!"

I lowered my arm and watched as Logan, without looking back, carried Dioxin off. Of course the boy struggled, but he wasn't any match for Wolverine. Duh, guys.

But, as I followed them back to the jet I wondered, why didn't Dioxin seem angry at Logan, as he did at me?

0-0—

Luckily, Scooter & Logan didn't make a big deal about getting to Dioxin first. I mean, I really found him, but of course since Logan was the one holding him when Scott saw him, he made that "See?" face at me. I sneered a bit and ignored him as he said, "It's ok Surge, you just have a lot to learn. Good job on your first mission though." And patted me on the back.

I ran off to fetch Storm before boarding, and once I got on, Dioxin and Jean were off in the back, and she was doing something with his mind. Mental sedation, maybe? Who knows?

Wolverine and I were silent as we headed back to the school, although he did take my hand as we sat there.

Once we landed, he grabbed me by the arm, stopping me from making my way to the locker room. "Are you…" He reached up and lightly touched my slapped cheek, "really alright?"

He turned and I followed his gaze to see Jean and Dioxin, her dragging him along, out into the hallway.

I don't know why this gesture, along with holding my hand, surprised me so much. I guess it was sort of like…well realizing that he really did like me. And I know, ok, I know that he really does like me because we had that talk and we kiss and laugh, yada yada yada. But…it's the little things that you notice, I guess.

Its kind of like when someone says they hate you. They do everything you expect, they ignore you, make faces at you. And then they do something above and beyond, like walk past you when you trip and fall. And you realize suddenly, wow they really do hate me.

Yeah, like that, but with a good relationship and not a bad. It's doing something that is nice and unexpected, though little, that just reassures things. I liked it. I made a mental note to take his hand or something like that to him in the future.

"I am. I think." I sighed and reached up and took his hand, holding it. "Logan, we need to talk. Longer this time. "

He looked confused, "You know why you got slapped?" He smirked, doubtful. Maybe people get slapped a lot during missions?

"I…don't but…there's a lot I don't actually know."

"I was going to say he was probably mad that you were comin-"

"Oh that's not true, he didn't even try to go after you. He was genuinely mad at me, as if I'd personally tried to kill him or his dog or something."

"Alright, alright…fair enough. We'll talk."

"'Kay…I'll go change and meet up with ya." I hopped up and kissed him quick on the lips before headed out to change.

0-0-0-

As I changed, I asked Storm what would become of Dioxin. She said the professor would probably run some tests on him and ask him questions and then we'd all be called it to talk about what happened.

"Why Dioxin?" I asked, combing my hair.

"Who knows? I know we've been looking for him for awhile, but as is the case in many situations, one person is just a piece of a bigger picture."

"So there are more like him?"

"What? Little runaways who know we're coming? I don't know. I guess we'll get all of our answers tonight."

I sighed, "He's weird, isn't he?"

"All of us are, don't you think? What is normal, anyways?"

"Oh. I don't know. I just meant…don't you think there is something off about him?"

"I do think its odd that he ran from us for so long, considering how young he is. But if a group of leather clad mutants were chasing you, would you run or stick around to see if they were friendly?" She slammed the door to her locker shut.

"Right. I'd run too…I just feel like maybe there was an easier way, you know? Like, couldn't the professor have calmly visited him or something?"

"He knows what he's doing. Some people get a visit from him, others get us. I think those that get us are luckier." She smirked and headed out. I thought over her words and soon followed.

-0-0-

"So you don't…remember anything before age ten?"

"Pretty much. I woke up in the hospital with no memories of anything. Xavier says my memories are there, they're just…hiding, I suppose. He says someday they'll come back, when they're ready."

"More than anyone can say for me." He let out a dry chuckle, "You really don't-"

"Nothing."

"So your parents death and well, growing up…ah, so that day on the stairs…"

"Well, yeah, kind of. It seems like a memory but I can't place it."

"This is…" He was silent then for a while.

I licked my lips nervously, and waited. We had gone to this place called Oyps, which was along a lake. I was starving when I got here but my appetite disappeared as I started to speak. Both of us had untouched beers in front of us.

"I know it's…"I struggled for words and squirmed uncomfortably. Waiting for him to speak wasn't working, but I didn't exactly have the right words either.

"Say something." I finally demanded.

"It's a lot to take in, that's all."

"Well, its not like it's a new concept. I mean, believe it or not, there are two people with memory issues and they're currently dating. Small world, I guess."

He shook his head, "That's not what I meant. I'm not saying it's hard to believe. It makes sense, after all, you never talk about growing up and when you do you end up lying – don't think you're a good liar, 'cause you're not – and I suppose I knew somethin'-" He cut himself off and shook his head, "I mean, how do you keep that a secret?"

"I just didn't tell people…it wasn't a conscious thing-"

"You looked at me after waking up in your room as if this was completely new to you-"

"It was! It is! I mean, I don't black out like that or have flashbacks…Look are you upset that I didn't tell you? Is that what you're saying?" I nervously ripped at the label on my beer, not looking at him. He was upset, whether he was going to admit it or not. And what was my excuse for not telling him? I didn't have a valid one.

"Can I get another one?" He raised he bottle to a nearby waitress and she nodded and walked away. I hadn't even noticed him drink it. A breeze blew and I crossed and uncrossed my ankles nervously as I felt it; it was a reminder that summer was drawing to a close and soon the winter would be here. Fall first, but eventually, winter too.

After the mission, I changed into jean shorts and a plain black t-shirt, nothing fancy. Logan was wearing his jeans and a ratty red t-shirt. We both looked haggard, tired, as if we had the longest day of our lives. We hadn't, in truth, things had been worse, but today we were just tired.

"Piper…You…."He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look, do I honestly know everything about you?" I asked, in my best way of being non-accusing.

He raised his eyes brows and laughed, "No, you certainly don't…"

"Should I be concerned that you reacted like that?"

"No. Look, I'm just confused as to why you would want to keep this a secret. I don't even know why I care…"

"I tried to tell you before we left this morning – I don't have a good reason for not sharing, ok? That's the honest truth. But it wasn't personal. It wasn't that I didn't trust you. I just was afraid, maybe that you'd think differently of me for it."

"Why?"

"Because I mean…at first I thought you'd think I was just being dramatic. And then when I got to know you better I thought maybe you'd think I was making excuses. There was never really an opportune moment to tell you and now I just did and you know."

"Wasn't that a mouthful?"

I rolled my eyes and took a chug of beer.

"Alright." He said finally, after a few beats. "So what now?"

"Now?" I said, grabbing a menu, "Now, I imitate a bear for you. I'm going to eat and sleep."

He looked at me and smirked, "It is a small world, isn't it?"

"Logan-" I said, knowing he was mocking me.

"Hey, I'm not judging you…I'm judging your taste in food. I bet you order the pork here."

And as our meal progressed, things fell back to normal. Slightly normal. He kept asking me random question. So eventually I asked him them back, and he got annoyed so we dropped it. But for how long? I couldn't help but wonder.

0-0-0-

ahhhh! I updated!! Pleasereview!Noflames,thanks!


	24. You Don't Make It Easy, Babe

So I updated during that maintenance thing last night, so I'm not sure if people saw it…if not, its cool. For those of you who reviewed, thank you so much!!! I really do appreciate everything little thing you guys say!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

0-0-

_I told you to be patient  
I told you to be fine  
I told you to be balanced  
I told you to be kind  
In the morning I'll be with you  
But it will be a different "kind"  
I'll be holding all the tickets  
And you'll be owning all the fines_

(Bon Iver – Skinny Love)

When we got back to the school, he was kind enough to drop the subject completely. We went our separate ways, but thinking things over, I suppose. Me, well, I was tired of thinking things over. Logan, on the other hand, had apparently been planning things, as I'd learn later.

Eventually, we were called into the professor's office for debriefing. We told him everything that happened, minus the slapping. Logan and I shared a look as I made the decision to leave that out of the story and he played along with it.

Xavier told us that Dioxin was sleeping now and would be headed out to Florida by the end of the week. There was a school for mutants there, minus the whole X-men part, where he would fit in perfectly.

I didn't really understand why we chased him or what we learned from the chase. Xavier said his real name was Robert and that he only appeared on the mutant radar a few months ago, being too obvious about his abilities. Not much else was learned. He was secretive about his past and where he was really from, but given the choice he said he wanted to go to Florida.

Xavier dismissed us then, and while part of me thought since he was psychic he'd ask or explain the slap, I was grateful when he let me leave. I did know though, I had to talk to this kid before he left. Hopefully he wouldn't try and hurt me again, because, well, he's a minor and I don't want to go to jail.

That night, Logan and I watched a movie in his room, which was weird because we sat on his bed and you know all about expectations and yeahhh. But it was also interesting because he didn't even try to rush it. I mean, we were watching The Rock, which is this crazy movie about people escaping from Alcatraz and I didn't really like it, but he did. Anyways, there were those boring parts and we started kissing.

I've been dating Logan for how long? I feel about him, how? I mean, I knew the answers to all of these but I also was aware that I shouldn't rush things, especially when I've seen how fast they fall apart when it comes to Logan. So, we stuck to kissing. I fell asleep on him and woke up around 3 under his covers.

At first, I decided I'd tiptoe it back to my room because, well, a tiny part of me was still playing at hard to get. But it was as if he sensed it and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me closer to him. Well, c'mon, what would you have done? It was just…he was just too damn comfortable, and so I drifted back to sleep.

He woke me up bright and early to train – joy – and start our day. He seemed distracted throughout the lesson. I kept asking him what was on his mind but he would only smirk and call me crazy. At the end of our session, he kissed me on the temple and told me he'd see me for dinner.

What a weirdo.

"So, I told Logan everything." I explained to Storm over lunch on the patio.

"How did he take it?" She asked, sipping her Diet Coke.

"It was weird. I think he was upset that I had kept it from him, especially because he has a similar story. But I don't really know…we ended the conversation at a weird point."

"You knew that he'd be upset though, and he'll get over it. At least you told him now."

"Yeah, at least." I nodded in agreement, something turning in my stomach.

The day went on and Logan never showed up for dinner. I again, confided in Storm. She just laughed though, which was concerning too.

"Logan went to the city for something, so he probably got caught in traffic."

"Sheesh, traffic? You'd think with modern technology they could get rid of that. Good luck terminal illnesses…"

"Hey!" Storm scoffed, "That was kind of rude."

"Sorry, you're right. I'm just…out of it. I have been ever since that stupid mission yesterday."

"Well, maybe Logan's getting you an engagement ring. There, feel better."

My stomach dropped, yet again.

"Oh my gosh." Storm said, "You just turned white as a sheet! I was joking, Logan would never…well I don't mean never, I just mean…well you haven't been dating for long enough!"

"Don't scare me like that! I don't know what I'd do if he did ask me, oh great, do I have to worry about that now?"

"No!" Storm yelled. "We need to get your mind off of things. C'mon, we're going to the movies. Let's go see the Time Travelers Wife. I read the book so now I'm anxious…"

"Right. Ok. Let's go."

The movie was good…a really sad love story actually. It made my heart ache, so Storm lent me the book so I could _really _feel the heart ache. I was carrying it back to my room, and just as I shut the door behind me, Logan was there, flinging it wide open again.

"Sorry 'bout dinner." He said, smirking. I turned around and folded my arms, clutching the book to my chest.

"You should be." I said.

He chuckled, "You're cute when you're mad." Logan leaned in and, resting a hand on my neck, pulled me in for a kiss. I tried, I really did, to not give in, but he's really good and his lips were really gentle and soon enough, I was kissing back.

I pulled away, keeping my arms crossed. "Well, what's your excuse?"

"I'll explain it all in the morning. Goodnight, Piper." He kissed me again, quicker, and turned around to leave. "It'll be worth the wait. Promise."

"Goodnight…jerkface!" I teased. I tried to stay mad but when he turned back to me, I couldn't help but smile. I guess I was just trusting him this time.

-0-0-

Someone was shaking me, and it wasn't Dee because he was sleeping with Scott. Which was weird, because why would anyone want to sleep with Scott? But then again, Jean does & she plans on doing it for the rest of her life! Gross.

The shaking continued and I mumbled something. Whoever was doing it chuckled and suddenly I felt hot breath on my cheek. "Wake up." A deep voice whispered.

I shrieked because of the sudden closeness and being still asleep, and taking the covers with me, fell off the bed. I covered myself up and looked up at Logan, leaning over the edge of the bed, laughing at me. Quickly I shut my eyes again, trying to go back to sleep.

Clearly, I can't have a life because any time I proceed to do so I wake up tired. A hermit's life for me, I suppose.

I felt it before I saw it. Logan reached down and grabbed at my blanket. He hopped over the bed and tried to pull it from me. I grabbed it quick and screamed at him. "Don't you **DARE!"**

He cocked his head to the side, "Well, hmm…it's not cold out. So why do you need this blanket?"

"I'm desperately trying to sleep, and it's comfortable. Duh." I argued, tucking it around me.

He started laughing and let go of the blanket, "Oh, no, that's not it at all…let's see…your window is open. It's August. It's hot…are you nude?" He asked.

"No!" I yelled. Too loudly.

His eyes got wide and he got a mischievous look on his face.

"Oh no you don't!" I wiggled away from him, "Don't you even think-"

That was dumb, of course he was going to try and get the blanket off of me and in case you forgot about how strong he was, I really didn't stand a chance. He bent down to his knees and pulled the blanket off of me. Luckily, I was wearing underwear. Just…you know, it was summer, and it was hot and I was alone in my bed. So sue me!

"I hate you!" I said, quickly sitting Indian style and covering myself with my pillow.

"No you don't." He cleared his throat and sat down next to me, "And I like you too much to let you even think such a thing." Ignoring the fact that I probably had horrible morning breath, I allowed him to kiss me good morning.

"Seriously, Logan…I think by now I should totally be used to the random early morning wakeups, so I'm asking you to forgive me because I'm not, but-"

"Well, I got a surprise for you, so I figured it was a good excuse. Pack a bag – we're going on a little trip. Down...er…" He looked around and shrugged, "memory lane, you could say."

"Mem…memory" I paused to yawn, " –what?" I shook my head. "I can't take any crazy trips – as much as I want to – school starts on Monday and my knowledge of teaching can be summed up in-"

"I don't mean to cut your rant short, but you'll like this one Surge. Told ya I had a good reason for bailing."

"If I tell you I trust you, will you just let me go back to sleep?"

"No. C'mon…" He pulled me by the arm and forced me up, but then he quickly turned away. "See? I'm even letting you get ready in peace. Be ready in 15 if you can. Dress semi warm, we're taking the bike." And with that he turned on his heel and left me standing in my panties in my room.

"Oh Logan…" I mumbled, bending over to pick up the pillow.

-=-=

Well, what do you pack for a mystery weekend getaway with your boyfriend? Now, you don't have to be dating Logan for years to know that he's not the romantic-heart-shaped-hot tub getaway kind of guy. But that didn't mean he wasn't thinking, you know, romantically, if you catch my drift.

Not that it matters, not that I have any of that sexy stuff you see people on tv wearing. I didn't plan for this! And was I supposed to? Its not like Logan & I have…whatever.

I thought seriously about calling Storm in to help me but I was feeling rushed as it was. Also, I'm a big girl…I should be able to do some things on my own. If Logan was thinking that way, well it was his loss if he wasn't happy because he gave me no notice!

Suddenly I had a gut feeling that Logan wasn't thinking that way. I packed jeans and sweatshirts, despite the fact that it was now August. I looked around my room and packed all that bathroom stuff I'd need and figured that Scott would take care of Dee. So that was everything.

Why, then, did my stomach feel this way?

Oh right, it was something Logan said. Why is it, if you think about something but forget what it is, your stomach stays in that horrible clenched position until you remember it or rethink it enough to make it go away?

Ah, what had he said that got me? Then I remember, and sat on my bed, trying to not analyze things too much. He had said it was a trip down memory lane…I had no memories! And ever since I'd known him, we'd been here…that leaves my memories of…

0-0-0

Doo doo doo doo…DUN!

Hope you enjoyed, haha…it's good to be back!

Pleasereview,Noflames,thanks!


	25. Pieces of what we used to call home

Disclaimer – I own nothing

Thanks for keeping with me guys…sometimes I worry about my writing, but so long as people keep reading this stuff I'll keep writing it. I'm so thankful for all of the positive feedback I've been getting and it really keeps me going.

Thanks again…for everything!! I hope you enjoy…

-==-

We can never go home  
We no longer have one  
I'll help you carry the load  
I'll carry you in my arms  
The kiss of the snow  
The crescent moon above us  
Our blood is cold  
And we're alone  
But I'm alone with you

(The Editors – No Sound But The Wind)

"Logan?" I asked, knocking on his door.

"Ready?" I turned and he was behind me.

"Ah, I thought maybe you were…" I gestured to his room.

"Where are your bags?"

"In my room, but-" He turned from me and started walking towards my room, "I really just can't do this trip. And I appreciate it, I really do, but now's not the best time. Maybe later? How about Labor day weekend, when we have a lot more time and not so much work. Plus I should totally be focusing on the training so that next time I don't get slapped, hah." He was ignoring me though, which was making me angry.

I followed him into my room and watched as he picked up my heavy bag with total ease. "Logan!" I shouted, frustrated. Quickly, I shut my door, crossed my arms, and stood in front of it. "Stop ignoring me while I politely turn down your trip!"

"You're not turning me down." He said, trying very hard to keep his smile.

"Uh, yes, I am." I stood my ground, keeping my voice stern. "This isn't happening."

Finally, he looked pissed off, like he heard me, "You don't even know where we're going to turn me down."

"I don't have to! That's how inconvenient this trip is!"

"Bull shit. It's fine, you're fine, now move."

"Logan, listen to me." I held up my hands as he made his way close to the door. "I do appreciate it, all of this work you did. And I appreciate you bailing on our date to plan this –" hello, hidden bitterness, much? "And I also know that you could easily, very easily, make me move out of the way and drag me along. But I'm going to ask you nicely, please, reconsider this. I don't want to go with you." I shrugged then, "I'm sorry."

There was silence between us as I watched the mental debate go on in Logan's head. I knew what he was thinking; does he move me and drag me along, hoping I'll suddenly have fun? Risk making me even angrier and having a miserable time? Or does he listen to me, be hurt or whatever, and just cancel everything?

"Lo-"

"How'd you figure it out?" He finally asked, not moving. Well, at least he wasn't being rash.

"I just…I didn't. You said memory lane, and c'mon…where else would you be taking me?"

"Piper, you know I wouldn't let any harm come to you. Just trust me and let's go." He moved closer again but I grabbed his arms.

"Logan, I can't go back there. I can't even go back there legally, probably, if I wanted to! I think I'm wanted or something."

"Piper, this is America. You can't run from the law by crossing state boarders – for that you need to actually cross country boarders."

"Don't treat me like an idiot!" I snapped, "This is what you do, you treat me like and idiot or you mock me when I'm upset with you! Like last night when I was mad, you were all, 'Oh you're cute when you're mad, allow me to sweep you off your feet and distract you by kissing you with my big manly soft nice lips.' Well, I don't appreciate it! And I don't appreciate you forcing me to take a trip to Philadelphia! Do you honestly expect me to believe something good will come out of this? This is like all of my worst nightmare coming true! It didn't happen that long ago, you can't…" I slowed down a little bit at this point, "You can't just expect me to be ok with everything that happened a month ago."

"Yeah, fine, suck it up. So I mock you. So I make you feel like an idiot. You do it to yourself! I…"

"You what? How do you explain yourself right now?"

"I'm allowed to tease you, it's how we act. We fight and bicker. I say mean things and you say them back. I mock you when you're upset over stupid stuff so that you get over it faster. And I make you feel like an idiot because I know you're actually on to something right. So don't pretend like the little things bother you so much when they didn't before."

"You're pissing me off right now, Logan."

"Yeah, what else is new? I've acted this way long before you met me, yet you still chose to be with me. Nothing changed with either of us, just because we started dating. You liked me how I was then, and I liked you how you were then. People don't change just because they're in a relationship. Feelings do, but we're the same people we've always been. I assumed this was understood. Now, let's go."

"What is wrong with you? Are you dumb? Do you forget that we're in the middle of a goddamn fight right now? I'm so angry at you, I could…I could…Arrghh!!" I let out a strangle cry and punched at his chest.

He took a step back and his face softened, "Feel any better?"

"No. That hurt me more than you." I said, pouting.

"Piper, you know by now when I act that way that it's just me. Doesn't mean I don't care…"

"Well I just don't think that two people who care about each other so much treat each other this way."

I folded my arms across my chest once again.

"Here we go again…the love-me-like-me-hate-me part of our relationship. Should've known it was too good to be true."

I didn't say anything to this. What was that supposed to mean, anyways? The bratty part of me wanted to push past him and sit on my bed and cry. Not out of hurt, out of frustration for not having the world revolve around me and go my way. _(I'm not really that bratty, but when I get mad I always assume the worst in myself)._

Instead, I kept silent. I didn't know what to say. He was right, about everything. Sort of.

"No." I finally spoke, "You're wrong." Yeah, I decided he wasn't actually right. "It's not like that. Ok, fine, the mocking and teasing things, they don't really hurt me. I was glad you kissed me last night because I was able to forget my anger faster. And the whole idiocy thing, yeah I get that too. I make fun of you all the time when you're serious. I guess we do that to each other, we hurt each other's pride. And maybe it's not normal and it's not supposed to be that way, but I guess it works for us. But you're wrong because it isn't back to those days. I know that we're going to be ok, even if you mock me. But this is different. This trip – you're wrong about that. We can't go back there. If you're so curious, go yourself. But Logan…do people make_ you _relive things?"

He let out a long, sad, sigh, as if recalling something. Eventually, he placed my bag on the ground and pulled me in for a hug. After kissing the top of my head, I hugged him back. We stood like that for a little while before one of us spoke. "I wasn't going to make you go anywhere unless you were ready. I guess I forget how much it all hurt you. And I don't want to hurt you…I just know how frustrating it is to not recall things. I know that I wanted to go back and search for those memories."

"But that's the difference between you and I. I know what happened to me. I just can't remember it happening."

"The city of Philadelphia exists, regardless of whether we go now or not. One of these days, we'll have a mission there. Are you going to back out then?"

"No, but that's different…it'll be saving someone's life, or something."

"And what if you going to Philadelphia today saves your own life?"

I pulled back from him, "What could you mean?"

"Being told your past isn't the same as seeing it for yourself."

"Blah blah blah." I pulled away completely and continued to lean against the door.

"We're pretty dysfunctional, aren't we?"

"That's an understatement." He nodded, "But the typical is overrated. I'm tired of knowing the ending of everything."

I smirked, "You so don't know the ending to this one."

"Do I know that you're about to agree to come on this trip?"

"We need to keep talking, first. And by talk, I mean, you need to tell me what happened the day I ended up at Xavier's."

"Oh, that." He rubbed his neck, "Ok. The professor…" He paused and looked at me, "I can't really tell you all of this, Piper."

"Why? Why can't I know the truth? I've never asked you any of this before. And I told you my big secret. Something I'm coming to regret, obviously, I mean, look at where we are now. So you owe me…"

"You're supplying me with reasons_ not _to share with you, you're pointing out that you regret sharing. I don't want to end up like you. No way."

"Logan!" I smacked his arm, "Tell me. Tell me everything and…and I'll go with you to Philadelphia as planned."

He studied me, weighing his options. "Alright, but everything I tell you stays between you and me. No pow wows with Storm. And you can't…please try not to be upset with anyone at the school."

"Logan, I…what are you not telling me?"

"Promise me, Piper Surge Kirby." He said, sternly.

"OK, I'm not 5, and I do have a middle name that's not Surge, its Colee. And I promise, Logan…er…Logan Logan." He didn't really have a last name that I knew of.

He rolled his eyes and leaned on the wall. He looked to the wall and said "Colee, that's pretty." After that we were met with silence until he decided to speak again.

"The professor knew Asa was going to die that day."

0-0-0

Ah! So, pleasereview! Noflames,thanks!


	26. Let it Loose

Ta ta taa…Christmas is coming! Merry Christmas to those of you who celebrate, and to those who don't Happy Holidays.

Hope you enjoy, it's not my last update before Christmas, but I thought I'd just say it now.

Thanks for keeping with me and supporting me and I hope you continue to enjoy this piece here…

-=-=-=

_"Trouble was the reefs we were heading towards, and hope was our only anchor."_ – Dr. Seward, _Bram Stokers' Dracula_

I took a deep breath and closed my mouth, opening it only to say "huh" and shut it again.

_Don't think_. A voice in my head told me, as I waited for Logan to continue, so I didn't.

"He had a vision, I guess. So he sent Scott & I to control the damage. When we got to the scene of the crime, we took Asa and-"

"Oh, God." I said, but shut up immediately. Covering my hand with my mouth, I think I knew what was coming next.

"We took her and we…well Scott messed with wires in the house and started an electrical fire. That took care of the bum…ah," he cleared his throat, "When we…look, Piper…" His sad eyes met mine. I didn't really know what to say, the look on his face made me want to comfort him, but what I was learning was too much. I almost wanted him to hurt when I said my next words.

"Asa burned with the house too. And you had to, or else there'd be a trail. This took care of everything….but me. Where did the police go when they needed to contact me?"

"You went abroad. Or at least, thanks to Jean & Xavier, that's what they thought. She flew in and played the part of your best college friend. Meanwhile, she was messing with a lot of heads. You were told the news but you were so upset you decided to stay in England."

An image of Asa came across my mind, one of her body in the fire. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. I didn't know what to think or do anymore. Nothing could be easy; everything apparently had to be hard.

"Fine." I mumbled. "Let's just go."

"Pi-"

"Don't." I stopped him, "I'm not mad. It's fine. What did I expect you to say? That you took her to a hospital where they realized it was too late and gave her a proper burial? You know what. It doesn't, ah, " I shook my head, trying to get rid of any possible tears, "actually matter. Because, if I recall, Asa wanted to be cremated. Besides, you actually saved me a hell of a lot of shame, so really, really – I should be thanking you. I'm the one who didn't save Asa. I was there at the time when it happened, not after. You just, you know, cleaned up my mess, so thank you…"

I chewed my lip, "Part of me wants to say that its ok that no one stopped it from happening, because we're perfectly good strangers to you guys. But, you're X-Men, aren't you? Or do you strictly save mutants? If he knew she was going to die…why…" I let out a frustrated sigh as I ran my hands through my hair.

We were quiet again, but as he opened his mouth to speak I cut him off.

"Doesn't matter." I answered for him, his sad eyes looking sadder still, watching me as I picked up my bag and left the room. "Lock it behind you." I called, heading towards the garage.

When he finally met up with me in the garage, he kept trying to get me to look at him and talk about it.

"I agreed to go. You told me the truth. So…allow me to hold up my end of the bargain, please."

"See, here's the thing…I don't want to make you go on this trip anymore. So, you don't have to. I release you from your end of the bargain." He said the last half mockingly, trying to make me smile I guess.

"Well, now that I know its safe to go back there, I will."

"We should talk about what just happened."

"Oh come on!" I sighed, "Look, no more talking. I don't want to, and do you? Nothing we could talk about at this point could possibly improve things. "

He nodded and I couldn't tell if he was genuinely agreeing with me or if he was just agreeing because he didn't know how else to handle the situation. And I didn't blame him. I was so torn up internally. With everything you could possibly be torn up about.

And I didn't want to think. There was too much to think about. Too much hurt that shouldn't hurt; things that were fine moments ago now suddenly were tearing me apart.

"Logan, can we just…I don't know, forget this information? For the weekend? I can't deal with it right now. And I know its running away but…but that's what I do best. And I'll deal with it when we get back. But just give me this weekend."

"Yeah," he said slowly. "I'll help make that happen. Yeah." He nodded and loaded my suitcase.

I was suddenly seeing Logan differently, as we rode off. It was different in a strange, but good way. I was starting to really like him, for some odd, odd reason. I don't think that's how I was supposed to be feeling in this moment, but I was. I held on to that feeling as we rode away from the school.

---=-

We arrived at the hotel a little after one, thanks to a few pit stops I insisted on. He didn't seem to mind, which I'm guessing is because he was glad I agreed to come in the end. I had pushed everything out of my mind to the best of my ability, but it's hard to do that when you're on the back of a motorcycle and really all you can do is think. In the end, I couldn't hold a grudge against Logan, at least, not right now.

Logan parked the bike and helped me carry the bags in.

"You ok?" He asked, not looking at me.

"If I weren't, you'd be hearing all about it, I promise."

He chuckled and turned back to me, "Thanks for agreeing to come, Surge."

I was taken aback by the suddenly sentiment. He was thanking me? And being serious?

"Yeah well…I guess maybe I'm as curious as you are in the end." I smiled at him, I couldn't help it.

"Good…" He nodded slowly, a slow smile, fading from his lips, "Plus, I think I'm fallin' for you." With that, he turned towards the hotel again.

"Wait," I caught up to him and blocked his way, "You're _fallen_ for me, as in you already have, or you're falling with a 'g'?"

He seemed to consider this, "Does it matter?"

I considered this, "No."

He nodded and tried to get past me but I stopped him again, "Cos….I'm fallin' for you too."

He smiled at me and I just smiled like an idiot back at him. A crowd of old ladies pushed past us into the hotel and knocked us out of our moment. We stopped smiling like idiots and continued on inside.

_I will so NOT make a huge thing out of this_…this wonderful feeling I have creeping around inside of me. It's not the same as "I love you" but for where we were…it was perfect. I took him by the hand as we walked.

"Wow, you're quite the gentleman, aren't you? Carrying my bags like that for me. How sweet." I teased, following him up to the desk to check in.

"I'm just a nice guy." He smirked, turning his attention to the lady at the desk.

"What's the plan here?" I asked, studying the hotel guests.

"Uh. We can talk about that in private." He said with a wink, noticing the concierge smiling at us.

I put my hand on his arm and rubbed it, "Its our anniversary." I told her, figuring I might as well have a little fun.

Logan let out a dry laugh, clearly not expecting that.

"Oh how sweet! How long have you two been together?"

I smiled sweetly at Logan; "We've been together for 3 years now. It's official tomorrow."

"Married or dating?" She asked, typing away.

Logan said, "Dating" at the same time I said, "Married."

"Ah, we dated for 2 and a half years before getting married, but it'll be three total." I quickly covered, getting a look from him. I ignored it and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"How cute! May I ask how he popped the question?" She raised her eyebrows, "I know it's a little forward of me, but I'm just such a sap!" She clicked her long nails on the counter as something printed for us.

Logan cleared his throat clearly interested in where I was going.

"Oh you know the Mulu? The ship by Penns Landing? Well I'm just_ the_ biggest fan of seafood, but Logan here has an allergy to shellfish," I made a pitying face while playing with his hair, "He knew how I had always wanted to eat there though, but that I'd never ask, because Lord knows the prices there are ridiculous! But he took me out to dinner for a sail around the harbor. It was just us two and there was a violinist…_so_ beautiful. We're both not really showy, you know? So a night alone on a ship…oh it was just too much! But then, as we were dancing after dinner, he says, "Hold up darling, my shoe is untied." And that's just Logan for you-"

Logan cut me off then, "I bent over and pulled out a ring, took her hand, and said, "I can't remember ever wanting to ask this question to anyone more than I do right now. I have for so long. And I have learned so much from you in the time that I've known you, but the most important thing I've learnt is that I need you in my life. I want this forever, and I want forever to start as soon as possible. So," He smiled down at me, probably taking in my clearly startled face, "I said, "Piper Colee Kirby, what are you doing for the rest of your life? How about spending it with me and making me the happiest man in the world?" Corny, I know, but gosh,_ just look at her!"_ He waved and arm in my direction, "You'd ask the same question, the same way, I'm sure." He pulled me close and kissed me quick on the lips. I was in shock, trying to gather my composure. His fake sincerity was going to leave me with a hangover.

"Yup!" I said, taking his hand and throwing in a giggle, as the lady sighed and shook her head in jealousy, "And the next day we drove to Niagara Falls, got hitched, and have been living in paradise since!" I knew by adding that I had become the obnoxious newlywed who is oblivious to all the wrong things going on in her relationship, but this wasn't real situation.

"Wow, you two…that's so incredible! _Like a story or something._ God, I am so beyond jealous." She slid the card over to us, "Don't tell anyone, but I've moved you guys up to the suite…I couldn't resist!"

Logan smiled at her, signed the paper and took the cards, "Thank you Melissa, we hope you find the same happiness as us. Come on, love, there are things that I've been wanting to do to you since West Chester!" He even had to nerve to smack me on the ass as we walked away. I knew my face was bright red up until the elevator doors closed.

0-0-

OK, so by now you guys know I'm not afraid to be painfully corny, but c'mon, that was was fake corny – so it's ok! It was supposed to give you a toothache…hah…well, just wait til you see where that goes. And NO, I'm not having them talk about marriage – seriously – just yet. Sheesh guys, they just met! Anyways…

Pleasereview! Noflames,thanks!


	27. All At Once

Thanks once again guysss…and this will be my final update before Chrimbo Hols…and I'm away afterwards sooo…who knows when my next lil update will be, huh?

Enjoy anyways.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

ALSO: If you get a chance, please read & review my oneshot called **F****or Emma, Forever A****go**...its a LoganOC and I'd really appreciate it!

0-0-0-

**It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.** -Dale Carnegie

"What a show." He commented, handing me one of the extra cards. "Guess you don't need to be a mutant to mess with people and get what you want."

"Yeah, I guess. S'not like I planned it. It was just too easy, the suite is just a perk." I shrugged, pocketing the card.

"You…Piper, you alright with sharing a bed this weekend? We did get the suite so there will be a couch."

"Right, and I'm not going to sleep on a couch when there will be a perfectly fine bed. Besides, I have slept with you before." I blushed again, "Meaning…we've…look I'm fine with it." I laughed at myself. I think the only reason this moment was slightly awkward was because I wanted so badly to mean "_slept with you before"_ in the way it came out, not the way it really was.

"Well I would have slept on the couch, but yes means yes." He laughed too and put an arm around me. "Is that really how you would want someone to propose to you? Girls think about that stuff all the time, right?"

"Don't generalize, not with girls, because you'll never be right." The doors opened on 12 and we proceeded down the worlds' longest hall. "And, when I was little Asa used to take me down to Penns Landing all the time and there was that ship. And she told me how expensive it would be to eat there. And so I always wanted to go there on a date. Just made sense. I don't think about things like engagements, trust me."

He shook his head, "You say it defensively." He put the key in the door and pushed it open once the green light flashed.

"I do not. I'm being honest. If that's going to happen, there doesn't need to be a fancy dinner or trip – that's not what it's about."

He shrugged, dropping the bags, "Well said." And hopefully, with that, the subject would close and stay closed.

I didn't think about things like marriage – that wasn't me. I used to, when I was younger, but bigger things started happening, and you realize that you gotta get your shit together before you can start worrying about things like marriage.

Sure, there was a part of me that would love to get married someday. And if Logan and I ever got to the point where we were just madly in love and he asked me to marry him, of course I'd say yes. It's not like I have reservations about it or anything.

And I guess there are those conversations you have when you're on the first date that cover all of this. The whole, do you want marriage? Kids? Start a family? But we skipped that. I didn't even know the answer to those questions, not really. My philosophy has always been "If it's with the right person and I'm that in love, then I don't see why not." But I had no idea what his thoughts were. And did it matter? If he were to tell me that he'd never, ever in a million years, get married, would that end things with us?

I guess it depends on how I really feel about him.

The room was amazing. He was right, there was a couch and a TV, along with a kitchen area and table. I walked through a set of double doors and found a huge bed, one big enough to fit three, facing a tv. The sheets were red and gold, and of course, silk. There was a huge bathroom to my right along with a Jacuzzi and stand in shower. His and hers sinks and a toilet with its own door. Suddenly I was wishing that we really were here to celebrate our anniversary. With a sigh, I went out to the window and looked out. The view overlooked the entire city…it was amazing. I couldn't wait to see it at night. I really had missed it here, huh…

"Sucks about there being no porch," I commented, "But you're in Philly, why would you want to go outside?"

"So much for hometown pride."

I laughed and smacked him on the butt as I walked away. He looked at me, smiling, and shook his head. "You're asking for it."

"So what if I am?" I commented, shutting the double doors behind me, leaving him in the bedroom.

He busted through the doors and stared at me, studying me, eventually, growling at me. "I'm very frustrated right now." He announced, coming up to me.

"Its ok, I get that a lot." I teased, wrapping my arms around his neck. He mimicked the gesture, pulled me close to him by the hips. He kissed me hungrily and I returned it with the same amount of passion.

"Logan." I whispered, pulling away from his kiss. There were two ends to this dance, I could continue this with him, leading to the obvious, or I could find out what the plan was for this weekend.

As if he knew what I was thinking of asking, he interrupted me, "Questions and plans later, lets just be spontaneous, huh?" He suggested, pulling me in for another kiss.

The next thing I knew, we were spinning slowly towards the double doors.

-0-0—

We spent the afternoon lazing around and other things, not really leaving the room. It was only when we both heard my stomach growling that we realized food was pretty essential.

"So…" I asked, pulling my hair into a ponytail as he pulled his shoes on, "What is the plan? I mean, if this is it for the entire weekend, I'm all for it."

I stood next to him and he pulled me down onto his lap, giving me a quick kiss on the lips, and then nuzzling my neck. "Mmm…I could do that too." He stopped suddenly though, clearing his throat, "But that's not the plan." His warm breath on me neck froze me there.

"Hmm…" I said thoughtfully, kissing him quickly on the neck. "What is the plan then?" I repeated the question.

"Well, tonight…I found out from Xavier, who had foreseen our trip, that a maid had been taking care of your old place. He said we could visit but it would have to be at night. And tomorrow…well, we could go visit your old house."

I was unsure if this was a question or a statement.

"Remember," He said finally, "I'm not going to make you do anything you don't want to."

"Wow. I wish I could..." _freeze this moment forever or something._ Is what I was thinking, but instead I said, "I don't know."

"Let's get something to eat and think about it."

I hoped off of his lap and led him out the door, "Let's just cut to the chase. We both know I'll agree to go. I want to though…now that we're here. There's so much I've forgotten about, you know? Just from having to leave so suddenly. I bought a whole new wardrobe when I moved to New York! Now I can at least get my winter clothes…"

"You know the professor is going to ask you to empty it out, right?"

"Now? I thought…"

"Well, eventually. He didn't say now. But he's not going to have some lady take care of the place for too long, don't you think?"

"Right…that makes sense." We got onto the elevator and I told him I knew this amazing steak place we could go to, one I had mentioned to him before. I couldn't believe I was back in Philadelphia with my boyfriend. I couldn't believe he went through all of this trouble to plan this trip for me.

And I won't lie; there were a lot of things going on in my head, both good and bad. I had said I wanted to forget everything for the weekend and he was doing a great job of helping me do that, which was amazing but…

But I wasn't completely naïve. I knew going back to our house tonight & tomorrow was going to be difficult. I knew tonight I'd have a really hard time, and I almost didn't want him to be there for it.

Now, when it comes to being sentimental, I'm guilty. Not overly though. I get sentimental, let it affect me, and move on. When I was in high school one of my best friends got kicked out of her house so she moved in with us for almost a year. When summer came she moved out to Colorado to be with her aunt and uncle.

When she left, I knew I would never see her again. We were in 9th grade, so close to each other, but something was tearing us apart. I started learning all about that when I was in high school, how things are going to happen no matter how much you know they aren't supposed to. But she left, and when we left the airport after dropping her off, Asa turned to me, with watery eyes, and said, "We won't be seeing her again…realistically."

She knew I had plans and fantasies of visiting her and she visiting me, but it wasn't an option, with the situation she was in. When I went home that night and Asa went to work, I walked through the house and every time I found something that I could connect with her, I would cry. A hat she won playing poker. Her room. The videogames we'd play all the time. Cry, cry, cry.

I didn't cry for her again and it didn't hurt to look at the things anymore. Sure, I was young, but she meant a lot to me. I didn't have people that stayed around in my life; Asa was the only one. And look where she was now.

So I was aware of how difficult it would be to go back there, but I also was aware that I did have a new home now, someone to love or who was "fallen/falling" for me, and I wasn't alone. I didn't know how permanent my situation was, but I was happy there and I didn't have plans to leave, despite the fact that maybe they could have helped out.

I wasn't ready for this, in the end, but that's ok. How much of the time in life are we ever ready for what happens? I mean, I was _so_ not ready to meet Logan when I did, and I was so not ready to start dating someone. But here I am and I couldn't have it any other way.

We walked to the restaurant, his arm around me as we cut through the park and watched the people walking their dogs. We weren't X-men, we weren't mutants, and we weren't memory-less and we weren't different. In this moment in time we were just a couple, walking in the park, happy in the moment we had. Because that's what we did – we lived by moments.

0-0-

Ah, weird!

Pleasereview!Noflames,thanks!


	28. Stranger in my house

I've achieved the ULTAMITE FREEDOM, but…I can't say what that is just yet, haha. Anyways, thanks for your patience, I hope you enjoy!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

-0-0-0-

**It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.** -Dale Carnegie

As we finished stuffing out faces with every type of meat imaginable, the conversation turned once again to the point of this trip.

"I have a confession to make." Logan said, setting down his empty glass.

"Oh boy, these make for a jolly good time."

"Your language confuses me so much…I know you don't really remember, but are you sure you were raised in Philadelphia?" He teased.

"Right next to Will Smith." I said smirking, "Go on then, out with it."

"I think…well I guess I know, I have ulterior motives for taking you on this trip. I really want you to remember, but part of the reason is because I'm selfish."

"I figured," I took a sip of my rum and coke. So I liked to have a cocktail with my dinner on a Friday night. Sue me. Its not like I was going to be smashed when I went to the house. "I mean, Logan, ever since I told you I had forgotten…well that's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell you. I didn't want you to look at me differently or think about the situation differently. And you do. And that's OK I guess. Part of me figured it out long ago when you said "Memory Lane" that this was for your sake too. I don't actually know what it is like to be you, Logan, because I remember bits of my life."

"Its not that….I'm not comparing your situation to mine. I guess what I mean," he paused as the waiter picked up our paid check, "is that I need you to remember because then maybe…"

"There's hope for you?" He looked away from me then and cleared his throat.

"It's a nice thought, Piper, but…I think that ship has sailed."

"Why? " I asked, incredulously, "How could you be so sure?"

"Some things you're just certain of. And maybe it's good that I don't remember. But I just want to know…what it's like when you do get it all back. For your sake and mine."

"And that's ok." I reached across the table and took his hand, "I don't mind sharing this thing with you, and I knew that you had other motives, but…"

"But I care too damn much about you to do this just for me." With that he picked up his leather jacket and put it on.

I did the same with my black one and followed him out the door. "Hey," I grabbed his arm and stopped him on the sidewalk, "Don't look so upset, ok? I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't want to be. It's ok, I promise." I pulled him in for a quick kiss.

"We'll need a cab." I said, walking up to the curb and trying to hail one. He came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, kissing me quickly on the neck.

Though it was mumbled, I could have sworn he said, "What would I do without you?"

0-0-0-0-

We were silent in the cab ride to the apartment complex. Asa and I had lived on the bottom level of an apartment complex, our front door opening to a tiny concrete porch and a courtyard complete with a fountain and all. There were metal gates at the entrance to the courtyard and you'd need a card or a code to get in. Or a mutant.

Finally, seeing this as my moment to shine, I put a hand over the number box and sent a little shock through it, unlocking the doors.

"Beautiful." Logan commented, laughing.

We headed up a staircase, towards the square, grassy land, with the fountain in the courtyard dyed blue for some strange reason.

"You realize I won't remember anything just from going here, right?" I asked as we got spritzed on by spray drops from the blue fountain.

"I'm aware." He said, falling silent after that.

We came to 109, the completely dark apartment. There was a stairway that came down at the entrance to the patio, and above loud music was playing. This wasn't a partying community, but these neighbors seemed to be new.

A girl in a skimpy black dress blew past us towards the stairs, followed by a guy in board shorts and a pink polo shirt, with enough gel in his hair to fill up a whole bottle. "Bran-_donn,"_ She whined as he followed close behind her, " I said you could only come back with me if you pretended you didn't know me!"

"Babe, that'll be as easy as taking candy from a baby." He scoffed, breezing past us.

"Ew, cute, a joke about minors. I turned 18 a year ago!"

Logan and I shared a look. One that said **"REALLY?" **but we didn't say anything when the door to the upstairs opened and there were shouts of "HEY!!" and a Kanye West song spilled out along with the other party noises.

"OK, that was…it's not usually like this." I laughed, "I almost wish they would've lived here when we did. Asa would not have taken that…it would have been fun to watch her bust a party." I said, laughing.

We stood awkwardly, looking everywhere but the front door. Finally I nodded towards it, "Shall we?"

He pulled a key out of his pocket, "Here, you do the honors, darlin'" I took it from him with a shaky hand.

It smelled funny, that's for sure. It didn't smell like home at all, like Asa or anything familiar. It smelled like Pine Sol and incense or something strange and strong. "What is that? Who did he hire to clean this place anyways, Jimi Hendrix & Mr. Clean?"

Logan was too busy looking around to notice the smell. "I promise it doesn't always smell like this, usually it smells like burning flesh or dirty baby."

"What?" He made a face as he turned to me.

"Just making sure you're paying attention."

There wasn't too much to see. To our right was the kitchen table, a red marble counter, and the fridge and appliances. To the left was a huge beige couch positioned in front of a flat screen tv with DVDs under it.

But there were a lot of pictures everywhere. I forgot about that. About how Asa always framed pictures and kept them around the house. I never really told her how much I liked them, but she should have known.

He walked over to one on the counter and picked it up. It was a photo of Asa and myself in Disneyworld when I was 14. I had on a blue wizard hat and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, smiling. We were both ridiculously happy.

Seeing these pictures made me think and I made a mental to note to get a picture with Logan. At least one, at some point. You can't _not_ have a picture of the person you're dating, can you? Well you can, but I wanted one. I had all these photos in my room, but none of actual people. Being here and remembering how much they all meant to me made me want some back at the mansion too. I'd share this with Storm and hopefully she'd agree.

"Cute." He said, laughing, "Look at little Piper." He picked up another one, me unwrapping a box at Christmastime. I remembered that one because it was our first Christmas together. Asa had no idea what to buy me, but she seemed to get it right anyways. I look funny, and spoiled, not with gifts, but love. It was a strange year for me.

"Ha ha." I used my best dry laugh and shook my head at him, smiling. This wasn't so bad, not yet anyways. It was kind of like going to a museum, after hours, when no one could yell at you not to touch things.

"God you look like you were trouble. Thankfully, you're much less feisty now." He added sarcastically, walking over to the coffee table by the couch. Down the hall there was a bathroom on the left and on the right was a computer room.

I found the laptop closed at Asa's desk, along with mine on my own desk. I was a Mac and she was a PC. How us. How typical. I sat on the black swivel chair and opened hers up, momentarily distracted by a photo of her and I at my high school graduation. She's wearing my cap and hugging me. _So proud._

The computer finally booted up and her home screen, a picture of some garden maze, finally showed up. Technology is funny…the pages that she was looking at last on the Internet were still minimized at the bottom. I wondered if they worked at all.

I clicked them, all two of them. The first was the homepage for the bank with a message that her session has expired in big black letters. The second one was her Twitter page. I hadn't even known she had one. That was kind of sneaky of her.

"I'm using the bathroom!" I heard Logan shout.

"Uh-huh, go for it!" I yelled back. Was the water even on?

I clicked on her profile and it took a long time to reload. I had assumed it would ask for a name and password since it's been so long, but it just loaded. Her twitter name was AsaBase, which actually, was really clever. I was jealous that I hadn't been so clever with my own name.

She hadn't said much, little things, links to news sights. Warnings about being safe. In the end, no matter how clever her Twitter name was, she was always a cop. I sighed and shut the computer and turned towards mine.

At the school I had my own laptop, but none of my information. As the blue screen turned to grey on my Mac, I remembered all the music and photos – PHOTOS! – I had on here. Suddenly I was really anxious.

My desk was messy, junk everywhere. This drove Asa crazy but I hated when she touched my stuff so she had to let it alone. Papers from school and newspapers that I never read. A huge pile of old magazines from the summer. A t-shirt, even, which was weird – I was disorganized, not a slob.

Finally my background, a cityscape of Philadelphia came up. I had nothing open, which was lame, but I remembered an external hard drive I had somewhere. I quickly plugged it in to take all of my info back with me and set off to see the rest of the house while that loaded. That's technology for you, instead of grabbing a photo album, I'm grabbing a hard drive.

-0-0

Random at the end, I know, but it all leads up to something….

Pleasereview!Noflames,thanks!


	29. Worries

Thank you to my loyal readers/reviewers…No one really responded to my last chapter, so I didn't really have motivation to update…If you like this in anyway, please, just let me know, so I know if I'm wasting my time or if I should continue. Thank you guys for everything!

I hope you like this. I wrote it about a month ago and didn't post it. I have loads of places to go with this, but suggestions are welcome. Enjoy!

-0-0

If you got worries, then you're like me.  
Don't worry now, I won't hurt you.  
And, if you got worries, then you're like me.  
Don't worry now, I won't desert you.

- Worries, by Langhorne Slim -

I went into my room and found my unmade bed, posters from the Dark Knight, a framed painting from the beach, and a closet full of clothes. I opened it up and thought over what I'd need. There were a few things I absolutely loved that I needed to have, just because I missed them. Band shirts, jeans that were rare, and a hoodie from school. There was a trunk in the bottom with all of my winter clothes in it too, but I couldn't even think about winter right now. It was August!

"What the hell is this?" Logan half growled, half shouted, stomping into the room.

He thrust a photo into my hands and I laughed. I looked at his face, his eyebrows were raised and he was trying not to smile. It was a photo of prom from senior year. I went with a random guy in my grade, just as friends who weren't actually friends. Awkward.

"Oh yeah, senior prom, that's real love." I held it to my chest and twirled back and forth. "You should be so jealous, Greg was _quite _the date, if you get what I mean." I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Not funny, Piper." He attempted saying, but he couldn't help smiling, "I don't take that lightly." He grabbed me at the waist.

"What're you gonna do about it?" And then he squeezed in reply, ticking me. "Don't do tha-ahahaha-at!" I cried, falling back onto my bed.

He fell with me and continued, "I can't believe you went to prom with another man! I wanted to go with you so badly! I wrote "PROM?" in huge letters on your car after school!"

"Yeah, well, Greg wrote "PROM?" in flowers! On the lawn! By school! Everyone saw!" He stopped then and asked, "Wait, really?"

I was about to say "Mm-HM!" But he grabbed me again and I shouted, "No! Not really," through tears of laughter, "Stop! He didn't really do that – he asked me over IM and we were just friends!"

He stopped what he was doing but continued to straddle me, "Oh, good. I was worried I'd have to claw a guy up; isn't that how they do it in Philadelphia?"

"Shut up." I teased, "You better kiss me before I start looking for Greg's screen name."

"Oh no you don't." He bent over and kissed me, while I wrapped my arms around him.

The moment started to get pretty intense and he stopped for a second, in fact, the second after his shirt was off. At this point, we were both shirtless. "Is this…ok?" He asked.

"I think it fits, considering the circumstances." By that, I mean, this was a good thing and I wanted to take something good away from being here, "But not while Jenna watches!" I grabbed the heart shaped pillow from my bed and threw it at the wall. "There."

"There." He laughed, leaning over to capture my lips in a kiss once again. (And yes, I name my pillows…sue me!)

0-0-0-

Later on, I walked over to Asa's room while Logan went to explore the computer room. I told him he could go through whatever he wanted on my side of the room, hoping I didn't have any secrets that he shouldn't see. I did have word documents but he wouldn't go through that stuff.

As I stood in front of the closed door, I felt like I had to knock. Unless her door was open, I always knocked. I tapped it lightly, as if she was going to yell "come in!" or "Just a minute!" from the afterlife. Without waiting to actually see if I could tempt the dead, I pushed the door open.

This room was hard, just as I thought it would be. Her bed, purple and gold striped sheets, was made perfectly. The dresser was completely clean, closet doors shut, bathroom door slightly ajar. I sat on her bed and stared at the photos on the wall, my reflection in the mirror, and the cleanliness of everything. Eventually I lay back down. Was she really gone? Or was she going to come in the room suddenly, back from her shift at work?

This was how she lived, so clean; it was impossible to say the last time she had been here. I wished the cleaning lady never came so that I could at least remember what she smelled like.

I reached behind me and pulled a pillow free from the sheets. I laid on it and breathed deeply. There it was, the lavender perfume and dove soap, the cover up that smelled every time I'd hug her. Was she really gone?

I guess the day took a toll on me, one I hadn't realized. I had been thinking about how she couldn't be gone, how she couldn't be gone – it _wasn't _her time – and crying silent tears, when I must've fallen asleep.

Someone was gently shaking me, and I felt the weight shift in the bed. "I'm up, Asa, I just…am looking for something behind my eyes." I mumbled, clutching the pillow closer to me. Slowly, it was dawning on me that there was no Asa to shake me awake anymore.

"Hey." The male voice whispered, "Piper, Piper…"

Slowly I opened my eyes and stared ahead of me at the red blinking lights of her clock – midnight. "Logan?" I croaked, turning towards him.

"I'm here." He said, rubbing my back gently.

"I'm not really awake." I said, feeling torn between shutting my eyes again or running out of this place as fast as I could. He sat there for a few minutes, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he looking at her photos and remembering how he burned her body? I was. I kept thinking of the burning building. But I didn't want him to start suffering from those types of memories. Logan was infamous for nightmares around the school; everyone knew about them, _mainly _Rogue. And I didn't want to add to that.

"It's ok." I said, finally sitting up and leaning on him, "It really is. This is like closure…and…Logan its ok about what happened."

He didn't say anything; he just waited for me to speak. "What you did…I understand it. I know you did it for a good reason."

"Ok." He said, getting up from the bed. "I'm going to sit on the porch…howl at the moon and all that…whenever you're ready, I'll be there." He was suddenly full of attitude, which I ignored as I finished scoping out the house. I grabbed my pile of clothes and my piece of technology and looked around one last time.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw movement then. "Logan?" I called, searching down the hall. I went back to my room and looked inside…I guess it was in my head. After I switched off the light I headed outside to find Logan smoking a cigar. I shoved everything in my backpack and sat on the brick wall. Upstairs, Jay-Z could be overheard.

"Don't try to save me from myself, ok?"

Startled, I looked towards Logan who was staring at the moon. "You're mad at me now? I think we have the most bipolar relationship ever." I shook my head as I said this last part.

"I'm not mad. But don't try to save me from myself. That's all I'm saying." He took a puff of his cigar.

"And what does that mean, exactly?" I asked, amazed at the turn the night was taking.

"KEG STAND!" Someone shouted from above. Was I back in college?

"It means, I don't need you to lie to me about things being ok when they aren't. I know what happened with Asa and that house was horrible. You don't have to lie for my well being."

"I don't want you to feel guilty on my behalf-" But he wasn't hearing me as I tried to explain.

"I'm not!" He yelled, angrier than I realized.

"Don't shout…just…fine. Sorry I said that then." I threw the bag on the ground, crossed my arms, and looked away. _"Can't do anything right."_ I mumbled to myself.

"I've got pretty good hearin', kid."

"What's with the kid bullshit now? You're moodier than an 8th grade girl." I snapped.

He sighed, angrily, and kicked at the brick wall next to me, moving it a little bit.

"Sheesh."

"Well I just…I'm not going to forget what happened just because you tell me its ok."

"I know that! I'm not dumb. I just didn't want you to be so upset over something because, huh maybe you'd think I was upset over it. Shewas _my_ mother after all."

"Yeah," He waved at the house, "I'm aware. And I'm glad that you're not going to hold me accountable for that, but it still happened."

He sat down beside me after a few minutes.

"Why do it then? Why be and X-men member? Why work for the professor if you're _so_ unhappy with your job?" I wanted to ask "Why pressure me into joining too?" But didn't. Now wasn't the time. Still, he was sounding like a hypocrite.

"There are reasons. There used to be none. Now there are a few. It's a good thing to be apart of…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "I'm sorry for being so angry about this. I just…well, as you put it, can't do anything right."

"Why on earth do you think that?"

"You're the greatest thing I've got to say for myself right now. Even the past I _do _have is terrible. I can brag about you though, I can talk about how I have you in my life. But I don't think that it's enough."

"I don't…"

"I'm the same person I was before we were dating. I'll continue to do terrible things, even though we're together. Even if I don't want to."

We already had this conversation, about being the same person before and after you start dating someone.

"Yeah but…look there are a lot of reasons why you're good for me. And I don't like to brag about myself, but maybe that's why you have me – to help you not to do horrible things. We fight a lot, yeah, but that's you and I fighting because something terrible might potentially happen. Some people don't fight, but then the terrible things end up happening. Logan, you make yourself out to be this horrible monster…and you're really not. You need a little perspective."

We sat in silence, I rubbed his back and he pulled me in towards him. We sat like that for a while, listening to the angry party coming from above, staring at the starless city sky, and just sat with each other.

I believed every word that I said to him, despite the fact that this was hard. All the fighting…but it was worth it, in the end, to not be so alone. I'm fighting for a love that is completely worth it. And maybe we are discussing the "L" word a bit too soon into the relationship, but it is moments like this that make me wonder why I hadn't said it sooner.

"I wonder what Di-oh-gee sees in Scott anyways." I said finally.

-90909090

Review,please! Noflames,thanks!


	30. God, Please Let Me Go Back

**Thank you guys sooo much! Thank you for sticking this out with me and continuing to read, even after all these month and lack of updates! But here I a, once again, updating!!! Hope you enjoy, and if you're just getting to the party, WELCOME!!**

So, anyone got a twitter or..a tumblr? I doo! Guilty as charged!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_I could easily stay, and never come home  
Looking out on the field like it's never been changed  
The past is a place that you can never return to  
Even though people say that this is where you belong_

_- The Sounds_

We woke up early the next morning, ate breakfast in the hotel lobby, and headed out to my old-old house. I didn't let my mind dwell on it, and I tried my best not to put any pressure on either of us. We were just going on a bike ride, don't think too much about it.

And it was that simple, until we pulled up.

The road disappeared and became dirt, which eventually ended. "Home sweet home." I mocked, as we got off the bike.

"Hey, I'm just followin' directions here. You take a look." Logan passed me a piece of printed paper. There wasn't a map but directions that were clearly written out in an e-mail.

"Where'd you get these?" I asked, studying them. None of the words jumped out at me, but now I knew I grew up on Shield Drive.

"The professor. Anything?" He was walking around the trees, trying to see if there was any bit of old road.

"Nah, we're on Shield Drive…actually, I guess that's it." I pointed towards my left where the side of the road went down and a bit of a path could be seen through the trees. There weren't any others around, so I had to assume that was it.

"Piper, I'd hate to see what you'd do if you were out here on your own. You don't just walk down mysterious paths in the woods."

"Sure you do! We both know that! C'mon, do you see any other alternative? Unless you think _you _made a wrong turn?" Ah, that'll get him, for sure. I mean, no, I wasn't positive this was the right way, but what harm could come from it? I got the effin' Wolverine, if anything comes after us.

He grabbed the paper from me, looked at it, looked at the path, looked at me, and then back at the paper. "I _didn't_ make a mistake. I guess we're going down the path."

"Oh please," I said, leading the way, "You act like it's the path of doom. Oooh, don't attack me big scary tree!" I leaned back, pretending a tree was jumping out at me.

"You never know." Logan looked around, almost ominously, and then followed behind me.

0-0-0

We walked for what felt like hours, but in reality, was only 1. The path was hard to see most of the time, but luckily the sun was high in the sky. I had worn my black shorts and red and white striped v-neck, along with black Nikes. I wish I'd worn pants, thanks to the thorns I kept running into.

Logan was wearing jeans and a light green shirt. I wanted to ask if he was dying of heat, but he was too busy memorizing our surroundings and I didn't want to distract him from that.

"Logan, shouldn't we have seen it by now? Obviously, Shield Drive, along with the house, is long gone. Let's just call it a day and head out to lunch. I'm getting hungry and…"

"Shh…" He held up a finger and slowly walked past me.

"I get cranky…" I finished, mainly to myself. How frustrating is it when someone shushes you? It's like my pet peeve. I mean, c'mon! I'm not 5. I know how to shut up without you making noises at me!

Logan threw me a look and then turned back towards the trees. He pushed through them and gestured for me to follow. More thorns cut up my legs, but I did as bid. Huh, that rhymes.

The trees cleared to more trees, a creek, and eventually a clearing. Have you ever seen Forest Gump? When Jenny runs away and prays in the field, "Dear God, please make me a bird so I can fly far, far, far away?" I wondered, was my childhood troubled enough that I imitated that scene? Assuming my house was nearby, I had the perfect field to run to for praying.

"What do you see? Or smell? Or sense? Or whatever?" I asked, as we walked through the tall grass. The path had ended and we were now blazing our own trail.

He sighed. "I smelled something burning. But it's gone now."

"No, it's not, look." I pointed to a pile of something burning ahead and towards the right. We walked up to the pile – wood, mainly.

"Nothing exciting about this. Except that it's man made…" I pointed out.

Logan bent down to examine it more. "Hmm…" No other scents here, nothing strange." He stood and we walked on.

Eventually, in the distance, we saw it. It was an old, faded white house. That's the only way to describe it. There was a porch with vines growing over it, the white paint was flaking, and the roof was rusted and tin. Did I grow up in the south or the 70s? I was confused. This couldn't possibly be my house. It looked too old, too dilapidated. None of it was making sense.

"Logan, this house up here…I mean, it's too old. The road is too gone. How is any of this possible?"

"Accordin' to Charles…the day you left was the last time anyone was here. No one bought it and eventually it was just abandoned."

"Still, the road is completely gone? How does something become so…forgotten?" We exchanged a look then, one tinged with sadness. How does anyone forget his or her childhood? Their home? I felt like I messed up somewhere. As if it were my fault for not remembering. Maybe I hadn't tried enough. Maybe I ignored it for too long.

My parents, maybe they were jerks or terrible, but they deserved to be remembered, whether it was with fondness or disdain. And the house…there had to have been some good times here. How horrible do you have to be or act to be forgotten? Even Hitler was remembered. Not with fondness, but he was remembered.

But then I started to think; maybe my family was that bad, they were just that terrible that no one cared. They were dead and now the house was empty and no one wanted to remember, it belonged there alone in a field to disappear and fade away, along with my childhood. Maybe I wasn't meant to remember any of it. Maybe there was a really good reason I couldn't recall a thing.

By now we were staring the house head on. There was a good possibility that it was so old and worn that I wouldn't be able to walk up the stairs without falling through. I looked to Logan and asked, "Do you think it's safe?"

He seemed unsure. I didn't need to be a mind reader to understand what he was thinking. He was thinking that if he sent me in there, I could end up getting hurt and for nothing. But he was also thinking that all the answers could be in there, if I would only just try. He was thinking that if I didn't at least try it would all be a waste and he would constantly be wondering.

Actually, that last part was all me. I knew that there was a chance I'd fall through the floor or something, but in a way, it would be worth it. I'd hate to be haunted by this, if I left and never even checked it out. What if everything could be answered if I were to just walk around? And even if not, at least I'd have tried. Besides, the place could blow over any second now, so this might be my only chance.

"Oh-kay." Was all I said, in response to his silence. I left him standing there and walked up the creaking stairs to the screen door that was missing its screen. I pulled it up and pushed. The door didn't budge so I kicked it. I guess those training sessions with Logan were paying off!

The house smelled horrible. Like something had died in it. Wait, let me rephrase – like something had died in it and stayed in it. I hoped that wasn't the case…I shuddered as I walked very carefully throughout the rooms.

There was a dining room with a table on the floor, surrounded by chairs. Everything was coated in layers and layers of dust. I couldn't even see out the window, but the sunlight was still getting in somehow.

The dining room led to a kitchen with nothing in it but a fridge. Something told me not to open it, not because something scary would be in there, but because it would smell. I never did listen to my instincts, unless they were talking about food. And so, I opened up the door. It took a lot of effort but I yanked it open.

An old jar of something red and nothing else was sitting on a shelf. I slammed it shut and opened the top, the freezer part of it.

There was nothing else of note in the kitchen, except for the faded and torn yellow curtains that hung over the window by the sink. I held them and closed my eyes. Did I eat breakfast in here? I tried to see a woman, my mother, washing dishing in this sink. My father, sitting a table in the corner drinking coffee.

None of this felt right, not a bit. And nothing was coming back either. With a heavy sigh I walked out and into the next room. Nothing in here either, but it looked like it would have been the living room. I had been to abandoned buildings before, I knew they got picked over fast. I imagined the bank or whoever took all the furniture out and most of what was left over would have been taken by bums. Of course, all of this would have been when the house was still on a map, back when a road led to it.

After walking around, very carefully, I headed towards the staircase. The stairs were all in one piece and a bit of runner could be seen covering them, so if I fell through at least some old carpet would come with me. I headed up without dwelling on that fact.

At the top of the stairs was a bathroom. Mine? I wondered as I walked in. There was no water in the toilet, or the sink when I turned the knob. The mirror was cracked and my reflection revealed me ten times over. Ten eyes, ten noses, ten lips and then some. I had a bathtub, apparently, and no showerhead. Maybe I just loved baths and didn't take regular showers as a kid. It was the old kind, with the lion's feet and spout that came over the side.

After leaving there I went into the giant room that I knew must have been the master bedroom. Completely empty, same story for the bathroom, and once more, no memories whatsoever. Now, time for the other rooms. One of which would be my bedroom.

The first had red paint on the walls, and a faded baseball painted onto the walls. It looked like it would have been a boy's room, and when I opened the closet, sure enough a single black boys roller-skate sat on the floor. I picked it up confused.

"Piper!" I heard Logan call.

"I'm up here! And I'm fii-iiine!" I yelled back.

I heard him creaking around, it would have been impossible not to, no matter where you were in this house, up or down.

Why one earth is there a boy's room in this house? I was caught in a moment for who knows how long. Why didn't anyone ever mention this? How could this place possibly be my house? I put the boot down and left the room. One room left. Mine. I think.

It was pink, typical. On the wall was a teddy bear holding what I think were pink, yellow, and blue balloons. One popped out further than the others and was actually a mirror. It was spotted with giant black dots, thanks to time. Nothing else was in the room, except an old child's mattress. I opened the closet and found nothing, not even a skate.

Tired and overwhelmed, not to mention defeated, I plopped all the way down onto the old mattress. Was it mine? Why wasn't it bigger? Why did the room look like it was for someone much younger? This wasn't my home. It couldn't have been.

Just then something caught my eye. On the woodwork were scratch marks. I leaned to my right and studied them closer. P I S was carved sloppily into the wall – don't laugh, I imagine I got a lot of crap for it as a kid. Next to it were similar scratches, but none of them formed letters.

It was then that something clicked, and suddenly, I could see.

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Please review!!!! No flames, thanks!


	31. Little By Little

All right, so I realized I changed Piper's middle name halfway through the story to Colee, cos I think it's pretty, but I decided to revert back to the original. Sorry about that, it's actually Isabelle.

And once again, thank you guys so much for the reviews! You have no idea how much I appreciate them. Knowing at least one person likes this story keeps me going! Ah, but this month my schedule is CRAZY so updates will be really random. But they will keep coming!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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**It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace. **-Chuck Palahniuk, "Diary"

I don't mean see, as in, all my memories came back. But bits and pieces did. And the PIS on the wall suddenly made sense. My initials…I hid here! This is where my bed was…I hid under here when…the night…

Wait, these weren't my initials. My last name was Kirby, not S. Yet…something clicked and pieces started falling together. It didn't make sense, but the letters P.I.S. were my initials. I don't know how I knew or what it meant, but I just…did.

I jumped up and realized I hadn't been looking closely at all. There, on the wall…it was so faint – the only way you could ever see it was if you knew exactly where and what to look for. There wasn't much of it, it looked scrubbed away, but the pink wallpaper was faded so much…

My jaw dropped and I ran like the wind out of the room and down the stairs.

"Hey!" Logan ran towards the stairs, "Slow down or you'll fall-"

CRACK-WHAM. I was halfway down the stairs when I fell through. "WHEW!" I screamed, catching myself by the arms. Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!!!

"-through." He finished, climbing the stairs slowly, his odds of falling throw higher than mine. I was silent and trying to pull myself through without falling in completely. My underarms, along with my sides, were surely scraped up. He reached down and grabbed my shoulders.

"Hold on." He said and pulled me up and then down the stairs, placing me down once we were at the bottom.

I didn't look at him as I picked up my shirt sides to see the damage. Red scrapes lined my sides and underarms, just as I predicted. I must've been making a face because he leaned in to look closer. Suddenly, I pulled my shirt down, pain forgotten and walked fast – instead of run, lesson learned – towards the kitchen.

I stood in the corner where I imagined the table to be earlier and looked at the walls. Once again, it wasn't there unless you knew exactly where to look or what you were searching for. But there, where the yellow and white flowered wallpaper was missing a few spots was an extremely white area.

Eventually, in came Logan trying to figure out what I was seeing. I ran my fingers over the splatter white spots. "See here? It's whiter than all the rest. There's a bigger one upstairs in my room."

Look at me! Calling it my room, as if I were suddenly so sure. He stood next to me and tried to follow my train of thought. I didn't let him say anything though, cutting him off before he could try, "It's as if something stained the walls, and someone had to bleach it or scrub really hard to clean it off. They didn't bother retouching the paint or redoing the paper. They just scrubbed it off to the best of the ability."

And I watched as what clicked in my head moments earlier clicked in his. There weren't bloodstains on the walls because of course, someone cleaned them up. "This is where…"

"…He killed her. It…it is." I nodded, sure of myself. I couldn't see the scene, but, well, it's hard to explain, I could sense it. " I don't know how I know this for sure. Upstairs, my initials are carved in the wall by an old mattress. My old mattress. The story is that I hid under the bed and my father shot himself in my room. There are paint splotches on the wall up there too. I can't…I can't see it in my head. But I can feel it. Here…" I pulled him by the shoulders and he let me direct him towards the side.

"Mom sat here, she was…what would she be doing? It was late. Very late. Maybe there was a TV in the kitchen." I looked at the wall and there was a jack in the wall for a cable. It made sense. "It was probably before my bedtime and she was…maybe she made me a snack or something. Knowing me, that seems plausible. I was here in my pajamas. Right?" I closed my eyes. I wasn't seeing it, rather, but feeling it.

"And then there…" I pointed towards the doorway. "Someone came in there. We heard the door slam and just assumed it was…him."

"Your dad?" Logan asked, being extra patient. I could tell he wanted to go upstairs and see the initials. Not because he didn't believe me, but seeing always helped.

"I…guess." I shrugged. "That's all I got. I can't seem to…make sense of everything else. I mean, sure, if you draw it out it makes sense, but…I don't really remember it." I was having a slight flashback though. My hair was wet and braided; I was playing with it, laughing at something my mom said. She looked pretty under the harsh kitchen lights. I just…I couldn't really remember her face exactly. It was faded.

"Ok, well, let's work with this." Logan positioned me across from him, holding onto my shoulders. "You and your mother sat here and heard your dad come in. He's mad. He…." He paused, trying to be careful with his words.

"I imagine they argued or something. She probably said something like 'go to your room, Piper.' And I obeyed because I was scared. And then I heard it, I think. I heard…" And then I recalled I did hear something ridiculously loud. Shaking my head, I continued, "I heard him coming up the stairs and I was still scared so I hid under my bed. But he didn't come in. Things were quiet…too quiet. For too long. I thought it was over but I was scared and so I began scratching at the wall. I carved my initials in and…but they're not my initials. I mean, they are but…never mind - I started to carved something else in…I used the end of an old wire hanger. I remember that! And then the bedroom door opened. It opened and…there was a weight on the bed. I held my breath…"

Silence. In my head and where we were. Neither one of us spoke. I shrugged, "And that's it. Next thing I can recall is waking up in the hospital, meeting Asa…you know the rest of the story."

"I do." He nodded. He licked his lips about to speak but for some reason, he didn't.

"Oh! I forgot. I mean that in both senses of the way…Logan, upstairs, there's a boys room! It's painted blue and everything."

"You have a brother?"

I shook my head, "No. Well. I don't think so. No one has ever mentioned one and I have no…well, not that I would have memories of him, but…"

"Yeah, but who else would have lived there, huh?"

"Don't look at me like that! I'm not _lying,_ unless someone has been keeping something huge from me-"

"What else would it be? Hmm? A gremlin lived with you?"

"No! A hobbit!" I shouted. Folding my arms, I turned my back to him, fuming. Enough already! Stomping out of the back door, I went down a set of stairs identical to the ones in the front and walked up to an old swing set. Two sets of swing-less chains hung above the ground, and I twirled them angrily.

"This whole trip was ridiculous! I hope you feel good about yourself and my torn up sides!" I called towards the house. I could see his silhouette in the doorway turn and head another direction. Probably upstairs. I wondered if he'd fall through like I did.

I was frustrated, confused, and angry. Yes, someone had lied to me. But who? My dead parents? How can you be angry with the dead? Well. That was a loaded question. Look what my father did!

But I wasn't angry with him, even now. I couldn't see his face. I couldn't see the gun or the blood. The tragedy wasn't there, in the flesh, in my memories. I knew something terrible happened and now I had more pieces of it, but I couldn't bring myself to resent him just yet. Something wasn't clicking, and had to do with this brother of mine.

I looked at the house, the broken windows, and the dilapidated sections of the roof. How could something so horrible and tragic have happened here, yet be so forgotten? It was someone's world, yet now it was fading. It is almost as if, because I couldn't remember it, no one could.

Then I noticed a storm cellar underneath the right side of the house I hadn't seen before. We didn't get tornados here in Philadelphia but a lot of homes had outdoor entrances to their cellars. I went over to it and used all my anger to pull it open.

The doors were metal, not wooden like I had expected. I also expected to find Dorothy hiding out down here. It was dark, but usually there things had lights that you just pulled on and they came on. A hanging bulb or something. If not, at least I had my cell phone. I propped one of the doors open with the metal wire and once I made sure it was sturdy I journeyed very carefully down the steep steps.

There was a string but when I pulled it, the light bulb didn't even flicker. Well duh, of course a place like this wouldn't have electricity. Some sunlight was coming in, but not much thanks to the lateness of the day and the location of the sun. Squinting and using the phone, I shone it around the room. It was smaller than I thought; I guess I assumed there'd be a huge room down here, thinking it was the basement. It was more like a storage room, the kind they used in the olden days before fridges. I guess some of the older houses still had them.

In an offhand way, I wondered how old this house really was, and how sad it might really be that something so old was going to disappeared completely soon. I walked back and forth along the walls when in the corner a piece of paper caught my eye. I had expected to be let down, an old electric bill or instructions to something. This room was pretty empty filled with empty shelves, whatever had been stored in here before wasn't stored here anymore.

I walked towards the corner and shivered suddenly, bending to pick up the paper. The backlight timer on my phone went out just as the door slammed shut. I let out a yelp and clicked my phone light back on. I used it and climbed back up the stairs to push on the door, but it wouldn't budge. You couldn't lock someone in here – you had to put a weight on the door to keep it shut. Someone was keeping me in here.

"HEY!" I screamed, "HEY! HELP!" I shouted while pounding on the doors. I was trapped. Someone, or something, just locked me in this old cellar, and my phone had no service. When would be the appropriate time to PANIC & FREAK OUT??


	32. Waiting On An Angel

Basically, I've got this story finished. I have about 2 or 3 more chapters to go, writing wise and it'll be done. As for you guys, you've got a few yet, comin' your way. But I've got a sequel thing going on. This won't end in a way that you have to keep reading, but if you like these two, you'll like the next one.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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_Home's face: how it ages when you're away_  
_Spring blooms and you find the love that's true_

The flames and smoke climbed out of every window  
And disappeared with everything that you held dear  
But you shed not a single tear for the things that you didn't need  
Cause you knew you were finally free

- Your heart is an empty room (revised) – Death Cab For Cutie

I was about to scream specifically for Logan, but stopped myself. I didn't want to give him away – maybe whoever did this thought I was alone. Maybe it _was _Logan. My stomach dropped. No way, I wouldn't even go there. Instead, I hit the door a few more times and pushed my weight up the stairs against it, but had no such luck.

Giving the door one last punch, I descended the stairs and sat on the last one. He'd come looking of me, right? And there was that feeling. You know, when you start to think something and the feeling doesn't go away until you completely think it through? I had to think this thing out. Like it or not.

Logan admitted that they knew about Asa before it happened. He admitted that I didn't know everything. What if I wasn't supposed to? What if everything had been a trap? Or a lie? Maybe he's in on something big. Maybe he planned everything to lock me down here. No one would ever find me. I just followed my new boyfriend into the woods alone. Well, wasn't I just the brightest? And wasn't this the plot of something great? Some horror movie. Now the evil plans of Charles Xavier will go on un-thwarted!

Yet, even to me that seemed ridiculous. Logan wasn't trying to kill me. Believe it or not, I had more faith in him than that. He was good to me, he treated me well. Yes, those things I conveniently learned before the trip were unsettling, but I had more faith in him and I needed to. No, someone else was after me. I had to believe that or else all hope would fade.

I remembered what I was doing before the door was shut and walked back over to the corner. I flipped the paper over and held it up to my phone light. It was a faded black and white picture of a paper. At the bottom was blue pen, a name written in cursive next to a faded date – Theodore Russell, 19--. I couldn't decipher it. I studied it; he was a cutie, that was for sure. I didn't go ga-ga over babies, but hey, there was something nice about him. Shaking my head and deciding it could be useful, I put it in my back pocket so I wouldn't have to fold it.

Just when I started thinking it was cold down here, I smelled it. Smoke. The house was on fire.

-0-0-0-0

Ok, do not freak out, self! You've seen and smelled fires before. And besides, you're down here in this concrete bomb shelter, you'll be fine. Won't you? Oh boy. I didn't want to suspect Logan, but this wasn't a good sign for him. He admitted to burning Asa and now this building was burning? And…and..oh boy. Oh boy. Once the building was completely gone, there would be nothing else to see. The shelter would be covered.

But wouldn't someone smell the smoke? Look for it? Wait, what month was it? August? True, someone could easily assume someone was burning leaves a little early and of course, being this far out in the middle of nowhere, no one would think anything of it. And even if that isn't a good excuse, an abandoned building burns – no one is going to investigate it too thoroughly, not with the crime rate in this city.

Oh boy. Oh boy. This was not good. Not good at all. Suddenly, I ran at full speed up the stairs, arms out in front of me, and shot out my powers with everything in me. Well, ok, that was dumb. But I panicked!

Needless to say, I flew backwards and rolled down the stairs. I lay there for a little bit and when I looked up at the doors, there was no damage. Or at least, I assume, because no light was getting in. Hurt and sore, I pulled myself up and grabbed my phone – my completely crushed phone. Shit. I was going to die in a cellar. A mutant on a team for saving people who couldn't even save herself. Oh, this was rich.

I felt weak, partly from the smoke, partly from falling so hard down the concrete stairs – how had I not knocked myself out? – And partly from using my powers. I reached up and felt something wet on my face. I couldn't tell for sure, but I was pretty certain that liquid coming out of my nose was blood. Grrrrrreat. What now?

And then, like an angel from heaven, the doors were torn open. I shielded my eyes with my arm and looked up at the silhouette standing there. Logan came running down the stairs and helped me up. "Can you walk?" He asked.

I nodded and with his arm around my shoulder we ran up the stairs and into the field. I only looked back to see a pile of wood next to the door, the same pile that must have been keeping me down there. Huh. It would have burned eventually…maybe I could have gotten out then. Maybe not. Maybe the fire would have…stop. _Run._

We kept running for a bit and then stopped and turned slowly to face the house. Out of breath, we watched as my childhood home, and perhaps my memories, burned to the ground. "We have to get back to the bike, and quick." Logan grabbed my arm and I didn't stop until I hopped onto the back of the bike, completely drained.

Boy, were we a site when we walked back into the hotel lobby. Some "anniversary", huh?

0-0-0

I showered and put on long black pants and a red tank top I brought, then collapsed onto the bed and napped while Logan got himself cleaned up. We didn't get to talk about everything that had just happened, both of us too tired.

My nap was short and I ended up staring at the photo of this Theodore person. There was certainly something about him, even as a baby, but I didn't know what. If I had a working phone I'd use the Internet to look him up, but there next to the bed was my smashed phone. I sighed and closed my eyes, hurt everywhere. Falling through the stairs was chicken shit compared to everything else.

Hands were rubbing my shoulders, and I opened my eyes. Logan was standing behind the couch, trying to comfort me. It was working, and he bent down and kissed my cheek before separating from me and walking around so he could sit next to me.

"I went upstairs to see what you were talking about. I smelled the fire, but of course it just so happened to start at the base of the stairs. Old things, rotten things, burn pretty fast. I ended up jumping, but I was hurt and had to wait to heal. When I got outside I could smell you, despite the fire, and I found the boards locking you in. Whoever started the fire wasn't a real thinker."

"So you didn't see them?" I asked, laying the photograph on the coffee table.

"No," he shook his head, "but there was something familiar. Whoever started the fire at the house started the fire we walked by earlier. The scent…I don't know what it was, but it was the same. Someone doesn't want you snooping around."

"Or alive." I leaned back and allowed him to put his arm around my shoulder and pull me close.

"But you are." He kissed my cheek again. "Who is that?"

"Theodore Russell. As a baby. No clue, but I found it in the cellar so I grabbed it."

"Wait." He got a funny look on his face. "Any other photos down there?"

"Nothing, completely cleaned out."

"Piper." He turned to me suddenly, "When you moved in with Asa, what happened to all of your old stuff? Photo albums and clothes, everything?"

I shrugged, "I don't know, what do they normally do?…Wait a second. You think there were photos albums down there, don't you?"

"I think the first fire we walked by, that was someone burning the albums. Meaning someone knew we were coming."

He jumped up then, "Pack up, we have to get back to New York. If someone knew we were coming, they probably know where we are now."

I barely had time to register what he was saying as I threw my stuff in a bag, same as him.

We headed towards the door, but I stopped him. He wasn't the one who planned all of this; he wasn't out to get me at all. I felt so guilty suddenly, but also, so full of faith. "Logan!" I called, and I kissed him there in the doorway. "OK." I said, pulling apart, "I'm ready."

He gave me a lopsided grin, kissed me back quick, and we walked to the elevators. Luckily, you could check out on the television at this place, so we were all taken care of. Finally, something works out for us!

0-0-

We stopped at a diner on the way back where Logan made a phone call to the school mentioning that we'd be back and we had a lot of news. I spent this time ordering club sandwiches, tuna salad, and pie from the menu. Dolly waited on me with a smile and supplied me with hot tea and sugar.

When the food came, Logan walked back in. "Oh, which ones for me?" He asked, settling down.

"Uhm. The tea?" I tried.

He shook his head, "Your eating habits amaze me." He didn't need a menu, he said all diners were the same, which was true, but still, you have to know if your tuna comes with tomatoes or not so you can request they get removed. Yuck, tomatoes.

Gah, this morning I was about to be burned alive, and now I was worrying about tomatoes on my tuna salad? I guess that is life for you.

He ordered a Pepsi and a burger with fries. We chowed down in comfortable silence, and it was going to be up there on my list of great and memorable dates. I mean, diner food rocks, and we were both silent and comfortable. Do you know how rare that is? Well, for me, anyways?

"It's going to be ok." Was the only thing said all meal. It was Logan, as we walked out the door. I looked at him, surprised, and nodded as I got back on the bike.

It had started to rain, as we got closer to our, uhm, home. I say uhm because hadn't really gotten that far, mentally, but right now it sure sounded about right. The rain was starting to burn, and I wasn't even driving. Luckily, we were almost there.

When we pulled up to the school I didn't even try to put my stuff back in my room. We both marched into the professor's office and everyone started filing in, thanks to Chuck's super ability to see the future. And Logan's phone call.

"You two look like you've had a heck of a day." Xavier said. For some reason, I smiled as Logan joined me on the couch next to Storm. Scott & Jean filed in next, along with Hank, Rogue and Bobby. I didn't question the fact that they were there. My curiosity was certainly going to be the death of me.

I let out a long sigh, turned to Xavier, and said, "You have no idea."

----0

Hope you liked it!

Please, review!


	33. Wake Up Exhausted

See, this is wherein the problem lies…I updated and no one reviewed. I don't know what to take that as…just one update, guys…it takes 5 seconds…please?? I don't think you realize how much I appreciate them and how much they keep me going...

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_**It's pathetic, how we can't live with the things we can't understand. How if we can't explain something we'll just deny it**__**.**_-Chuck Palahniuk

We spent the night telling the story of our visit, and explaining things. We tossed around ideas and possible theories. We got nowhere. I think part of it was because I was so drained, but I think the other part was just that I felt like I had hit a wall. Where do I go from here? I never asked to go back and visit, that wasn't my idea. But now that I have done it, all I can think about is solving this.

So when it was all said and done, I still couldn't get to sleep. I must have tossed and turned for hours. Not to mention the fact that it was already late, so who knows what time I got to sleep? Regardless, my alarm went off in time for me to wake up to teach my first class of my life. I was in no way prepared.

I must have resembled some sort of monster, the way I staggered half dead to class. There were about 20 students, which seemed lucky. I don't know what I had expected, but I didn't know what they expected either, so I could only hope it wasn't much. Let's face it; I wasn't up for dazzling anyone today.

When I woke up, I showered, threw on my brown dress, brown Sperry's and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Semi-professional, I figured. The dress was a square cut, and it went a little above the knee. Normally, I would have planned my outfit in advance, but I also would have made a class plan as well. Instead, there I stood in front of my class, with nothing planned. Uh…what now?

"Ok, so I know some of you and I'm sure you know of me, at least, my name because it's on your schedules. You can all call me Miss Kirby." I just wanted to be official, plus it had a nice 1800s ring to it. "Why don't we do one of those extremely painful ice breaking games? You might know each other, but I have no clue who some of you are. We'll go around and you give me your name and something interesting or boring about yourself."

These games were my nightmare. I always hated them. Especially in college, because, c'mon, we're _how_ old? And you're making us play these stupid games? No one is going to remember me from this game! But I was a loss for what we should do, so it was all I could think of at the moment.

"Why don't you start, uh…" I looked at a brunette in the front row.

"Lily. Ok." She nodded and started the game. Good. Now, what to do with the rest of the class? Suddenly, it struck me that Logan didn't wake me up for training. Huh. Well, hopefully he was giving me the day off. That, or he planned on getting me for it later. Whooppeeee.

By the time the game was over, 10 minutes had gone by and that was it. "Ok, now, I figured for this class, we'll start if off differently. Since it's my first time teaching this class and your first time learning it, why don't we work together? How do you guys learn the best? What's your ideal learning environment?" This could potentially be a terrible idea. Most kids would have a field day with this information. They'd take all kinds of crazy advantage of me. But, at the same time, let it be said that I'm pretty immature myself so I'm not really afraid. Besides, with only 20 kids, they shouldn't be too crazy. "I thought that, since its still nice out, we could have class outside. I know some of you are used to this, and I figured we should take advantage of the warm weather while it's still here. I also found some movies for down the line, teaching movies. I've made a list and I am just waiting for Miss Grey's approval of them. But what are your ideas?"

I turned to the board where a dry erase marker was sitting and uncapped it. I wrote Outside Class and Movies down in big letters. I turned to answer a few students when I heard the door open. Logan was standing there with his hands in his jean pockets. He was back to his school attire, long pants and button down shirt over a wife beater.

"Miss….uh…" He looked at the board for my name, because typically new teachers did that. I thought I'd give my students the benefit of the doubt and assume they could remember my name. Logan just guessed, and…got it wrong, somehow. "Miss Piper. Can we have a moment?"

I raised my eyebrows at him. What could be so important? With an involuntary yawn, I nodded and turned back to my class, "Talk amongst yourselves and come up with some great ideas – we have to make them last all year."

With that, I turned and followed Logan outside of the room. "What's up?"

"Look, we have to talk. Is it alright if Hank takes over for today?"

"Hank?" I asked, surprised, "Well, I'd think he has more important things to do. And it_ is_ my first day."

"Yeah, but this is pretty important. I wouldn't ask if it weren't. I'm onto something, Piper."

"That's Miss Kirby, buddy. And…ok, I guess."

He smiled, "Great. I'll go get him." He quickly kissed me on the cheek before running off. Ah, so that's why he wore long sleeves, he had to hide things up them today.

I went back into my classroom and they quieted down, "Alright, you guys got lucky. is going to fill in for me for today. Your homework is to come up with 5 ideas for unique learning. If I like them, you'll benefit from it. I promise. Good luck." I picked up my purse and turned to leave just as Hank walked in. We smiled at each other and I left my class to him.

Logan nodded down the hall and I followed him outside. He stood by the fountain and I sat on a stone bench, waiting for him to speak. The windows were open to some rooms, all filled with students on the first day back after summer, a sad day. I assumed no one could hear us or else Logan would have walked further away.

"Well, what are you thinking?" I asked finally, Crossing my legs and leaning back to sun myself.

"I had a thought. About your brother."

"Logan. I don't have a brother." I said this mainly to the sun. Yes, there was a good chance that I was in denial here.

"Be a little open minded here, alright Kirby?"

"Don't call me that."

"Why?" He asked, confused.

"Because, for all you know, it's not my last name. I mean, don't you find this all a little crazy and suspicious? All of it? An old abandoned house in the middle of the woods. In _Philadelphia. "_

"What about your initials carved in the wall? And the fact that the police records indicate that it was where you were found. Where you were raised. It was your home, like it or not, Piper."

"Fine. I can be open to that. But then, why didn't the police records mention a brother? Someone is lying, somewhere. A big lie, too."

I sat up suddenly, "That was your train of thought, wasn't it? This person, brother or not, was living with us and was forgotten. I can imagine they'd be pretty pissed about that….so they'd want to burn the house. And maybe the only surviving person who lived there. And any memories they might have. So…" I leaned forward, "they weren't planning on killing me. Why burn the albums and then go back and burn me?"

"So maybe it was…convenient. You were in the right place at the right time?"

I sighed, "Yep. Right."

"I was thinking that, but bigger."

"How so?" It was my turn to be confused.

"Think…Asa."

I shook my head, still confused.

"Who would know if someone else was in that house? Who found you that night? Someone was a witness to what happened. Maybe they ran away that night because they were scared or maybe they played a part in this, I don't know, but when the police report was filed, their name was missing. Maybe they're mad as hell that they got left out and ignored. Or maybe they want to tie up lose ends. And where would they start?"

It suddenly all made sense. "With the person who actually remembers everything. So they murdered Asa. And I wasn't a threat because of my lack of memory, but there I was, snooping around. It wasn't a big deal if I died yesterday – only that I got the message."

Silence, once again. That silence that falls on us when we're both thinking and realizing the same, usually terrible, thing.

"Shit." Logan muttered.

"No way. Logan, I was there when Asa died – it was a random bum that killed her. She wasn't murdered in any dramatic way, she…he was a homeless guy who didn't like his situation and so he did something about it."

"Do a lot of people get killed by homeless guys?" He wasn't mocking me, he was being serious.

I thought it over. True, it wasn't something you usually heard about happening a lot. Homeless people usually just begged for money. Sure, they got in scrapes, but usually with each other. And yes, they'll yell at you and if they have a weapon they'll threaten you. But you have to be at the wrong place for that. A dark alley in the middle of the night. And even then, the guns aren't usually loaded. Why waste the money and risk it firing? "I don't…know." I groaned, "Just because I've seen poor people doesn't mean I know them inside out!"

"Wait. Logan, there is something…I forgot. When I woke up in the hospital, they did show me pictures. They had photos of my family. My mom and dad and even the house…" I thought back, "I mean, come to think of it, it kind of looks similar. I only saw the photos in the hospital; I wasn't allowed to keep them really. But…someone had access to those photos. Meaning there are probably more floating around somewhere!"

And then something else I had conveniently forgotten came into play. The memory of the boy I told to go to hell…the faded one I couldn't quite recall.

"Piper…" He growled, but not at me. I looked up suddenly and saw him staring at someone coming around the side of the house.

"It's Scott." I pointed out, as in, _chill out._

"I know who it is." He marched off towards him.

What now? I thought to myself, following close behind.

"Piper, Logan." Scott nodded at us both. Dee was following close behind and I knelt down to him when I spotted him. His tail wagged and he licked my face making me recall every single reason why I loved dogs so much.

"Scott, what the hell happened?" Logan demanded.

Ok, hold up. Last night we saw Scott at our little pow-wow and there wasn't any more hostility than usual between the two. So what was going on?

"Woah – Logan, let's talk about this." Scott put up his hands and suddenly I got concerned with the situation.

"How about I grill you now and talk later?"

"Logan!" I shouted, jumping up between the two of them. Uh…that was just plain stupid of me.

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	34. This Land Is Your Land

a quicky.

Disclaimer: I own nothing

0—0

_Driving in your car;  
oh please don't take me home,  
cos I haven't got one.  
Its their home, not mine,  
I'm not welcome anymore._

::The Smiths, There is a light that never goes out

"Really, Logan?" I shouted, slamming the door behind me_, "Really?"_

He turned towards me and then back, quick as a flash, "You weren't there! It's a…"

"Oh, bullshit, Logan! Why is your nose in their business anyways?" I crossed my arms.

"Let me reiterate. _You._ Weren't. _There."_ He put his hands on his hips but still wasn't facing me.

"Fine! I don't want to be _here _either, then!" I turned to stomp out of his room, "And don't come find me until you want to fill me in on your version of the truth!"

With that, I re-slammed the door, this time on my way out.

Let's rewind, shall we? I mean last thing you remember is Logan and Scott facing off with each other. Ah, so, back to this afternoon…

As I jumped between the two of them, stupidly, I was shoved out of the way by Scott.

"Don't touch her!" Logan growled.

"I was getting her out of _your_ way." Scott was trying to be calm, but Logan was on fire.

"I wasn't about to hurt _her_, bub." Logan had lost his temper, just like that, and the claws on his left hand shot out and were in Scotts face.

"Logan, do not!" I demanded, as in, do not hurt him!

"Piper, you should-"

"Don't tell her what to do!" Logan said again.

"Would you stop it? I'm right here, and if I leave you'll skewer Scott!"

"I can take care of my-woah!" Logan suddenly got too close for Scotts comfort.

I rolled my eyes, "Yep, good job there, buddy. Now what's going on? Logan, put those away before you poke an eye out!"

He froze and seemed to re-think everything. After take a few deep breaths, the claws went back in. "Piper, give us a moment, will you?"

"Just tell her why you're so mad, Logan. Unless you realize you're being ridiculous."

"Nah," He spat, "I just don't want to embarrass you when I do this-" And then…he punched Scott across the face.

Scott fell back with the shear force of it all and quickly I knelt by his side. This wasn't about choosing a side – Scott had a bloody nose!

"What is this about?" I asked, alarmed, looking between the two men.

"Watch where you're handing your sympathy, Kirby – Scooter here tried to get you kicked out of the school."

I turned back to Logan and studied his eyes, realizing I saw pure honesty; I slowly turned back to Scott. "Is this true?"

"Piper, c'mon…" He groaned, but that wasn't an answer.

"Scott." I glared at him.

"He's twisting my words…" Scott coughed and sat up, "Jesus."

"Don't you swear, ." I demanded.

He wiped at the blood coming out of his nose and finished, "Logan came to Jean and tried to get her to call off the wedding."

I was about to get whiplash, I turned back to Logan so fast, and sighed, "Ok, what?"

Scott tried to stand up and I helped him, we were both staring at Logan now who had an impassive look on his face. "I did, but with reason. Reason I can't…" He leaned forward, trying to talk with his hands, "disclose." He nodded as if that was supposed to be enough.

"I need ice. Asshole." Scott swore and marched off to the kitchen.

Logan looked at me and realized that answer wasn't going to do. That's when he stomped off to his room and I followed, only to be kicked out without any answers.

A wave of fatigue hit me then and I recalled how little sleep I got the night before. Setting my alarm for noon, I decided to take a power nap. When the alarm went off with BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP, I remembered that I didn't have a cell phone anymore, and missed my Bones by Little Big Town alarm. Those opening notes just woke me right up. I went for a walk around the school, trying to calm down, yet feeling pretty refreshed. Eventually I settled on sitting by the pool and working on lesson plans. Class was still in session and so I was alone for the rest of the day.

The course I was teaching was creative writing, and around two Hank came out and handed me papers with students' ideas on them. He said everyone behaved marvelously, something you'd only hear from him. I nodded my thanks and started reading through them.

As I was sitting there a shadow fell across me and I looked up to see Jean. She had a huge smile on her face and was holding two pina coladas. I smiled up at her and she took that as the ok to join me. Just as she sat down Rogue, Bobby, and Kitty came running towards the pool area, anxious to jump in after a long first day of classes.

It was a nice day, and I felt kind of like the students, bummed out that my long lazy days were gone. But then again, they hadn't really been too lazy lately, even before our weekend trip, what with training and danger room sessions.

"So, you officially have Scotts blood on your hands. Nose blood."

"Gross, Jean. What, did you make me that drink just so I'd stare at it? Because really, I'm about to lose my appetite."

She laughed, "There's a little rum in it, but not much, it is the first day of school, so shh."

"That's the point, it's the first day of school – why only a little?"

She laughed, "So Logan set you straight on everything, I'm guessing?"

"Really? You think so? Did you miss it when he rode off this afternoon? I didn't, and I was napping."

"How do you know that wasn't Scott?"

I looked at her, "Ok, was it?"

She paused to take a sip, "Scott was teaching…fine, you win. I guess I won't pretend I came down here to have a girl chat with you."

"Thanks, it's appreciated."

"Right, well…Logan came to Scott last night and told him to reconsider the wedding. He said the time wasn't right to be worrying about getting married. He asked him to put the plans on pause."

"Last night? What, at the crack of ass? Sorry about the language, but we got back so late…"

"I know, right? But he did. Scott told Logan that he'd consider it but wouldn't be willing to put his happiness on hold for…you."

"He called me something else, though, didn't he?" I recalled Scott's calm demeanor when he saw Logan this afternoon. He wasn't expecting a fight, so he couldn't have said something too bad.

"He said for his temporary girlfriend. According to Scott, he told Logan that once the mystery was solved about your past you'd be out of here. Scott didn't know he upset Logan so much, which is stupid, but apparently that's how Scott really feels."

I twirled my straw in the drink, not saying anything.

"I guess Scott wasn't so mad about being asked to put the wedding on hold – he's stubborn like that. I wasn't either; I think it's fine that Logan asked. He's got a point, this is important and if the wedding needs to be put on hold so be it – but it's months away anyways, so it's not like it'll really affect anything. The thing is…Scott didn't feel he was out of line in any way, he's…"

"Dumb." I said, and that was being polite.

Jean licked her lips, just as Pyro came running in and did a cannonball. They loved splashing us. This scene was total déjà vu.

"Jean, do you feel that way too?"

Silence, she took and extra long sip of her drink.

"Jean, does everyone feel that way?"

How had I gotten this reputation?

"Jean," I said, getting impatient, "answer me!"

"Look, I don't…agree with Scott. And I really don't agree with him telling Logan that. I understand his anger. Not enough to punch him. But I get it. It's just…"

Tick-tock-tick-tock.

"Look, why would you stick around? It's not like your passion is the team, you avoided joining it for as long as possible, so it's not a reason to stay. The teaching is a total side job. And, well, you just started dating Logan, so would you really stay for him?"

"And what, leave this place for my new non-existent home? Even if I was gonna leave, I have nowhere to go." I was getting really upset, "I'm not hurt because you think I have no reason to stay, I'm hurt because you're making it seem like no one wants me here. I like thinking of this place as my new home. First Logan tells me I'll end up leaving and now apparently everyone else thinks it. _I feel pretty damn welcome here."_

-0-0

Alright, it's all vital, no matter how petty it may seem. Hope you liked – things are falling into place!

Please review! Thanks so much!


	35. No Jokes, Fact

Disclaimer: I own nothing

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_**For the first time  
You understand now  
Why you came this way  
'Cause the truth you might be runnin' from  
Is so small.   
But it's as big as the promise   
The promise of a comin' day.**_

**_::Southern Cross::_**

I wanted to pour my drink on her, or run away. But I just sat there, kind of frozen.

"Oh, Piper, it's not like that at all…but you've been through so much. And…"

And? This was going nowhere good.

"And well, we_ do _love having you here – would we have thrown you that birthday party if we didn't? And Lord knows, you make Logan happy, which means he's nicer, which means everyone else is happy. We just…don't want to get attached if you're just going to leave."

"Attached? Like I'm some sort of puppy?"

"This isn't going well, is it?"

Things weren't going my way. I felt like moping. I felt like diving headfirst into the pool. I couldn't tell if things had gone downhill or uphill since Asa's death. It was impossible to say, because last time I lost someone dear to me, I lost all my memories. At this rate, it was lucky that didn't happen every time.

"Don't leave, Piper." I turned to see Storm, looking down at me sadly. She came around and sat on the chair next to me. "Jean isn't good at speaking for the group, but we do love having you here. It's almost ridiculous that we have to have this talk. I think Scott is an idiot- " she threw a glare at Jean, "And I feel like boycotting this entire wedding, _but_…" she paused dramatically, "it's in May and I don't think I could live in a house with these two for so long with all that anger. I know, personally, that I'm so much happier with you here. The kids like you and the professor thinks you're a great asset – both for the team, the school, and all of us here."

"Well, I'm eating my words. What I meant," Jean tried, "Was exactly what she said. But just…not with those words. Sorry." She shrugged. I think Jean secretly hated me, but I couldn't figure out why. "I really am." She did seem genuinely sorry though, so I just nodded.

Jean stood up then, thanked Storm and passed her her drink before walking off.

"What just happened?" I asked, confused as hell.

"Here's a quick recap – Logan liked Jean, Jean sort of liked Logan but not enough to leave Scott for him. So, she still cares about him. You're here and Logan cares about you, so she's jealous and she's also seeing how life with him could have been, per your example. She's also terrified you two will break up and Logan will get hurt. And…well, that's kind of her nightmare, because it wouldn't be her fault and she couldn't make it right. Being defenseless in that situation is the worst possible scenario, in her eyes."

"So, she's scared I'll hurt him and she'll be left to deal with it, only…"

"Only Logan isn't going to go to her for help, if that were to happen. So she'd have to sit back and watch and I guess she feels like she already did that. I think if Logan weren't involved, she probably would be a lot nicer to you – she does like you. But she has to get over this on her own."

"Ah…you know, this is the first thing that's making sense in a long, long time."

Storm laughed, "I know you don't remember, but if you had any brothers or sisters, you'd totally be able to compare this to sibling rivalries. All these childish squabbles."

"Oh yeah," I teased, "Now that you date outside of the school, you're just so above it all."

She laughed and something clicked into place in my head, like things had been lately.

"_If you had any brothers or sisters,…"_ she said. That memory! The one of me and the boy fighting, I had told him to go to hell…

No. No. No. No. NO! This was not possible. Well, I guess it was. But that would mean a lie. And I just…didn't want to believe it. But it was totally plausible, and if it were true, I might have all my answers.

"Earth to Piper…hey." Storm waved a hand in my face.

"Sorry, ah, what?" I took a big gulp of my drink, wishing a lot more rum had gone into it.

"I was saying, I think you should meet Tony soon. We could go on a double…date."

"Hmm…much hesitation is sensed."

"Well, for one thing, you and Logan are fighting. So maybe just you should come."

"Hey, we're just fighting, it isn't necessarily permanent." It was just a fight, if only she knew how many of them we really had! "You know what, I think you're scared that Logan is going to be a really harsh critic of you dating someone who isn't a mutant."

She gave me a sad smile, "You know him well, huh? Or should I say, you know me well? You're right. " Shrugging, she took another sip. "So…"

"I think…you should let me talk to him about it. Once things cool down with us. I'll tell him about Tony being normal, and if he can't handle it I won't let him come to dinner."

"Really?"

"He's not going to come if no one wants him there."

"Thank you so much, Piper!" She leaned over and hugged me, "And I mean what I say, when I tell you how happy we are that you're here."

---------0

I made myself a fancy dinner of an everything bagel with salmon cream cheese, Pepsi, day old pizza, and easy mac. I wasn't a healthy eater when left to my own means, but I was starved after today's drama. Sitting outside on the porch with a week old issue of People, I caught up on the issues of the world.

In Florida, a man's death, whose body was found in his bathroom, was ruled as a suicide instead of a murder like they originally thought. The wife's body was never found but they lived near a swamp and some clues indicated that maybe the husband killed her and now the gators were feasting on her. The investigation was ongoing. I guess they were hoping to find bones in that water. Ugh, keep me out of that! Last thing I wanted was to be bit by a gator.

I skipped over the fine details, assuming it had nothing to do with the X-men, and if it did the facts wouldn't come from a tabloid, and read about this year's upcoming blockbusters. Oh, they were coming out with a Sherlock Holmes movie! Ah, but not until December. Maybe I could get Logan to take me, God willing we were still together by then. Wow. That seemed ridiculously far away.

The sun was still out and warming me, and I was completely alone for the first time all day. Storm went out with Tony, telling everyone the absolute truth for the first time – that she was going on a date. Scott & Jean went on a little field trip with some students to CiCi's all you can eat pizza buffet. I wasn't one to pass up on places that had buffet in the title but I just didn't want to go sit with a crowd and still be aware that I was by myself. I wasn't about to hang out with Jean and Scott, and Rogue was the nicest of the students but she wasn't going either. So yeah, I passed.

It wasn't so bad, being alone either. I had time to dissect every little thing going on in my life. OH WAIT, JUST KIDDING, BEING ALONE RIGHT NOW SUCKED. Sorry for thinking so loudly, it couldn't be avoided. But boy, did things pile up if you let them. And so, taking advantaged of being alone…I made myself a drink. Rum and Coke. Ahh, down the hatch with you.

Feeling loosey goosey, I relaxed and stretched out on a stone bench after my delicious meal. Man, would I miss summer.

Life is just sadder without the sun around.

------0

Yes, I did pass out. I had only one drink. I had, admittedly, made it a double, but still. I was surprised at myself – guess I wasn't a crazy party kid anymore. Anyways, someone was nudging me and I did not want to wake up. I could sense that the sun had gone down, but my muscles just didn't want me to. I groaned and swatted the person away.

The next thing I knew, I was being carried off by someone. I should have been concerned that Mr. Shadow was pulling me into the bushes to rape me, but 1. I was a mutant. Albeit a tipsy mutant, but a mutant all the same. And 2. I knew this smell, this smell of leather and cigars, and thus I felt safe.

When I was laid on my bed, I became aware that I had been clutching Logan's shirt while he carried me. To make some sort of point, I didn't let go of it.

"Are you drunk?" He whispered, calmly.

I nodded, and said "Only slightly. I made doubles." I held up two fingers but didn't open my eyes yet. I didn't want this feeling to disappear; I didn't want to see if he was disappointed in me or something. I felt a weight press on the bed and as I let go of his shirt I felt his hands push some hair behind my ears.

A bigger shift in the weight this time as he leaned down and kissed me, first on the forehead and then on the lips, lightly.

"Mmm…Logan…" I whispered, "Lay with me?" I was being really lazy. I shouldn't sleep in my "school clothes" and I shouldn't drink on weeknights, knowing I have to wake up early for training and teaching. (What are the odds that he'd give me two days off in a row?)

"Alrigh'." He shifted again and I could feel his eyes looking at me. With my eyes still closed I imagined him kicking off his boots, laying on his side, and propping his head up on one hand. Blindly, I reached for him and took one of his hands. "I'm sorry about earlier. I just want everyone to take this seriously."

"S'ok." I mumbled, "I know you were. Thank you. I'm sorry I helped Scott with his bloody nose." I was quiet then, but after a beat I said, "It's almost like it's not his fault, he really _is_ that dumb."

He squeezed my hand and I chuckled. I was mentally willing him to lie all the way down so I could crawl to him and lay my head on his chest. Instead, he whispered my name.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Only 9:30."

"Not too shabby…I have an interesting feeling about tomorrow."

"Me too." He said.

Comfortable silence greeted us. "Piper."

"Logan." He replied, closer to me than I thought.

And then I realized I had something to tell him.

"Hmm…" I started to say, but instead I yawned, and he cut me off,

"I love you."

"I think my brother killed Asa."

---0

WHAT? Yeah. I am ending the chapter there. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS!! I love them with all of my heart!

Please review…thank you so much!


	36. Somethin' Grand

You guys and your reviews make me so happy. I'm glad you're liking this story so much! I appreciate it so much! Anyways, onward....

Disclaimer: I own nothing

**----0 **

there are two tragedies in life  
one is to lose your heart's desire  
the other is to gain it

( George Bernard Shaw )

Was I dreaming? I didn't want to wake up if I was, but I opened my eyes then and stared at Logan. Ignoring my revelation, I narrowed my eyes at him. "What? You…"

"I love you, Piper. Honestly." He ran a hand along my face. "I always swore I wouldn't dive into this sort of thing, that I'd wait months before I ever said that to someone. But you weren't expected, and I feel like I've known you for months. And I…I love it. I love you."

Sitting up on my side, I leaned closer to him, "You know what you're getting into when you tell me that, right? It's a whole lot of crazy-"

"What were you saying about your brother?" He cut me off. He didn't want my reasons why he shouldn't love me.

"I was saying…" I leaned closer to him and took the hand that was on my face, "That I love you too. I don't really think I've ever been in love before, and I've never felt this way before. But I like it. It's scary, but it's wonderful. How much I care about you and how much I actually…need you in my life. What would I do without you?"

I wasn't a mushy person. This wasn't planned. But there it was, gushing out of me like a floodgate that had just been opened up. He inhaled and rubbed my hand.

"Yeah, that's how I feel."

We kissed then, as you're supposed to once you tell someone you love him or her. But don't tell me that this is a road that's been gone down before, because this time, it was all mine. And I was in love with this man, the one who cared for some reason, when there wasn't any need for him to. When I was all alone, he was there. We deserved this moment. And so we took it.

------0

My alarm went off again, the same annoying BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP, rapidly going off. I didn't want to move and involuntarily hit the off button. Ok, I knew I was doing it, but I shouldn't have.

Slowly I rolled over, trying to tell myself I could nap after I taught my morning class. When I moved I hit something hard and realized Logan was still here. I tried not to wake him as I got up to get dressed.

Now, here was the debate – do I risk assuming I'm lucky and dress for teaching and have to change if he wakes up and says we have training, or wake him and ask the question anyways?

I stood in front of my closest debating for so long that Logan woke up on his own to answer my question. "Danger room session today." He reminded me, getting up. Great, it was 6:30. So instead of showering before class, now I'd have to train, jump in the shower, and then teach. This morning was going to get dragged out.

"Wait. Can we talk about last night?" Part stall, part_ hello-important_. I turned from the closet and watched him pull his wife beater on. "The whole, my-brother-killed-Asa part?"

I wasn't feeling hung over at all, which was a plus, but part of me wondered if he'd blame my reaction last night to the alcohol. I didn't. It just made it easier to say, but I was by no means drunk.

He sighed and straightened himself out, "So you think you have a brother now? I thought you still had doubts."

"I did. But it fits so perfectly. Who would have known I had a brother? Asa. So she would make the perfect target."

"Right. But even if this were true, why wait all these years?"

"Why anything, Logan? Why does anyone kill when they do?" I turned back to my closest, sifted through my clothes, and then turned back. "I want to talk to Dioxin."

"That kid from the mission? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He did slap me for no reason. And I swear, Logan, when I looked at him…"

"You recognized him?" He asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.

"No…but he recognized me. And that makes sense – I don't recognize anyone!"

"Piper, the kid was scared and all he knew was that you were going to take him away. Of course he tried to fight back."

"Can you have a little faith in me, please?" I folded my arms across my chest and did everything in my power to not stamp my foot, making me a complete 6 year old.

He stood up and rubbed my arms, "I do have faith in you, and I'm going to help you with this, but someone has to be the voice of reason."

"Oh yeah, you?"

"No, not always me. But in this scenario – yes. We're not about to fly to Florida because some boy slapped you."

"I…what if I'm right and everything could be solved by going to him?"

"What's everything? I know getting your memory back is important, I agree with all of that. But now we're onto a totally different thing here, saying Asa was murdered? You were there. Did you honestly think that is what happened?"

I clenched my eyes shut, remembering suddenly more than I wanted to. Her throat, slit, the blood pooled around her body. I saw the killer, yes, but I didn't see the act. Anything could have happened. Or maybe I was just going insane with want. Wanting to solve all of this, wanting closure. I'd rather solve this mystery than deal with my memories. Hell, maybe I'd get lucky and they'd actually be connected.

When I opened my eyes again I looked at Logan directly in the eyes and said, "Yes."

"That's all I needed to hear. We'll look into all of this, ok? I'm not saying give up. But I am saying we should look into Dioxins story a little more before we fly south, ok?"

I nodded, thinking that was fair and kicked him out so I could dress for training.

-----0

It was an interesting rest of the week. Interesting as in, I was a crap creative writing teacher. Most of the time, we just had discussions, which was fine and dandy but I felt like it wasn't really challenging enough. So, on Friday I assigned a three-page paper to them. 'If I could bring anyone fictional to life, it would be…' and why, due on Tuesday.

Liking this theme, I spent the rest of the day thinking of similar topics, and journal assignments for them. Other than that though, training was a pain in the butt – literally, leaving me sore every day, whether it was one on one with Logan or danger room sessions with everyone else. As far as the memory and Asa drama went, things were quiet. Logan asked Xavier for information on Dioxin but he said he had to contact his school for his history and that they'd fax it over once all the forms were filled out. Everything was a process. But yeah, besides that, nothing too crazy happened.

I got a new phone though! That was exciting. I got a Palm Pre, which was a decent phone. And so I spent my free time relaxing and playing with that. Logan and I had taken to going on walks in the afternoon to the lake because we could be alone there without the kids interrupting us.

Then, before we new it, Friday night was upon us and it was time to meet Tony. I picked out a black dress along with these fuzzy red high heels, semi-hard to walk it, but really tied together the outfit. Made it POP, y'know? (Not FEATHERY, ok? Fuzzy. Like. Fake velvet? Hmm…)

Storm told us we were going some fancy place – Tony's treat – and to dress nice. Logan needed help, hating fancy dinners. I helped him pick out a black button down and black pants; very Johnny Cash-ish. It worked for him.

Just as I was finishing putting my gold hoops in my ears, Logan knocked on the door. "Well, don't you just look dashing?" I said, kissing him on the cheek. He walked in and sat on my bed.

"Wow." I saw his reflection in the mirror, looking at me, "I've never seen you dressed up before. You look beautiful, darlin'."

I blushed and turned to face him, "Thanks." We stared at each other a bit more, and I grabbed my phone to put in the gold beaded purse I had. "So, you know how you're gonna behave right? As in, you're gonna behave, right?"

"Nag, nag, nag, nag, nag." He teased, "If you weren't so good looking, we'd have serious issues."

I just laughed, "Logan, you know what I mean. You have to treat Tony like…like an equal." I shrugged, not sure I even believed that.

"I get what you mean, and I'll do my best. Putting all assumptions and prejudgments aside." Ah, he was repeating my exact words to him from our conversation earlier.

"Yeah, yeah, mock me all you want, but we both know how you feel about Storm dating a nonmutant."

'Yes, and we'll keep it between us." He looked at his watch, the one he only wore sometimes, "Let's get this over with. We're already late…hmm…is it eyeliner or the jewelry that I should blame?"

I rolled my eyes and pulled him by the arm, "Let's just go!"

----0

The restaurant was swanky, that was for sure. There was a man playing piano and when we walked in two guys in suits opened the doors for us. I didn't have a problem with fancy meals, but usually they were boring. I was hoping tonight would be different, but I doubted it. What would we talk about? Basically, it was going to be boring.

Before the Maître'd could ask us if we had reservations Storm spotted us from the bar. She waved and whispered something to the man sitting next to her. They both stood up as we walked towards them. The piano player had just started the beginning of 'Moon River' and suddenly I felt like the night would be, at least musically, entertaining of sorts.

Storm was wearing a tight red wrap-around dress with back gladiator shoes and her hair was flipped out to the side. Then her date, this Tony guy, came into view. He was tall, blonde, and had the most remarkable blue/green eyes. I didn't really know what to think of him – just that he didn't seem Storms type. I pictured her with a brunette who was her size. This wasn't the Tony I was seeing.

"Tony, these are my friends. This is Logan," They shook hands, both smiling politely – Tony's seeming more genuine than Logan's, just saying. "And this is Piper."

Tony turned to me and the smile slipped from his face. "Piper?" He asked, startled.

Uhm, did I have something on my face? "It's nice to meet you." I extended my hand, hoping to make the moment pass unnoticed.

It did just the opposite.

"It can't be." He whispered. He stared at me a little long, the moment going unnoticed by none at this point.

"Yes?" I asked, softly, confused.

"You're alive!"

What?

---0

Err…that's the end of that chapter! Hope you liked it…please **R**eviewwww! Thanks!


	37. Welcome to Mystery & the Family

Thank you guys for the great reviews! Glad you liked the update….!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

-------0

_And one for one desperate moment there,  
he crept back in her memory,  
God it's so painful when something that's so close,  
is still so far out of reach.  
:: American Girl :: Tom Petty_

And then, a huge grin broke out across his face and he pulled me in for a hug.

Well I guess Tony was a smarty, because yes, I was indeed alive. But why was that such a surprise?

Finally he let go of me and I must have had _the_ most confused look on my face. I shook my head, "Should I know you?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "They told me you were dead, that our father shot you. I…I had no idea, all this time! The Piper Kirby that Orroro was telling me about was…was you! My sister! Back from the dead!" He went in to hug me again but I took a step back and put my hands up while Storm and Logan watched, confused.

"You...you can't be…" I shook my head, "No."

"Yes! I am! Don't you remember? Did you know…"

"No! I don't remember or know a thing! I have no recollection of anything, and no one mentioned a brother to me at all."

"Same! Well, I didn't remember, that is."

"Uh, should we take this outside?" Storm asked nervously.

"We…" Tony looked from me to Storm, "This is my sister, Orroro."

Logan butted in just then, thankfully, "I do think we should…take it outside. We don't need to…" He met my eyes and said, "Cause a scene." But we both understood that he really meant 'Be overheard'.

Tony practically dragged me outside, "Just give us a moment!" He called over his shoulder. I nodded that I was ok with being alone with him. Alone, as in, outside, not in a room with just him.

Once we were standing on the sidewalk, he threw his arms out, "After everything happened that night, our father shooting…well, you know the story don't you?"

"I've heard it, but I don't recall it personally."

He nodded as if this made perfect sense, "Well, yes. I didn't remember either! I woke up in a hospital and they sent me off to an orphanage. I had no memories of anything, just a name! They told me you had been killed along with our mother, and our father who took his own life."

"Wait, Tony." I waved my arms around, "You _knew_ I existed?"

"Of course. I was told all about you. Couldn't remember a thing though, not until I was about 17. One day, bits and pieces started coming back to me. Eventually, it all did. Of course, I had been adopted by then and put in therapy by my new family – ah, respectively. But I had remembered! And there you were. But…they told me you were gone."

"Who exactly is 'they'?"

"The police who investigated everything. The cops who found me. They said I was outside hiding along the side of the house when they pulled up."

"I…No. They lied." I rubbed my forehead. Asa found me. Asa told me that everyone was dead and never mentioned a brother. Suddenly I didn't feel too safe being with him.

"Wait – so you remember everything about that night?"

"I…it's still hazy…that whole year is. But from the best of my abilities…I think I was outside for everything. I remember being cold. I guess this isn't helping."

"Tony, I'm sorry but…I'm not…"

"But you are! Piper Isabelle Stranton! But for some reason you go by Kirby - I assume it's because of your adoptive family?"

"Did you…?" I asked, surprised.

"No, my family let me keep my old name. They hoped it would inspire memories, or at least, good memories." He inhaled nervously, "You really don't believe me?"

"Well, unlike you, Tony Stranton, I still don't have my memories back."

He narrowed his eyes, "Yes, but surely you see that…our stories, the similarities – how else would I know all of this about you?"

"I don't know, you tell me! Were you stalking me? I mean, you had Storm to feed you advice and knew whenever you wanted. And I wasn't that secretive, I had a facebook, a twitter, you could have googled me and found whatever you were looking for, I bet!" I wasn't implying that I didn't trust Storm, don't take that from what I was saying. I'm just saying, all he had to do was ask about me, and she'd tell him, unknowing.

"What are you saying, Piper? You think I'm making this all up? And for what purpose? What joy would I get in lying about having my dead sister back?"

I opened my mouth but no sound came out. What could I say? You killed Asa! No, I couldn't just accuse him, not yet.

"What was the cops name?"

"Huh?" He asked.

"Who found you that night, or who was with you in the hospital, what was her name?"

"I don't recall, it was long ago. And besides, I never saw him again after I originally woke up."

I shook my head, "See, that's why none of this makes sense! A cop was there when I woke up and she took me in! Her name was Asa!" There! See…nothing. I had hoped her name would inspire some sort of change of facial expression. But nope, nada.

"Well, certainly. I'm sure there was more than one officer-"

"And what, it's just a coincidence that we both don't remember? That's a little fishy to me."

"What exactly are you accusing me of, here?"

He looked completely confused and like he was thinking me crazy. Which was completely possible. OK, do the math here, Piper. If he remembered when he was 17…he had plenty of time to plot a murder. But that didn't click either.

"I'm sorry, Tony, but this just…"

"Isn't adding up? Look, I agree that it's strange that we both don't remember, but it was traumatizing – we were young. It makes sense."

"Yes, but only to a point!"

"You want proof, is that it? I can supply you with anything you want. I have photo albums! I think…yes, I even have your birth certificate!"

Well, that was something. "Please, that could be anyone's birth certificate!"

"Then look at the pictures!" He exclaimed, getting frustrated. I felt bad; his sudden elation at finding his long last sister was gone. She was denying and refusing him. But he could have killed Asa! I couldn't just look past that.

"How do you have photo albums?" I asked.

He let out a frustrated sigh, "My adoptive parents got one for me, and they said they had to go through hell to obtain them, but they did. It was a gift for my 16th birthday. I think that's part of what led up to me believing."

"Uh-huh." I grunted, "But…ah…Tony." Shit. It was all too good to be true. "Had you told your story to Storm?"

"Orroro? Well."

Of course not. How convenient. But I kept it inside, because he looked lost enough.

"Yeah." I bit my lip, a 'see?' Look on my face. "I think that…" Well, I couldn't be honest with him and say "I think that you killed Asa because she told me you didn't exist. So instead I said, "I'm not saying you're not my brother, but I think that we're doing good for ourselves and…" Ok, c'mon, this was just an excuse, I didn't believe what I was saying, "and I don't want to mess with that. I don't know if you heard, but Asa was killed a few months back and I'm just getting back on my feet now. And things seem to be going well for you, with Orroro. So let's not mess these good things up, ok?"

Ok, but really, what I meant was – You are not going to see Storm after tonight, I'm going to prove you murdered Asa, and then I'm going to fry your ass.

"Ok, look, I didn't tell Storm everything because…it is so confusing, even for me! I didn't want to reveal that part of me. So as far as she knows, I had messed up parents and so I was adopted. I was confused – I still am, seeing as you're alive and standing in front of me right now! I'm sorry! But Piper, all these years…don't just walk away and pretend you never found me." He sounded so desperate. It was so hard.

So I thought it over, "Ok, I'm not. I just need time to accept this, all right? Let me deal with it in my own way, just like you did. Just give me that."

"I can do that. But Piper, please, try not to make assumptions about me?"

"Excuse me?" I asked, glaring at him now.

"I don't know, but you look determined, as if you're set on something. And I just…I've never even met you and you don't remember me. So I don't know what you think about me, but…let me prove to you whether or not it's even true."

"Huh." I said. "I'm gonna," I gestured towards the restaurant, "go get my boyfriend, there, and we're gonna head out."

"Yeah." He agreed but didn't move. "Nice meeting you, Piper." He called, sadly, as I walked away.

I shrugged with my back to him and shook my head. Well, what could I say back? So I settled on, "Goodnight Tony."

And then I stopped and turned to ask him one last question, "Say, uh, Tony…did you like wrestling when you were little?"

"Oh. I loved it for some reason. You didn't though. Mom & Dad would go out on dates every Friday and since I was older I was supposed to babysit you. I'd make you watch it and you hated me for it. We got into the worst fights over it…"

Huh. And then I left, ready to think things through. Maybe he was my brother, but, well, it didn't make him innocent.

-0-0-

Things are getting intense! Hope you enjoyed it – please review!


	38. Of Angels & Angles

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Hope you guys like the update…I'm sorry it too me so long. I got my new class schd and it's eating my life. Anyways, home on break now, so hopefully more updates – and the end of this – will be coming your way. Enjoy! And thanks so much for the lovely reviews!

-----0

_**"It's jamais vu.  
The French opposite of deja vu where everybody is a stranger no matter how well you think you know them." – Chuck P.**_

It wasn't until I crawled into bed that night that I realized I never asked Tony if he were a mutant. Or if he knew I was. Granted, one of the expected issues of the night would have been that he wasn't a mutant, but who really knew?

After I told Tony goodnight, I went in and asked Logan if we could head back.

"I'm sorry, Storm. I'm just…" I thought of lying, saying I was sick, but I held back. I wasn't going to drag her with me and I wasn't about to tell her to ditch Tony right now. So instead I answered honestly, "Overwhelmed. But I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?"

She nodded sadly. "Alright…drive safe." Was all she said, looking over my shoulder for Tony who was walking in.

Logan had a questioning look on his face, but he didn't ask any questions, which was nice of him. In fact, the whole car ride was silent as the grave and when we got home I told him I was calling it a night, kissed him, and went to my room. I think it was killing him, but he knew what it was like to have secrets.

I guess you could tell me that leaving Storm with Tony was dumb. What if he was a killer? Was I really gonna leave my best friend to die? Well. No. The thing was, as dumb as that might have been, Storm was a good mutant, she could protect herself. And if worse came to worse, I trusted Jean would be able to look something up about that.

I lay awake all night. I was lucky it was Friday and didn't have to worry about class or training or waking up early. That was the only nice thing on my mind. But of course, everything else was keeping me wide-awake.

I started writing just to clear my head – connecting the dots. But nothing else was making sense. Eventually, my words weren't making sense to me and I lay back down in bed, finally drifting off.

For some reason, no one bothered me all morning. It was a miracle! I slept 'til 1 o'clock, something I haven't done in years. And then…I paced. I pulled on jean shorts and a Phillies shirt, straightened my hair. And then…I paced some more.

It was too good to be true – you can't just lose everyone and then suddenly find a silver lining. Not a second one. Logan and this school were the first.

Arghh! I threw a pillow at my door, frustrated. I should leave this room, but then what?

My thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Ok, Logan doesn't knock. That leaves…Storm, right? Of course she wants to talk about last night with Tony. Duh.

I opened the door and saw Jean standing there. She was wearing a yellow one-piece and a matching sarong. "Hey, have a second?"

I opened the door wider and ushered her in. She sat on my bed, making herself comfortable, while I sat on the computer chair, facing her.

"So…I heard you met your long lost brother last night?"

"Logan?' I asked, somewhat surprised that he would be a gossip.

"Storm. She was pretty upset, so she asked me to try and see what was in your future with him."

"What? My future – why not her own?"

"She doesn't want to know about her relationship with him, but she's under the impression that…that maybe he did something to you in the past. Something that you can't remember. And since she never knew he had a sister, she became concerned that he might be lying about other stuff." She sighed and played with her ponytail. "So I did…I did my best, anyways, to see what the future held…"

"Ok, oh-mystic-one, what are you trying to tell me?"

"I saw two different scenarios. Now, if you'd let me look into your head I could maybe…"

"No." Realizing I was being short, I added, "The professor tried and nothing." I shrugged.

"Ok, Ok, sorry. I just haven't been able to get many details. I'll just say this – in one vision I saw him sitting at the breakfast table with you and Storm, smiling and laughing. The other one was similar, but further away because your hair is a lot longer. You're at…well I think it's his apartment, and you look like you're staying there for a few days. But you're smiling when you talk with him and there is no obvious tension…"

"Jean, why'd you ask me to be a bridesmaid?"

"What?" She was clearly taken by surprise.

"I'm just wondering. You barely knew me and now that you do, I think you don't like me. So, why even ask?"

"You want to know? Fine. I knew someone was coming that was going to change things. Students would be happier, Logan would be happier…we all would be. A new face, a friendly one. And it was you. And I do like you, I just…"

I waited, not bothering to make an effort. She was of course, going to go on about Logan.

"You are a bit much sometimes."

Wait, what? "Much?"

"Well, you and I are just different in that way. You're crazy and fun, yes, but sometimes you just say things that…don't make sense."

"Yeah but…I explain them!" I argued.

"I know but, the whole…slang and such. You're a teacher in an English Department yet you hardly sound intelligent."

Oh. Oh. Oh.

"So…well, I'm not about to change. And you're the only one with a problem with it."

"I can't be the only one. I just…that's how I see you. And I'm…well I'm getting over hating you for it. But sometimes that bugs me. That's all."

"Whatever, thanks for the news about Tony. You can leave now."

"I don't hate you! I just said it annoyed me! Don't be mad about this."

"Jean, I think you're pretentious and snobby, but do I judge you?" er… "No! I never complained and I always tried to make an effort with you. You just yell at me and hate me because I say things you find dumb. Well, maybe they are dumb, but you have to take me as I am. Now, please leave."

She rolled her eyes, "Whatever….And I am not snobby." With that she got up and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her.

Now what? I opened a desk drawer, suddenly remembering my external hard drive, and started loading it onto the computer. It was this, or start cleaning like crazy. The only two things that could distract me right now.

As some of my old pictures were loading, Logan walked in. I mumbled hey and he came up behind me and kissed me quick before looking at the computer.

"Memory lane?" He asked.

"It's a short road, but yep."

"Jean is screaming at Scott about something. Someone told her she was snobby?"

"Hmm…no clue about that one." I rolled my eyes and looked at him. "Do you think Tony killed Asa?"

"That's a big question, Piper. I wasn't the one who talked to him last night."

"It doesn't matter, you saw all the evidence I did." I wanted closure of some sort. I wanted solid answers. I wanted him to lie to me.

"Look, you have to be the judge of this. What did he say, last night?"

"He said he didn't remember anything either. He said he woke up in a hospital, was told I was dead along with our parents, and eventually he was adopted. He said my last name is really Stranton, and that eventually some of his memories came back. And that's how he recognized me."

"Some?"

"Yeah, apparently that night was still hazy." What more could I say?

Something caught his attention on the screen and he leaned foreword. "Who is that?"

"Me, duh. And Asa." We were at dinner at some Cuban café on our vacation to Disney World and I asked the waiter to take a photo of us. I had this idea of making a photo blog that told a story with pictures. I had been taking pictures of all sorts of things, a suitcase, our hotel room, and the neon lights on the restaurant. I wanted to tell the story of our vacation using as little words as possible. That was jr year of college, and I ended up just putting the photos on facebook. What a waste of an idea.

"That's Asa?" He asked slowly.

"Yes. You have seen her before…granted the situation was different."

"No…I've never seen the woman in the photograph before. "

"That's not true, you saw pictures of us in the apartment. It's the same person."

He closed his eyes, "No, I never really…saw her. I only really saw the old prom photos of you and pretending to be jealous. This…I'm telling you, I would have recognized her face."

"Even covered in blood?"

"No, it wasn't covered in…When we got there, she was facedown, throat slit, but…her face was untouched."

"Logan, that's a lie." I accused, but I think part of me knew he was telling the truth.

"If that wasn't Asa who you found, who was it? And…what happened to Asa?"

---00

Hope you liked it!! Please review, thanks!


	39. The Woman Of A Thousand Faces

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ok guys! So I was originally going to post one short chapter and two longs ones to finish this story, but now I'm going to just do two really long chapters.

**I need YOUR opinion!** _Please?_ What do you think…a sequel to this or a whole new character in a LoganOC story? I have ideas for both but not the time. Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated! And thanks for all the reviews….you guyssssss….seriously, thank you.

0-0-0

We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are.  
Sane or insane.  
Heros or victims.  
Letting history tell us how good or bad we are.  
Letting our past decide our future.  
Or we can decide for ourselves.  
And maybe it's our job to invent something better.

:: Chuck P. ::

Logan and I stared at each other; "We need to go find Charles, now." I said, running from the room, Logan following me. We were stopped when we reached the kitchen.

There was Storm, a worried look on her face, eyes red. She was talking to Scott and Charles, frantically. "Piper!" She cried, running up to me.

"What's goin' on?" Logan asked, taking in the scene as I had.

"It's Tony, he's missing."

"What? Since when?"

"This morning. I saw him being taken. Sure enough, Storm made some phone calls and no one has seen him since last night." Charles said looking over at us sadly.

"Well…Logan and I just found out he didn't burn Asa's body."

"Yes we did – I was there." Scott argued.

"No, it wasn't Asa. Go look on Piper's computer, plenty of pictures. It's a different woman." Logan tried to explain, crossing his arms.

"So who did we burn?" Scott, Logan, Storm and myself all looked over to Charles. His eyes were shut.

"Her name was Dorothy, she was a homeless woman who had taken shelter in that building. She was dead before Scott & Logan got there." He opened his eyes again, and when he did so, he looked directly at me, "Asa is still alive."

"No," I whispered, out of shock, "I saw her…I touched – it's not possible!" I tried arguing.

"She was very clever, Piper." Charles said, trying to be sympathetic. "Think this through."

And I did. "So, Asa…" I shook my head and then after looking at Storms worried face, I admitted the idea that had crossed my mind, "Asa would have been the only one who knew I had a brother. And she wouldn't have liked that Tony came back and found me."

"Yeah, but none of this explains faking her death. Maybe she didn't take Tony but…Maybe they're working together. She fakes her death for some reason, and you start snooping around. So she or Tony burns the photo albums. Then the house, after trapping you in the basement. They weren't planning on me or they didn't know about my mutation. Makes sense up until the faking her death point."

"Tony is not a murderer!" Suddenly, Storm was furious. She marched right up to Logan like she was going to slap him, but restrained herself, "I know that's what you two are thinking, but he isn't a killer! And he's not a mutant either. I know he lied about his past, and yes that upsets me, but that doesn't mean he murdered Asa or your parents! He's a good man." At this, she started to break down, "He's a good man, and I love him, and now he's missing."

Charles spoke up then, "Tony is in danger. I will go and try to find his location, once I have that knowledge, I'll inform you." With that, he left the room.

Storm sat at the table, holding her head in her hands. I sat next to her nervously. It was very possible that this is my entire fault. Jean walked in then and I expected her to yell at me or blame me. Instead, she sat at the table on the other side of Storm.

"We will find him and save him. And then we will deal with whatever else comes our way." She said, patting her friends back.

"He told me about your conversation last night." Storm turned to me, "And it scared me because I understood why you wouldn't believe him. I did understand why he was hesitant about telling me his past, but I suspected him. And I accused him. We had a fight and I came back. The last conversation I had with him was accusing him of murder!"

What do you say to that, exactly?

"I'm-" I tried to apologize, but she wouldn't hear it.

"I don't want you to be sorry, because I shouldn't have known about the conversation. You didn't tell me to blame him…but I did, and it's no ones fault but mine. It's just…I know, I know in my heart he had nothing to do with Asa's death. I believe him. If you only knew…Oh Piper, he is most certainly your brother! I should have seen it long ago. I should have somehow put it together, maybe."

"Storm…if he's as much like me as you say, then that fight will mean nothing, and he'll have faith, wherever he is, that you're coming."

She sighed, "I hope."

Jean looked away and shut her eyes then repeated a message to us.

"The professor says he has a location for us to search, but he cannot say whether or not you will find Asa there."

"Then we have no choice, we're going. Where exactly are we going, though?" Scott was the one speaking now.

"Back to Florida…a place called Everglade City. You'll find him on a Seminole Reservation. It's been abandoned for some time."

We all looked to Storm. "I'm coming." I announced, standing up with her.

"And me," Logan agreed.

"Well, you guys won't get very far without me." Scott bobbed his head. Now we waited.

"Look…this is…" Jean was thinking over arguing the whole mission, that was obvious, but she seemed to think it through first, "I'm coming too."

And so we headed off to change and prepare for our mission.

--------0

The last place I wanted to be at the moment was on this jet. I wanted to be curled up in bed, Di-oh-gee lying at my feet, The Nanny playing on nick at nite, maybe some tea. And cake. And ice cream. With whipped cream. But first a big juicy burger from Burger King. With fries. And onion rings.

But no, I couldn't just do that, and I understood why, it just…wasn't pleasant. I guess that's life though, right? Unpleasantness and more unpleasantness. But you take the good with the bad and then you'll have…the facts of life. Huh. Now that theme song was stuck in my head. Good job, self.

I stared out the window as we flew through the clouds. The sun was starting to set by now, one of the signs that fall was coming – earlier and earlier sunsets. Logan, who was a nervous flier, was dozing lightly next to me. I say lightly very…lightly. I think he was faking it when really he just needed to keep his eyes closed for appearances sake. I looked at him, and whispered softly to see if he would respond.

"Hey."

He opened his eyes and looked at me sideways, "Hey." He whispered back.

"So." I looked to the window then back at him, "I'm afraid I don't know how to attack someone without killing them."

"Well, that's why we've been training." He looked me sideways again and shut his eyes.

The jet was so quiet, and it just got quieter. I hadn't expected that for a pep talk. I sighed and turned back to the window.

"I guess I can't really help you here because I have a personal motto that is, if we're fighting and they die, it's not an accident."

"Oh."

He squeezed my hand, surprising me.

"You should give yourself more credit. You've been training and now it'll all pay off. Just…have more faith in yourself."

Now, that's more like it. We rode the rest of the way in silence, holding hands. We didn't really do that, but I kind of really liked it and wanted to do it more.

----0

"Alright, so the place is supposedly abandoned, but this is where Tony is. I say we split up and whenever anyone finds something, push the button on your wristband." New technology was great! These tiny little X-pins were sewed into our wrists. You had to twist and then push them and they'd send out a signal, causing the rest of the teams wrists to vibrate. It was quite brilliant, in my opinion.

"Splitting up? Isn't that the last thing that we want to do?" Jean asked as Storm peered out of the window, trying to spot any sign of life. We had landed amongst tall trees that had hopefully hid the jet well enough. If we walked, according to Scott, we'd come upon the reservation.

"It might be, but it'll be the fastest way to find anything out. Fact finding only – don't act, even if you do find him. Just press the button and we'll meet up and plan our attack. Meet back here if possible." Scott finished his speech just as Storm flew foreword and slammed down on the stairway button. The floor dropped as stairs started forming. I'd never get over all of this.

"You're not gonna fight, right?" I asked Logan as we walked towards the bottom.

"You know me." He smirked and we walked quickly to follow Storm. There in the distance was a tall red wooden fence. It was here that we split up; Storm retreated to find her way up a tree to see over it. Scott and Jean headed towards their left and Logan and I walked towards the back. We split up once on that end; I found an entrance that was small enough for me to crawl through and he had another wall to cover.

Once I crawled inside, I stood up behind a brown wooden building and scanned the area. It was barren, as far as life forms go. But there were plenty of identical wooden buildings in two rows by me. What now? The sun had pretty much set by now and I was going off of the light provided at twilight.

Ok, quietly as possible, I walked along the wall of the first building and listened. Nothing. Slowly I opened a side door and the room was completely empty. Nothing. This went on for several more buildings. Finally I came to the middle and there I spotted Storm. She was making hand motions at someone inside a bigger building. I'd imagine it was this places' court building.

If Storm found Tony she was doing a crappy job of signaling the group. And then, out of nowhere, a hand tapped me on the shoulder. Slowly, I turned around, and there was a gun in my face. Oh, hey.

But more surprisingly was the person holding the gun. I froze and I think my jaw dropped open. "Asa." I croaked, partly in shock but partly in fear because, well, it's not every day that someone puts a gun in your face.

She didn't say anything, just tilted her head, gesturing me to head a certain direction. Ok, I was a mutant. I could hurt her and get away – no. Ok, maybe I wouldn't kill her but…I wasn't even going to risk it. In fact, despite the gun in my face I wasn't ready to hurt her.

Walking slowly towards the courtroom building, I searched frantically. Where were the others? Storm, who had been her moments ago, was now gone. And yet, my wrist never vibrated. Up the stairs and through a door we went, til finally, Asa sat me down, holding the gun in my face. She didn't even lower it as she handcuffed me to a metal pole on the side of the room.

Well, this wasn't what I expected. I knew, now that I was handcuffed and attached to a metal pole, escaping was going to be harder. Yet at the same time I was aware of Asa's silence and despite the gun, I didn't feel threatened.

"How are you alive?" I asked, acting as if she wasn't holding a gun and a taser in her hands while I was handcuffed to a pole in the middle of fricking alligator alley.

"What makes you think I am?" She paced back and forth, resisting the urge to peak out the now boarded up windows.

"I saw you die – I held you…" my voice cracked again. "Your blood was everywhere! And now you're here. And don't try to make me seem crazy, I know this is real."

"Oh, do you, dear? I honestly don't believe that. I mean, you don't have any of your memories from your traumatic childhood – do you really think you could handle something as graphic as what you're describing?"

"Asa, come on…I know this is real." But as I spoke the words, I started to doubt myself. "Please, just be honest with me…I…miss you so much."

"And now I'm here." She shrugged and smiled sadly.

"Holding me hostage? And Tony?"

"Look at it as a mental breakdown. Your family is gone so you make up this imaginary one that accepts you for all your mutant abilities. Then you meet Logan – the first person you've ever truly loved. He loves you back! But things still aren't all right, you have no real family. And isn't it convenient that Storm's new boyfriend looks just like you? Finally. A brother you've never known you've had is here. It's complete. The school, a brother, a lover…" She sighed and looked away. "Wouldn't that be the life?"

I opened my mouth as if I was speaking, but no actual sounds came out. Even if it weren't all in my head, how would she know all of this? Suddenly, I had no idea what to think. I'd done the math – people who had gone through traumatic events sometimes got this disorder where the stress of the forgotten events is hidden so deep yet hurts so badly, that you physically start to hurt. It was called Conversion Disorder. People suffered for years, going untreated because doctors couldn't figure out what was triggering the pain and some people have become paralyzed from it. Me? Apparently I created an alternate universe.

So how does one find out if they're crazy? Usually if you can ask the question, you're not. But I had decided to play hardball.

"What about the…" I looked away, as if I were ashamed, "the cat. Was that real or in my head?"

Confusion on her face, until finally she said, "Your head, of course."

"But why? It was so terrible. I mean, I guess you were there then, huh?" And that's all I needed – her .5 second slip in the face. Making up a cat reference was enough. I shook my head, "I'm not crazy, Asa. This is all real. And while it may seem too good to be true, maybe it's about time something great happened to me – after all, my foster mom faked her own death and lied about me having a brother! What else did you do?"

Rolling her eyes she took a step closer to me, squeezing a button on the taser as if proving to me that it was real. "I had you going, didn't I? In fact, I had you going for years. But Piper, don't think I'm the bad guy here. I'm just tying up my loose ends."

"Loose ends? As in…what? Killing me? Killing Tony? Why? What happened that…I mean, all the lies…" I fidgeted then, as she took a step closer.

"You're not supposed to remember. And I'd take away your memory again if I was sure it would work, but Tony gained most of his back, and you seem so close – I can't risk it again. Forgive me, ok?" Asa's demeanor was different. I'd never seen her like this. And I don't mean the brown-stained dirty jeans and old tattered grey t-shirt she was wearing. I mean the attitude and the menacing look on her face. I thought I'd seen her angry before, but I suppose not.

And before I could say another work she jumped forward and thrust the taser into my stomach. If I had been wondering what it felt like to taste my own medicine, I knew now. I shook and spazzed, aching all over. But it ended just as fast as it began.

Oww…I closed my eyes, wishing I could get out of this terrible position I was now in – both physically and the other way or whatever.

"You got too curious and started snooping around your old home. And I was willing to let you go, once you escaped the basement. But then Tony told you everything and I couldn't have that. I realized what I had to do. And I'm sorry, because you really were like a daughter to me, despite that annoying mutation of yours. I just haven't figured out how to kill you yet." What about Tony? Was he still alive? Great. Now that I'd been zapped there was no way that wrist x was going to vibrate now!

"Ok, ok…" I wheezed, breathing heavily.

She leaned foreword on one knee and touched my chin. "The blood was real, it just wasn't mine. I was able to fake my death, use someone else's' blood, frame the bum…it all really worked out too well. You see, Piper…it's not that you didn't mean anything to me, oh you did…but I met Earl and it was time to move on."

What is going on? I slowly opened my eyes and noticed the gun was now on the ground, but the taser was poised and ready.

"What did you mean, about the memories? How do you control…"

"I know some science and math and some dealers – it was Philadelphia after all! You see, when your father and I fell in love…well, I knew we had to be together. But he wouldn't leave that damn wife and kids of his. Oh, forgive me for speaking ill of them. I got your father drunk at the bar and I had to drive him home then. We pulled up to the house and I followed him inside where I killed your mommy and daddy and went looking for you. You were hiding so well. But I couldn't worry too much about that – the cops would be there soon and your brother was missing and I had to deal with him. You weren't a concern. You were cowering under the bed – easily taken care of at a later point in time.

And then Tony was there, at the bottom of the stairs, holding a rock and trying to be brave. I don't think he saw the mess in the kitchen or else he wouldn't have been so brave. But there he was, aware there was an intruder in his house and he didn't like it. So, instead of shooting him and killing him, I drugged him. He ran from me then and hid wherever he hid. Once he was in the hospital, all I had to do was keep the doses coming to ensure his memory would be gone. "

"You're not a cop?" I mumbled, watching as she stood up and walked towards a briefcase.

"No, of course not! I'd never pass their mental capability tests – I'd be too smart." Yeah, if that's what you want to call it! "But I was able to forge an identity on the Philadelphia unit. I worked there for months after I met your father. I had planned on killing your family, not him. But he wouldn't have any of that. He was all noble, saying "I'd die before I hurt my family!" Oh please. He may not have had a complete affair with me, but we had our chats, our meals, and our moments. That was all I needed.

But then there was _you._ You woke up in the hospital and the drugs worked after one dose. I took to you for some reason – I saw a bit of me in you, why, I can't explain. So I made the story up and reported it just like that. Drugged you every few years to make sure no memories came around. It was great. But then…well, you were a mutant. And that just wasn't something I could handle." She made a sad noise as she pulled out a few vials and a syringe. "I ignored it for years but I knew I'd have to handle it eventually. I just needed a new home after I made my move. So I traveled, down here mostly. Where I ran into Earl.

He had a son, but I was very good with children. Anyways, I went for the father and made my move on you. I realized that, despite your mut…well, you know, I would let you live and fake my own death. But then something strange happened. The police weren't all over you after my death and your story didn't make any sense. I realized then that I'd have to keep my eye on you. So I gave up Earl for a bit and came back up to keep my eye out. Then your friend started dating Tony. And you got curious about your oh-so-mysterious past. I made an attempt at the old house, but I thought I'd focus on sending a message. But Tony…I couldn't believe he had gotten his memories back! Well, most of them. So I had to take care of him. And he had to drag you down with him, didn't he?" Once the syringe was full of a thick looking green substance, she walked towards me.

"And now, in your glorious last moments of life, the truth has come to you! If only I could give you back the memories of your family that you lost years ago. But I'm not a freak like you, so I apologize." And just as she pressed the needle into my skin, risking everything, I unleashed a buildup of shock power I wasn't even aware I had within me.

-0-0-

Ok, I'm sorry for ending this chapter like this. I know it's a pain in the butt, but hold your horses! More is on the way. In fact, expect an update and a final chapter on Friday! Please review! And thanks!


	40. That's Enough For Now

Disclaimer: I own nothing

So, once again, thank you guys for the great reviews! Also, thanks for answering my questions…I've pretty much made up my mind, so you'll be seeing an update from me for a new story ASAP. Keep an eye out. Will it be a sequel or a new character? DUN DUN DUN. But yeah, I'll have that out for you soon. I really appreciate you guys taking the time to respond. I hope you like this.

---0

Home is where your heart is  
Find where you belong,  
start to take control,  
show a little soul  
Then you feel who you are  
:: The Sounds ::

Complete darkness engulfed us both and for a second I thought I somehow transported us. Quickly I realized it had become full dark outside and I had only been able to shock her off of me. I was lying face first, and that face was covered in blood thanks to exerting my own powers. Asa was lying in a corner nearby, twitching. Was she dead?

This is the part in the scary movie where you think the killer is dead, check, and almost get killed in the process.

Just then, the door burst open and in came Logan and Storm. I pointed towards a door and said "Tony." Quick enough for Storm to catch my hint and bust in there to search for him. Logan ran over to me and looked from Asa back to me again. I rubbed my wrists, thankful that I freed myself somehow.

"Is she?"

"Don't know." I shook my head. He walked over towards her slowly and leaned in to examine her. In a flash she struck, and before either of us could react, she stuck Logan with the needle and collapsed again, shaking all over.

I pulled myself up and ran to him. He yanked the needle out and threw it across the room and quickly unleashed his claws.

"Logan!" I practically screeched at him, trying to hold his arm back. Asa was shaking so much as it was, she was bound to get cut. He was seething though, so I had to use all of my might and eventually we both toppled over.

Pushing Logan down again, much to his dismay, I crawled once again back to where Asa was having a spaz attack and looked at her. Another trick? No matter, she had no needle this time. I watched her shiver and shake and knew she would not recover.

Have you ever known anyone who had been struck by lighting? One time the professor told me that someone struck by me experienced something to a lightning strike 3 times over. You don't survive that and if you do…

Slowly what needed to be done dawned on me. Asa was the bad guy here and maybe she deserved to live the rest of her life out suffering, but I couldn't give her that fate. I know that she ruined me. And my brother…our family. She stole a childhood and a family away from me. What was mine and fated to me was changed because of her. But did that mean she should live out the rest of her days in constant pain? Reliving the shock treatment I just gave her? It would drive her mad eventually, that much I knew. But maybe she was already crazy.

I reached out and grabbed her wrists with both of my hands. Part of me was aware that my face was soaked with more than blood at this point. I think I was shaking as much as she was, but my mind was made up. Taking one deep breath I made my move. Logan must've seen the look on my face or caught on some other way, because I could easily hear the horror in his voice as he called out, "No, Piper…"

Part of me wondered if I would hear the horror in his voice just as clearly when I relived this moment over and over again in the future.

His request was ignored and I released the final blow, using up what was left of my strength. I had murdered a man for killing Asa in the past and now I was killing Asa for murdering my past. That was the last thought that passed through my head as I watched her shaking cease and her eyes roll back into her head. I sighed and closed my eyes only to join her in that same darkness.

-0-0-0

A bright light shone in my eyes waking me up from the long sleep I had been taking. And so I was left wondering, was that it? Was it all just a dream? But as I slowly rolled onto my back the aching and pain convinced me it was real. Ok, so it was real, but what exactly was _it?_ What had happened? I didn't exactly want to remember _it._

The movement at the foot of the bed let me know I wasn't alone and I had to face up to the past very soon. I blinked awake and looked at the figure that was now at the nightstand preparing something.

"How long have I been asleep?" Wearily I rubbed my face, yet no dried blood came off of it.

"A day…we got back to the mansion around 3am and you've slept that day through. It's about 9am. Here." Storm walked to my side of the bed and scooted over so she could sit. She set down a cup of what I think was tea and some toast next to the bed. "How are you feeling?" She asked, no ill feelings behind the question.

"Sore…tired still." I couldn't meet her eyes though and we sat in silence for a bit.

"Tony!" I asked, sitting up suddenly, recalling that he was…I gasped and looked at her, but she smiled.

"Oh! No…he's fine! He's quite alright…We got to him in time. We had to bring him back to the mansion to save him, but we were quick about it and the poison didn't take hold. He's still recovering, but he should be good enough to go home in a few days."

"Thank God." I sighed, feeling like crying with sudden relief. "Everything…I don't know what to think now. What to do." I held a hand to my face.

"If you're up for it, I'll explain everything."

I nodded.

"Well, we were able to find out that Dioxin was the son of Asa's last…love. She mimicked her actions with your family, but because of his mutation, he remembered everything. He absorbs things when he's around people, emotions, thoughts, and memories too. The common theory is that he slapped you because he connected you with what happened to his family."

"Oh." I sat up and grabbed the cup, blowing on it before sipping.

"Asa had been in Florida hoping to…well…she wanted Dioxin out of the picture before he let her secret out. But she couldn't find the moment. She called Tony down, told him it was business, and kidnapped him. I think…well…according to Tony, she had planned on killing him in front of you and then doing the same to you, but she got impatient that you would figure it out or care enough to come."

I looked down. "Storm…I'm sorry. This is…"

"What? You gonna blame yourself? This wasn't anyone's fault. None of it was…."

I shook my head, unsure of what to say.

"There is a silver lining though. Dioxin is the key to your memories. After absorbing things from Asa and being around you…Xavier thinks that if you two meet again he can capture all of your memories and cause you to recall everything."

That's your silver lining?

"Are we just going to ignore the last thing that happened?" I asked, meaner than I meant.

"You were just protecting-"

"It wasn't in self defense, Storm. I killed her." I shrugged. "Thank you for waiting for me to wake up and for filling me in. And for the food. I really appreciate it. I do. But I'm sore and tired and just…I just want to sleep, ok?"

Storm sighed and stood up. "I'm here if you need me, ok?"

As she left she pulled the blinds down and turned back to me one last time, "Look, I know I wasn't there or anything, but it sounds to me like you made the toughest decision a human can make. You have to be strong enough to make that choice and I'm not sure I'd be brave enough to do it. Just…you know, keep in mind, if it were you, you'd want someone to make the right choice for you too."

I had already tucked myself back in by that point and closed my eyes. We were both aware that I was faking, but she left without another word anyway.

The last thing I remembered thinking before letting my aching body fall back asleep was that I can't recall turning down a meal before in my entire life.

0-0-0-

I woke up to find a big dog asleep at the foot of the bed and a sitting up Logan on my bed, eyes closed, in a soft slumber. One glance at the clock let me know it was around 10 o'clock at night. For a second I wondered if I'd be expected to get up in the morning and teach or train, but I quickly pushed the thoughts away and pulled myself up to sitting position. That cold bread still didn't look good, but now I did have a bit of an appetite.

Sensing my movement, Logan's eyelids slowly opened. I smiled wearily at him and he returned it. "Have a good nap?"

"A decent one." I sighed.

"Good to hear." He tucked a stray hair behind my ear. "I woulda been here sooner, but I wass trying to figure stuff out with Dioxin. Figures that you'd wake up when Storm was in here, right after I left."

I took his hand and kissed it softly, not sure I knew what to say at the moment, in response to anything at all.

"You scared me there, darling." He said, all seriousness.

"Did anything happen when she hit you with the needle?"

"Nah, she never got to inject me with anything. But. I'm proud of you. Angry at you for making me worry, but you know, proud all the same."

"Oh yeah, thanks." I sat up fully now and in Indian style. "We're both aware that I'm a killer, right? It's scary." I could hear the fear in my voice and hated myself for it.

"Look we both know you made a choice and it was the right one."

"Maybe. I mean-"

"First off, aren't you the one that always said it wasn't about right or wrong choices, just choices? Would you go back and change it? Now?"

"What if I never would have-"

"What if? What if? C'mon, be realistic with me Piper. Things happen certain ways for a reason. Beating yourself up over your choices isn't going to change the course of history."

"Maybe. But…it's getting to the point where…Logan, I'm becoming terrified that I won't be able to use my power on someone without actually killing them. I've only been successful at that once or twice. But every time I try to use them in self defense, someone dies."

This fear was nothing new, to Logan or myself, and here I was voicing it once again.

"Well then, we know what we have to work on. In the meantime, just don't use them so much on people you love or care about." He put on a small smile and I mirrored it. This wasn't an answer to solve everything; in fact it was similar to the answer I got before. Logan was a fighter, killing people in battle wasn't a big thing to him. Me? Well, I guess we were about to find out, seeing my recent activities.

"I'm not sure that everything has hit me yet…"

"It probably won't. Not for awhile."

"Logan…I've made a decision though, ok? And I'm certain you won't agree with it, but please, just try to accept it, ok?"

"I'm not totally unreasonable, Piper." He sounded a little offended.

I rubbed my eyes, " I know, I know, but…I don't want to see Dioxin, ok? I know it's crazy, after everything…but right now, I just want to deal with all of this."

I waited to see his face drop or him to spout out a lecture or something. Instead he pulled me close, "That's perfectly alright by me. You owe it to yourself to take a break anyways."

He held me like that for a little while and I wished I could read his mind and just know what he was thinking. Was he being sincere? Yes, I knew that. But had I let him down in some way?

"One more thing."

"Ok."

"I know it's late, but is there a place we can go to get some breakfast for dinner?"

He laughed and said he knew of a diner we could go to.

It wasn't over like that, no stories are, especially not mine. I knew that something was just beginning, whether it was between Logan and myself or whether it had to do with my memories, family, or mutation…I wasn't sure. But I knew that in this moment I had a brother. A boyfriend. A real family. And a home.

Things weren't perfect, but then again, neither is life. And hell, while I was aware that my demons weren't nearly defeated, I still had it pretty damn good. And that's enough for now.

-0-0 THE END 0-0-

So, there we have it. I realize it kind of just ends, but then again, I was trying to be…"realistic" about it. As in, this is life, so things can't end perfectly. But you can reach a place where things seem good, so that's where I put her. I think this end doesn't do it justice, but I wasn't sure that I could come up with one that did! Anyways, I hope you liked it. I am so thankful for all of you, readers and reviewers. I means a lot to me to see you guys following and responding and it keeps me going. And thanks for being so loyal and not giving up on me…wow…I can't believe I started this story back in July! And not it's finished…!

Expect an update soon!


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